Life Lessons from the End: What can Aging & Death Teach Us?

Considering the recent post about my Grandfather, this seems like a good time to share some life lessons from the end of a life well lived.

We push through our daily lives struggling, clawing, fighting for…????

We are continually distracted by all of the things we think we need to do. Places to be. People to impress.

In the end, what really matters?

  1. Marcus Aurelius on Mortality & the Key to Living Fully – Brain Pickings: Marcus Aurelius’ Meditations is an all-time classic. Sits on the table next to my bed. A few thoughts on the end of a life well lived…
    1. Just that you do the right thing. The rest doesn’t matter.
      Cold or warm.
      Tired or well-rested.
      Despised or honored.
      Dying … or busy with other assignments.Because dying, too, is one of our assignments in life. There as well: “to do what needs doing.”
  2. Top 5 Regrets of the Dying – Guardian:
    1. I wish I’d had the courage to live the life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
    2. I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.
    3. I wish I had the courage to express my feelings.
    4. I wish I had let myself be happier.
  3. What Can a Man Lear from His Grandparents –  Art of Manliness: You have their genetics. They are you. You are they. Learn from their…
    1. Work.
    2. Idiosyncrasies.
    3. Gifts to you.
    4. Activities with you.
    5. Strengths.
    6. Aging.
    7. Legacies.
  4. 7 Questions You Will Ask at the End of Your Life – Marc & Angel:
    1. Am I proud of how I lived?
    2. What did I discover?
    3. How well did I play the hand I was dealt?
    4. Did I take enough responsibility?
    5. What struggles did I conquer?
    6. How sincerely did I live through love?
    7. How much of my story did I actually write?
  5. 25 Life Lessons from a 100-Year-Old: Here are my top 5…
    1. Always maintain a good sense of humor.
    2. Your family is the most precious thing you will ever have in life.
    3. Education is important, but not necessary. Life can be an education in itself.
    4. Explore your world and stay curious.
    5. Life is a gift that you must unwrap. It’s up to you to determine if what’s inside will lead you to happiness or dismay. You have the power to make that decision for yourself.

The Death of My 99-Year-Old Grandfather Made Me a Better Person [Lead by Example & Choose Your Examples Wisely]

That is what love is made of...

That is what love is made of…

My Grandfather passed away last week. 99!

Actually, 98 and 337 days…28 days shy of 99. I’ll round up.

One heck of a run.

Here’s what our train ride looked like to/from the funeral…

 

2 1/2 year old in car seat for 12 hours or the train for 12 hours? Neither.

A whirlwind of travel misery and death.

And profound life lessons.

A little background on the legend that is Pop-Pop…

  • December 5, 1916 – November 7, 2015
  • Lt. Colonel in the U.S. Marine Corps
  • Four children, 10 grandchildren, 12 great-grandchildren.
  • Didn’t swear, smoke or drink.
    • The only drink he ever ordered was when he proposed to his lovely bride – Grandma, at Rockefeller Center. He ordered a whiskey sour, and “if you look there now, the full glass is still sitting there.”

Pop was an awesome dude. Cheerful. Kind. Always there with a joke and a smile. The most steadfast and consistent person I’ve ever met. If he said it, you know you could count on it.

He expected a lot out of you. But he didn’t make demands. He led with his actions, and you knew to follow suit.

He would say things like…

  • If it’s worth doing, it’s worth doing right.
  • The Marines have landed and the situation is well at hand.
  • The difficult we do immediately. The impossible takes a little longer.

Before giving a reading at the funeral (verse below), I said…

Pop is an amazing person. I’m honored to be up here. Gram and Pop are the example I live by every day.

Love you Gram

Love you Gram

With the passing of Gram and Pop, I’m left with the realization that I am now responsible for carrying on that example. Their legacy.

A bit cliché, but real.

It’s easy for examples to fade away. It’s difficult to choose the right examples. And even more difficult to follow that example.

When the end is in the future, examples remain examples. Ideals. When the end arrives, those ideals must be carried on. Or fade fast.

I’ve chosen the best possible example, and now it’s my turn to lead in the same way.

  • Always a smile to share.
  • Never a bad word for anyone.
  • A fighter for what I believe, but fight in the most loving way.
  • No complaints, angry faces, or mean-spirited actions.
  • Family is always the top priority, but love is all inclusive.

I am who I am, on so many levels, because of Gram and Pop’s love. I am the husband, father, and person that I am because of the lessons they passed on to me.

The brilliance of it all is Gram and Pop never once “taught” me a lesson. They passed on everything I need to know to live a good life and be a good person by just being themselves.

I am their legacy.

I wrote an essay for my college application about my Grandfather. I closed with…

I hope to make my Grandfather as proud of me as I am of him. 

20 years later, this is more important than ever.

The ideals that Gram and Pop lived by are in my hands. Their lessons live on through my actions.

An immediate jolt to responsibility.

I am a better person because Pop was in my life. The best example I’ve ever met.

Love you Pop. You will be missed. But your  legacy is safe with me.

1 Corinthians 13

Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends…And now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; and the greatest of these is love.

You Should be Listening to Podcasts [Awesome Recommendations to Get You Started]

A monotone voice drones from the worn-out speakers.

Wa wa, wa wa wa…

Miles of road ahead.

Grandpa at the wheel.

Glazed eyes of bored youth melt into the faux wood paneling of the giant Buick.

Ever been trapped by talk radio?

It’s the pits.

Podcasts are NOT your grandpa’s talk radio.

Podcasts are the next wave in media consumption. And you need to tune in. Yesterday.

Blogs are rad. Social media has some nifty perks. But podcasts are where the cool is headed.

Free format. No rules. A niche for every interest. All sorts of unknown talent.

In the past couple years podcasts have moved from fringe to mainstream. With the best yet to come.

Ditch mass media. Control your consumption.

Podcasts are time well spent.

But where to start?

The Dude’s Top 10 Podcast Recommendations

  1. The Tim Ferriss Show: Awesome guests. Great questions. Amazing ideas to improve. The only podcast I can say I’ve listened to every episode.
  2. Hardcore History: History is boring, right? No way – not with Dan Carlin leading the charge. Could be the best podcast out there. Start with the Wrath of the Khans series…you will gladly listen to 7+ hours of history!
  3. Serial: It’s been talked about a lot. Perhaps the podcast that pushed towards the mainstream the most. Awesomeness abounds.
  4. The Moth: Listening to amateurs tell real stories without notes is amazingly captivating – funny, sad, honest.
  5. This American Life: Longtime public radio show turned podcast. The Moth + Serial. Real life stories with professional journalism.
  6. Death, Sex & Money: Great topics, interesting people, endearing interviews.
  7. StartUp: Listen to a podcast startup business…start up. Connections to This American Life, Serial, and other great podcasts…
  8. Reply All: StartUp’s first off-shoot podcast. You didn’t know the Internet was this interesting.
  9. Bulletproof Radio: I’ve chatted Bulletproof in the past. Great info on cutting-edge health ideas.
  10. Psychedelic Salon: Looking for out-there ideas? This is a great place to start. The first podcast I listened to 3+ years ago. Podcasts were definitely fringe. A grandfather sharing psychedelic ideas – mostly Terrence McKenna.

Podcast Recommendations from Around the Interwebs