Category Archives: Dude

Do You Realize?

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I’ve been thinking about this post for a while. I guess on some level, it’s been knocking around the Dude’s noggin for years.

On September 5th my Grandmother passed away.

Grandma, Gram, Greatma. The Dude’s Mom’s Mom. The absolute epitome of a Grandmother.

Here we are 20 days later, and I’m just now getting around to putting pen to pad…or keystroke to keyboard. I can’t really explain my slow pace for turning this post around. I guess a life with kids is always an excuse, but that’s not really what held me up. It was more of a reluctance.

A reluctance to move on, a reluctance to face the closure, a reluctance to work through the feelings of mourning, a reluctance to let one of the last pieces of childhood fade away? Probably all of the above, but also a reluctance to the idea of my post not living up to  the amazing person that Gram is (she’ll always be in my heart, so I’m sticking with is rather than was).

The Dude has been blessed with some amazing genes. If my Grandparents are any sign of what’s to come, then Mrs. Dude is stuck with me for a long time. Gram passed away a month and a half before her 92nd birthday, and her amazing husband, Pop, is still watching the Yankees and doing his daily crossword puzzle  at the ripe age of 94.

92 years of life is amazing, and beyond just surviving for such a long period of time, Gram shared an infectious love with everyone she met for those 92 years. She had four children, 10 grandchildren, and eight great grandchildren. She definitely left a legacy, but that legacy is much more than the number of her offspring.

By the time someone you love reaches 92, it’s a safe bet that thoughts of their passing have crossed your mind. So, I’ve had time to ponder the importance that Gram holds for me. And it is a deep, down to my core, type of importance. But it is never fully understood until it is a reality. When that phone call comes, and that expected, yet dreaded, news is passed through the family.

I’ve had twenty days to let the reality sink in, and Gram’s importance to me grows everyday. But I’ve moved beyond my reluctance to falling short. I know my writing can never live up to the person that Martha Louise Olsen is. Words can’t capture how special she is and how she could warm people’s hearts by just being herself.

There are endless examples and stories to tell. We relived great memories when we celebrated her life at the funeral. Tea parties, surprises under our pillows, singing around the Christmas tree, tennis camp, hours spent traveling to soccer games, our favorite desserts. But to me, Gram’s lasting significance was as simple as it could be, love…and lots of it.

Gram always had a smile to share and never had a bad word for anyone. She was a fighter for what she believed in, but she would fight in the absolute most loving way. I never once heard a complaint, saw an angry face, or witnessed even the slightest mean-spirited action. Family was always the top priority, but her love stretched way beyond the family tree. Her love was all inclusive. And her husband, Pop, was the man she loved the most until the final breath of air.

I am who I am, on so many levels, because of Gram’s love. I am the husband, father, and person that I am because of the lessons that Gram passed on to me. And the brilliance of it all is the Gram never once “taught” me a lesson. She passed on everything I needed to know to live a good life and be a good person by just being who she was. Her love infected me from day one, and it will never let me go.

As I’ve pondered the passing of people I love over the years, I’ve had a song by the Flaming Lips that sticks with me. There are a lot of nice thoughts in the song, but one that stands out, and is fitting for this particular moment goes like this:

Do You Realize – that everyone you know someday will die
And instead of saying all of your goodbyes – let them know
You realize that life goes fast
It’s hard to make the good things last

We’ll all be moving to the great unknown someday, but while we’re here, the most important thing we can do is share our love and let the people who are important to us know how much we care for them. When they are gone, they’re gone. I can’t tell Gram that I love her today, but I know beyond a shadow of a doubt how much she loved me and she knows how much I love her.

The Dude family is basking in this love as well. We don’t let a day pass without saying those three magic words…many times. 🙂 It’s hard to make the good things last, so enjoy them while they are here, let them know how special they are…and fight like hell to keep them close.

Before I share the great Flaming Lips tune, I want to share a Bible verse. Stop choking, yes, a Bible verse. I believe this is the first time the Dude has quoted the Bible; not sure if/when it will happen again, so enjoy. This is a verse from Gram’s funeral service, and it captures Gram’s essence and her enduring lesson…plus, it uses the word “abide”…as in The Dude abides.

1 Corinthians 13
Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends…And now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; and the greatest of these is love.

Can I get an amen?!

And now on to the Flaming Lips, but before I go, I’ll sign off as I always do with Gram; “I love you Gram.”

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ETI72zGyzZI&feature=related[/youtube]

Cue the Boyz II Men…

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The Dude loves the minivan. I’ve made no secret of my affinity for the gorgeous champagne yacht. In fact here’s a direct quote from one of my many minivan posts:

“As I’ve mentioned, I love our minivan.  Mrs. Dude is still somewhat skeptical, but I dig it.  And for all the haters, we’ve got a captain’s hat and a mini machine gun to let them know we are legit minivaners.”

