Love Me Today: The Significance of Small Moments & Great-Grandmother-in-Laws

stargazingIf you’re ever going to love me love me now, while I can know
All the sweet and tender feelings which from real affection flow.
Love me now, while I am living; do not wait till I am gone
And then chisel it in marble — warm love words on ice-cold stone.

I’m not often choked up.

Or at least, that’s what I tell myself.

As life progresses, I realize my rough exterior is pierced more often than I’d like to admit. Not by sadness, but by life’s significance. The significance of all the small details, small moments.

2017 has claimed my lovely bride’s two Grandmothers. As a result, the fam has experienced two memorial services for Great Grandmothers in the past month.

Neither a surprise. Both an opportunity to reflect.

Both remembered for strength and grace.

The above poem was read at yesterday’s memorial service. A great sum of my feelings on loss and funerals.

Let the ones you love, know you love them. Now.

One of life’s many lessons: be present, aware, with a focus on Now.

But our everyday life pulls us to the opposite poll – rushed, stressed, focused on the past AND the future.

The Now requires a focused effort…Easier said than done.

I practiced my best focused effort during yesterday’s service. I related to the poem, spent time with family and reflected on the kind words.

I was surprised by a familiar twinge of emotion starting in the chest and pushing towards the eye – a tear threatening to escape.

Not because of sadness – I hope I showed love when I had the chance. It was the significance that bit so hard.

As we age, life seems more significant. In reality, we’re just more aware of the significance that has been there all along.

Great-Grandmother-in-Laws have impacted me more than I could ever imagine.

They opened their hearts, their homes, and their families. They accepted me unconditionally and trusted me with their lineage.

These moments may seem small, but the significance cannot be overstated. This kindness, this love will carry on for generations. They are in our veins and they are in our actions. I see their love in my family every day.

I know I say the words, but I’m not sure I’ve understood the significance.

Saying I love you is easy (important, but easy).

Recognizing the significance of this moment is hard.

A memorial is a great reminder. But the opportunity is Now.

A Saturday night stargazing and a Sunday morning lounging with Curious George may seem simple, normal. But the significance is hidden by the normal.

Last night’s stars were extra bright, and the hugs this morning are extra sweet.

With the right focus, perhaps I can capture more of the significance life has to offer – the people, relationships, and love that can be lost in the everyday hustle.

Pay attention to the small details and the significance of each moment.

When they are gone, they are gone. Love me today.

Thank you Mimi and Granny. We love you.

 

Still Time to Score for Valentine’s Day [More Importantly, XOXO on the Reg]

There’s only a couple rules we live by in the Dude casa.

  1. Never break a promise: Trust is important
  2. Always give a kiss goodnight…

You can’t get today back. Make sure the peeps you love, know it.

  • “I hope they know how much I love them.”
  • “I wish I had a chance to say I love you.”

Such simple regrets to avoid.

Don’t wait for the next holiday to say I love you and share a good night kiss.

Today’s the day.

Holidays? Gifts?

Meh.

Make every day the right day to share a special moment.

With that said, I love love. Any reason for an extra squeeze is good by me.

It’s a week away, but you still have time to score for Valentine’s Day. Here’s how…

You’re welcome.

12 Tips for Fatherhood Awesomeness

Little Dude - Before THE Haircut

Little Dude – Before THE Haircut

Short, but sweet.

I’d like to think I have a firm grasp on the majority of these tips, but some great reminders never hurt.

12 Tips for being a radical dad [from LifeHack]…

  1. Give ’em some love.
  2. Spend time with the rug rats.
  3. Show up at the big game/recital.
  4. Show the kids things you dig.
  5. Talk to them.
  6. Reading is always cool.
  7. Be grateful. And show it.
  8. Play.
  9. Treat everyone with respect and kindness.
  10. Smile.
  11. Pursue your bliss.
  12. Never too many “I love you’s”

Nap Update: Yep, They Still Rock.

Dude Hearts NapsAs the self-professed King of Naps, I feel it’s my duty to share a regular dose of nap awesomeness.

  1.  How Naps Affect Your Brain & Why You Should Have One Every Day: Improve memory & learning; avoid burnout. And my favorite tip from the article, “Practice.”  
  2. Five Reasons You Should Take a Nap Every Day: Energy, Memory Boost, Taking a Break, Refocusing, Less Stress
  3. Nap On the Go: I recently shared an upgrade to the classic beer koozy: Freaker. And now, an upgrade to the travel pillow?! Nap Anywhereis a sweet, sweet way to score a nap with no traveler’s neck pain. Not a pillow, just pure nap awesomeness…[vimeo]http://vimeo.com/58940816[/vimeo]

Bonus:

On the flip side of enjoying a regular afternoon nap session, the joys and benefits of getting up insanely early. To balance out my afternoon nap, I’ve been rocking a 5:30 AM eyes open time for the past year. I’m digging it. 

Real Life Hot Wheels! Little Dude Is In Love

Little Dude Car Love

Little Dude Car Love

Little Dude LOVES cars.

I had a plethora of Matchbox and/or Hot Wheels when the Dude was a youngin’, but I don’t think my love ran as deep as Little Dude’s.

Cars are a constant. The movie, the toys, clothes, tooth brush & tooth paste…he even digs NASCAR! He travels everywhere with a handful of cars. His current favorite is Light Queen (i.e. Lightning McQueen) and Monsta (i.e. a monster truck). But the favorites change by the hour.

It’s awesome to see his love of life taking shape. Regardless of what anyone else thinks, Little Dude knows what he loves – luckily, the Dude is still high on that love list.