But there has been a mutiny in Dude Land. The Capt. and his ship have been pillaged.

Here’s a quote from Mrs. Dude:

Things I won’t miss about the minivan:
1. the sticky steering wheel. (it was sticky b/c it was old, and touched by many hands not b/c I didn’t clean it)
2. the rims, they matched the paint job…gold.
3. the ceiling falling on our heads
4. the looks I got from people while driving the mini van, most just giggled.

Mrs. Dude and the Princess have teamed up to overrule the Dude and ship that champagne beauty off to uncharted waters.

Apparently they didn’t like the awesome gold rims, the roof falling on their heads, yadda, yadda, yadda.

She’s been sold to a fisherdude, who will stuff her full of fishing gear…rather than baby gear. I hope they form a strong bond…and the capt. hat gets good use.

Via con dias, minvan.

Champagne Queen

Champagne Queen

Cue the Boyz II Men…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8b3mftcV0dY&feature=player_embedded[/youtube]

 

Here’s to Our Version of Danny & Annie

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June is a busy month around the Dude casa. School’s out, so that’s adds to the crazy. There are also a few special days for us to celebrate. A bunch of family birthdays…Lady in the Shoe has like 25 kids. Close to home, we have the Princess and Little Dude celebrating their big day only five days apart…great for duel bday parties!

But beyond the cake and candles, me and the Mrs. share our anniversary early in the month. We celebrated with a great dinner at a local restaurant, but I let time slip by without a post to commemorate the day.

I had a video saved to share, but I filed it away where I couldn’t find, so here we are three weeks late after I stumbled upon it. I considered saving it for next year, but clearly my filing system needs some improvement. So I figured I’d share now. Better late than never.

Happy belated anniversary Mrs. Dude. Here’s to our version of Danny & Annie…

Week 52: Walking, Throwing, Kicking, Oh My!

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6.19.11 - Birthday Boy

6.19.11 - Birthday Boy

How many weeks are in a year? Ding, ding, ding…52. Little Dude is officially a one year old.

He picked a great day to burst on the scene. Every few years we’ll get to celebrate Father’s Day and his birthday. And this was one of the lucky years. A nice bonus.

Every stage makes me wish I could freeze time so he’d stop growing. Then I experience the next stage and realize it’s just as good.

The first year flew by, and we’re looking forward to what year numero dos has in store.

One year is a big milestone, and Little Dude celebrated in style by becoming a full-time walker on the big day. He has been practicing little by little over the past couple weeks, but Sunday was the day he committed to it.

And not just walking. The Boy is throwing like a champ…and kicking! For real. Kicking. A ball!

Brought a tear to the Dude’s eye to see some soccer coming out of him. I’m hoping we can sign his first contract by his second bday.

Here’s a highlight reel of the birthday weekend. What better way to celebrated than highlights of a one year old walking and a classic Footloose song?

Although, I’ll warn you that it may drag on a bit for anyone that is not his Mom and Dad…but it’s fun for us to see ALL of the first steps. However, if you find that your bored, skip ahead to the 2:50 mark. Soccer skills on a one year old are pretty entertaining.

Happy birthday Little Dude. We love you.

Won’t You Be My Neighbor?

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The internet is full of urban legends and conspiracy theories.

Ever heard the one about Mr. Rogers being a tattooed military sniper with a number of confirmed kills? Yep, that’s an urban legend floating around the tubes of the interwebs.

Luckily the internet giveth and taketh away. It’s a feeding ground for rumors, but also for debunking rumors. Enter Snopes.com; the internet’s rumor clearing house.

Snopes confirms that Mr. Rogers was indeed a mild mannered, aged gentleman with no military background. Another victory for the power of the internet.

I’ve been slowly turning our yard into a garden oasis for the past couple years. I’m not sure Mrs. Dude would describe it with those words, but “garden oasis” is how it appears in my mind.

As part of my ongoing garden research, I started following a blog titled “The Archdruid Report.” I have no idea how I found it, but it’s interested me enough to keep me hooked for a few months. Mainly because the author has an extensive background in the conservation movement of the seventies and shares great gardening projects.

But as I’ve read the author’s work, it’s become clear that he holds some drastic opinions. Opinions about where our culture and our world are heading. These opinions center around the author’s belief in the fact that the world has passed the point of “peak oil.” As a result, there are an endless list of problems facing the world, and a significant level of distrust for the powers-that-be that have their own interests in mind.

These strong beliefs have benefited me by motivating the author to share his opinions and conservation techniques on the blank canvas of the internet, but how accurate are the beliefs? Where’s Snopes when you need it?!

The Dude has his own opinions on the direction of modern culture, but I haven’t taken the time to form an opinion on peak oil. I’ll admit it is an interesting topic, but there’s no easy answer…at least not with the incomplete information governments are willing to share and the “spin”that inevitably pours from political and big business cake holes. I’m sure science could form an educated opinion, but good luck avoiding political and big business influence to get to that opinion.

It’s a subject that I’ve consciously avoided. So I read the blog for it’s gardening and conservation tips, and it is well worth the time. But the author is a good writer, and his opinions seem well-informed. It’s difficult to remain entirely uninfluenced.

But last week I came across this article from Popular Science that reminds me to keep an open mind. Based on my Wikipedia research, Popular Science is a pretty well respected science publication.  It’s no Snopes.com, but at least worth considering.

So, oil not made from dead dinos?! Sweet education system. Seems like we learn a lot of “facts” during our educational indoctrination, but I’m not sure we understand the definition of “facts.” Facts should be absolutes, right? Especially when the entire world seems to be built upon those “facts”?…i.e. petroleum and it’s limited availability.

The world is too much of a mystery. The Dude is sticking to his gardening.

I’m not going to buy the peak oil he’s selling, but I dig his gardening tips (ah, great pun!); the Archdruid says birds are good for the garden. Tree swallows to be specific. They eat flying insects.

Seems like a good idea to me. A great opportunity for a little DIY project and some added wildlife to the oasis.

I consulted a couple websites for design, and away we go….

Come on trees swallows, won’t you be my neighbor?

Hard to Say Goodbye

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Winter Beard - Final

Winter Beard - Final

After four and a half months, it was time to part ways. We made it through a lot together, but it had to end at some point.

When we flipped the seasonal script to Spring a couple weeks ago, the winter beard came off. It’s tough to destroy a creation I worked on for so long, but it’s kind of liberating. That thing was a beast.

It was the biggest beard I’ve had, and it was pretty sweet, but the Dude is ready for some spring.  I’m ready for warm days, veggies growing in the garden, and surf with something lighter than a lead suit.

Luckily Mrs. Dude surprised me with a great photo session to memorialize Winter Beard 2011. Don’t worry my Dad has a beard…awesome!

But before we sign off, take it away Boyz II Men…

What if the World was Made of Pudding?

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Life is full of deep questions.

We go through our days acting like we have it all figured out.  Simply tune into 24-hour news station to hear experts being experty…O’reilly anyone?

But that’s just an extreme example. We all do it. Everyday, all day. That’s how we get through life. Fake it until we make it.

Parenting is nothing but faking it until we make it. Bachelor Dude was not much different from Daddy Dude. Sure, we lived a somewhat different daily existence, but down deep, we’re the same dude. But one day I woke up and I was a Dad, and the the parental faking began. My parents did it before me, and their’s before them. That’s how we exist. We experience, and we learn from our experiences.

However, the rub is that down deep, we really don’t know…about anything. We can act like we are the best parents in the world, but we’re just making it up as we go. We’re ok given our conditions, but no one has the answers. In the same way that no corporation is the perfect corporation, no government is the perfect government, no country the perfect country. We need to be careful of the “experts” we put our faith in.

We let our experty faking abilities cloud the reality that regardless of how much we have advanced as a civilization (mind you many civilizations have advanced quite well before us), we are still very far from understanding the most essential mysteries of life. We are easily consumed by our daily activities, but if we take the time to ponder the biggest of the big pictures, it is easy to see we are clueless.

Which isn’t a bad thing. In fact, it’s a great thing. Acknowledging the unknown creates so much opportunity. It allows us to drop our minor worries (that often seem major) and focus our attention on priorities. Cheesy, yes…but life, love, family, happiness, community. All of the really fun, warm words that bring us closer to each other.

Where is my rabbit hole of ramblings leading us?

Mrs. Dude and I battle over bugs. Mrs. Dude is very anti-bug in the house….especially spiders. Not that I’m pro-bug in the house, but the Dude generally abides. I’m not overly concerned about a spider.

Mrs. Dude used to squeal an ax-murder scream and expect the Dude to ride in on his white horse to save her every time a bug was encountered. Then reality set in. I don’t kill bugs. I catch them and put them outside. And most of the time I don’t catch them well, so they generally escape.

I’m not worried about it. I’m not bothering the bug; I don’t expect them to bother me. This philosophy doesn’t sit well with Mrs. Dude.

Reluctantly, she has accepted me for who I am. She now kills her own bugs…and leaves them for me to clean up.

But the deep questions still linger in my mind. While I am now just the janitor that scoops up the kill, I’m still involved in the process. It makes me wonder where we draw these arbitrary lines.

If I’m confused, my kids must be as well. Should I just fake it until I make it? Ignore my ignorance of the answers to life’s deeper questions?

So, the ramblings lead us here, to this video. I came across this video today, and I was going to share it with Mrs. Dude so she’ll know what I’m singing to her every time she requests that I clean up a dead bug, but then I figured a quick blog post would be in order. Now 45 minutes and 10 paragraphs later I’m finally getting to the video.