So, when I saw these real life Hot Wheels doing loops, I knew I had to spread the car love…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c6PQ49B5Gpw&feature=plcp[/youtube]

Do You Realize?

I’ve been thinking about this post for a while. I guess on some level, it’s been knocking around the Dude’s noggin for years.

On September 5th my Grandmother passed away.

Grandma, Gram, Greatma. The Dude’s Mom’s Mom. The absolute epitome of a Grandmother.

Here we are 20 days later, and I’m just now getting around to putting pen to pad…or keystroke to keyboard. I can’t really explain my slow pace for turning this post around. I guess a life with kids is always an excuse, but that’s not really what held me up. It was more of a reluctance.

A reluctance to move on, a reluctance to face the closure, a reluctance to work through the feelings of mourning, a reluctance to let one of the last pieces of childhood fade away? Probably all of the above, but also a reluctance to the idea of my post not living up to  the amazing person that Gram is (she’ll always be in my heart, so I’m sticking with is rather than was).

The Dude has been blessed with some amazing genes. If my Grandparents are any sign of what’s to come, then Mrs. Dude is stuck with me for a long time. Gram passed away a month and a half before her 92nd birthday, and her amazing husband, Pop, is still watching the Yankees and doing his daily crossword puzzle  at the ripe age of 94.

92 years of life is amazing, and beyond just surviving for such a long period of time, Gram shared an infectious love with everyone she met for those 92 years. She had four children, 10 grandchildren, and eight great grandchildren. She definitely left a legacy, but that legacy is much more than the number of her offspring.

By the time someone you love reaches 92, it’s a safe bet that thoughts of their passing have crossed your mind. So, I’ve had time to ponder the importance that Gram holds for me. And it is a deep, down to my core, type of importance. But it is never fully understood until it is a reality. When that phone call comes, and that expected, yet dreaded, news is passed through the family.

I’ve had twenty days to let the reality sink in, and Gram’s importance to me grows everyday. But I’ve moved beyond my reluctance to falling short. I know my writing can never live up to the person that Martha Louise Olsen is. Words can’t capture how special she is and how she could warm people’s hearts by just being herself.

There are endless examples and stories to tell. We relived great memories when we celebrated her life at the funeral. Tea parties, surprises under our pillows, singing around the Christmas tree, tennis camp, hours spent traveling to soccer games, our favorite desserts. But to me, Gram’s lasting significance was as simple as it could be, love…and lots of it.

Gram always had a smile to share and never had a bad word for anyone. She was a fighter for what she believed in, but she would fight in the absolute most loving way. I never once heard a complaint, saw an angry face, or witnessed even the slightest mean-spirited action. Family was always the top priority, but her love stretched way beyond the family tree. Her love was all inclusive. And her husband, Pop, was the man she loved the most until the final breath of air.

I am who I am, on so many levels, because of Gram’s love. I am the husband, father, and person that I am because of the lessons that Gram passed on to me. And the brilliance of it all is the Gram never once “taught” me a lesson. She passed on everything I needed to know to live a good life and be a good person by just being who she was. Her love infected me from day one, and it will never let me go.

As I’ve pondered the passing of people I love over the years, I’ve had a song by the Flaming Lips that sticks with me. There are a lot of nice thoughts in the song, but one that stands out, and is fitting for this particular moment goes like this:

Do You Realize – that everyone you know someday will die
And instead of saying all of your goodbyes – let them know
You realize that life goes fast
It’s hard to make the good things last

We’ll all be moving to the great unknown someday, but while we’re here, the most important thing we can do is share our love and let the people who are important to us know how much we care for them. When they are gone, they’re gone. I can’t tell Gram that I love her today, but I know beyond a shadow of a doubt how much she loved me and she knows how much I love her.

The Dude family is basking in this love as well. We don’t let a day pass without saying those three magic words…many times. 🙂 It’s hard to make the good things last, so enjoy them while they are here, let them know how special they are…and fight like hell to keep them close.

Before I share the great Flaming Lips tune, I want to share a Bible verse. Stop choking, yes, a Bible verse. I believe this is the first time the Dude has quoted the Bible; not sure if/when it will happen again, so enjoy. This is a verse from Gram’s funeral service, and it captures Gram’s essence and her enduring lesson…plus, it uses the word “abide”…as in The Dude abides.

1 Corinthians 13
Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends…And now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; and the greatest of these is love.

Can I get an amen?!

And now on to the Flaming Lips, but before I go, I’ll sign off as I always do with Gram; “I love you Gram.”

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ETI72zGyzZI&feature=related[/youtube]

Daily Pixels: Graffiti

Art is in the eye of the beholder.

Based on the legal status of graffiti, I’d venture to say the general public is not a fan.

I’ll admit that there’s a large percentage of graffiti that’s unsightly, but on the whole, the Dude and the Mrs. fall into the fan category.

It’s great to see a landscape broken by an unexpected burst of art.  I dig a colorful explosion, even if it’s illegible like many graffiti pieces.  But the Dude has a soft-spot for a little vandalism with a twist of social commentary, like Banksy.

Banksy - Flowers for the Princess?

Banksy - Flowers for the Princess?

Banksy - TSA?

Banksy - TSA?

However, I’ve never been on the receiving end of graffiti…until yesterday.

A few weeks ago, I mentioned that Rex and I spent 12+ hours building a new set of front stairs.  Back breaking work.

And yesterday, these new stairs were vandalized!

But if it’s great art, with a great message, should the graffiti be considered a gift?

The next Banksy?

Next Banksy?