Seriously, what if the world was made of pudding?

King of Naps

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King of Naps

King of Naps

Here’s a link to a recent article about how taking naps promotes our ability to learn. This is the most recent study in a long list of studies that say that naps are the bees knees. Yeah, that cool.

Naps are amazing. For real, amazing. But naps aren’t as easy as one may think. There are many types of naps, and every nap is unique based on the conditions and the nap time goals. This is not the proper time for me to share all of my napping knowledge (sweet alliteration), but it’s safe to say that quality napping requires committed practice.

I’ve been refining my napping skills for years. And I think it’s time for me to take my napping to the next level. I’ve done my research (i.e. a one minute Google search), and it dawned on me that the napping community lacks a meaningless figurehead with absolutely no power and a pointless title. And I think I’m just the person to fill this made-up-by-me incredibly unimportant position.

I do hereby declare to the world (i.e. the internet) that the Dude is from here forth the self-proclaimed King of Naps!

Howard Stern did it for media. I think the Dude can do it for naps.

Not only is the Dude an ordained Dudeist Priest, and a dishwasher loading wizard, but now, also the King of Naps. I’m adding some serious credentials (i.e. letters) to the end of my name: The Dude, O.D.P., D.L.W., & K.o.N.

Enough typing…I need a nap. Sleep on my napping subjects.

PS – Don’t worry. That’s an old photo. The beard is still intact. Beard update in the near future.

Anything You Say Can & Will Be Used Against You

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Princess - Celts

Princess - Celts

There should be a Miranda Warning for parents.

Undoubtedly, anything you say can and will be used against you…by the kids.

Usually The Princess clears her plate after dinner, but the other night I offered to clear it for her. As I turned to walk away, I heard…

Princess:  “While you’re doing the job, take this with you.”  As she held her empty juice box up to me.

Dude:  Laughs.

Princess:  “That’s what you do to me.”

So true.

PS – Go Celts!

Ask and You Shall Receive. A Response Video to Jorge & Alexa’s “Home” Video

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Caution:  This isn’t much of a response video.

When the fans speak, the Dude listens. After the Behind the Curve post, we were so flooded with fan requests for the Princess to make a video (all 2 of them), that we felt we owed it to our loyal readers to come up with something.  Well, that and the events unfolded serendipitously so all the Dude had to do was point and click. No effort, my favorite type of work.

However, prior to jumping into the video, I want to mention the Jorge and Alexa video again. I didn’t mention this in the last post, but their back-story is interesting. Based solely on the 30 seconds I spent on their Facebook page, it seems Jorge is a 24 year old, single father of two young girls (at least one of which loves to sing), working his way through college.

The video has a good story too. After 9 or 10 practice runs with a mic that ended up being turned off the entire time, at 11 PM they were both ready to hit the hay, but gave one last run at it with the mic on. Clearly it worked.

It’s a great rendition of a great song. There are a few pieces of the video that stand out for me. Alexa’s fake whistle around 1:35 is great, and her question, “One day I’m going to whistle?” was timed perfectly and seemed spontaneous. The stifled yawn at about 2:30 is perfect, and definitely shows it was the end of the night. But I guess most importantly, even in a short video, a strong father-daughter bond seems to come across.

Was this the breakout weekend for this song everywhere, or just in our world? It’s been around for a while, so I have to guess it was just our world. Like when you buy a new car you start to see the same cars all over the road. It was popping up everywhere we turned. Radio, Facebook, email, Pandora. The Princess can’t stop singing it.  Which I guess leads us to our “response” video.

The Dude doesn’t have the same musical acumen that it appears Jorge has. At least not yet. I’d love to learn the guitar, but I’ve been stuck trying to teach myself the harmonica for the past five years. And judging by that progress, learning the first verse of Home would probably take me another 3 years. So, I probably won’t be performing anytime soon. I only make a small cameo, from the waist down, with some poor bongo banging. But the Princess is building her stage presence.

I was feeding the dogs when I noticed The Princess was jamming on the bongo and singing. The camera was close by, so I grabbed it. I tried to catch her without her noticing.  It was a bad angle and she noticed, so I moved in for a closer look. Most of her quiet singing is drowned out by the bongo. She starts out singing this country song. But as she’s playing, Home randomly comes on Mrs. Dude’s Phoenix mix on Pandora. (Go Mrs. Dude. Nice selection. Quality musical taste; another item on the long list of “I love you’s.”)

So, we seize the moment and poorly sing along with song…kind of.  But not really because the Princess knows about three words…and the bongo is loud. In the end, The Princess poorly lipsync’s the song and ends up licking a microphone.

All in all, an unremarkable response to a remarkable video.

Enjoy.