Dudeist Priest Resume Grows – Wedding Two in the Books : New Wedding Script & a Primer on NC Dudeist Officiant Legality

A short five years ago I officiated my first wedding. As a Dudeist Priest no less.

I checked that box on the bucket list. Figured my Reverend status was retired.

Like Jordan coming back from baseball, it turns out my services were still needed.

I was honored to be asked to marry my bro-in-law and his lovely new bride.

A couple weeks ago we enjoyed a beautiful Saturday evening backyard wedding. A smashing success, if I do say so myself.

Check out my updated Dudeist Priest wedding script below.

I also did a bit of research to confirm the legality of my officiant status in NC. As an added bonus, here’s a link to a great discussion of the NC legality on the Dudeist forum.

Go forth and marry, my dudes!

Dudeist Priest Wedding Script

Welcome 

Welcome friends and family. 

It’s a great pleasure to welcome everyone here to celebrate this special moment between XYXZ and ZYX. 

Who gives ZYX to be married to XYZ? 

(Thank you Dad and Mom – Dad, you may take your seat.)

(Flower dudet take flowers)

A marriage is not created by a law or a ceremony; rather it occurs in the hearts of two people.

In witnessing this ceremony today, we are observing the outward sign of an inward union that already exists between XYZ and ZYX.

This ceremony is a symbol of how far they have come, and their promise to continue to build their lives together. 

There are only two official witnesses at a wedding, but each and every person here today will witness the vows XYZ and ZYX will share with each other. 

We should take good care to remember these words; for a marriage needs the love and support of a community of friends and family.  

Address 

Today XYZ and ZYX take the first steps on an exciting new journey. A journey that brings adventures, challenges, and moments of courage. 

Marriage brings two people together like nothing else; uniting two people who love each other unconditionally and with endless strength. 

XYZ and ZYX‘s relationship has grown into a love that brings out the best in each other, a care that knows no boundaries, and a dedication to taking on the world together. 

Marriage brings a new commitment. A commitment built on a strong foundation. It’s a promise that has existed in the way you support, appreciate, and encourage each other, long before today. 

Today marks the beginning of a new stage in your lives together, a moment that we are all honored to share with you. 

Wedding Vows 

Let us now hear the declarations and promises that XYZ and ZYX make to each other. 

XYZ, please take ZYX‘s hand and repeat after me. 

ZYX, today I give myself to you. 

I promise to Encourage and inspire you, 

To laugh with you

And to comfort you in times of sorrow and struggle. 

I promise to love you in good times and bad, 

When life seems easy and when it seems hard. 

When our love is simple, 

And when it is an effort. 

I promise to cherish you, 

And to always hold you in the highest regard. 

These promises I give to you today, 

And all the days of our life. 

ZYX, please repeat after me…. 

XYZ, today I give myself to you. 

I promise to Encourage and inspire you, 

To laugh with you 

And to comfort you in times of sorrow and struggle. 

I promise to love you in good times and bad, 

When life seems easy and when it seems hard. 

When our love is simple, 

And when it is an effort. 

I promise to cherish you, 

And to always hold you in the highest regard. 

These promises I give to you today, 

And all the days of our life. 

Declaration of Intent 

XYZ, will you take ZYX to be your partner through life? Will you love her, protect her, and spend your days in laughter together forever? 

(I do.)

ZYX, will you take XYZ to be your partner through life? Will you love him, protect him, and spend your days in laughter together forever? 

(I do.)

Exchanging of Rings 

(Little Dude give rings)

XYZ and ZYX, these rings are a physical representation of the love and commitment you share. 

May you be forever reminded of this moment and the joy that fills the air for the rest of your lives.

XYZ please place the ring on your ZYX’s finger and repeat after me…. 

I give you this ring 

to symbolize the continuous flow of my love.

Together we are united, 

unstoppable, 

and unbreakable, 

today and for all of our days. 

ZYX please place the ring on XYZ’s finger and repeat after me… 

I give you this ring 

to symbolize the continuous flow of my love.

Together we are united, 

unstoppable, 

and unbreakable, 

today and for all of our days. 

Declaration of Marriage

XYZ and ZYX, no one but you can declare yourselves married. 

You have begun that declaration here today in speaking your vows before your friends and family, and you will do it again in the days and years to come, standing by each other, sharing your lives together. 

Each tender act and each loving word will be the declaration of what was made here today.

It is my joyful responsibility to officially acknowledge your union as “Husband and Wife”. You may now seal your marriage with a kiss.

Ladies and Gentlemen, it is my privilege to present to you for the first time as husband and wife, Mr. and Mrs. XYZ.

 

Order of Essenes: Book 5 [Common Sense Secrets to Success]

Occam’s Razor discusses the idea that the simplest of explanations is usually the most accurate.

I like simple.

Simple often seems to lead to common sense. Intuition.

Like Wu Wei.

Order of Essenes: Book 5 shares some secrets to success that will feel simple. Common sense. Intuitively correct.

And a fun experiment at the end.

Enjoy.

Effort

Every effort in this world contains within it the seed of a just reward. Every thought and every act is cause at work; an effect is inevitable.

No effort is ever lost in the universe and that makes the law of giving operative.

Appreciation

Your start comes from expressing admiration. Such is the power of sincere appreciation and the expression of gratitude. Such a little thing and yet so powerful.

Common Sense

Common sense is a central sense, toward which all impressions converge and unite in one sentiment—the desire for the truth. People of common sense love directness and simplicity, and ever seek to reduce complications and problems to simples, knowing the world is made up of simples. Common sense is the art of resolving questions.

Don’t Quit

DON’T QUIT when things go wrong. When the road you’re trudging seems all up-hill, when funds are low and the debts are high, and you want to smile but you have to sigh, when care is pressing you down a bit.

Rest if you must, but don’t you quit.

Many failures turn about, when he might have won had he stuck it out.

Who are you?

How vitally important it is to learn that you are an unchanging you.

Grasp the idea that the body is just a garment and not the real you. Realize that your functioning mind that receives the messages of the senses, is an instrument for you to use, and is not the you. Your personality is your character role in the play going on, and not you.

Your success and happiness will form in the infinite and begin to manifest the moment you do.

Personality vs. Character vs. You

Your personality is the outward reflection of your moods—your feelings. your thoughts, your commands to your physical instruments.

Personality is one thing, and character another;

Your personality is what you appear to be. Your character is the sum total of real qualities.

You cannot say that the real you is your character. Character changes.

Secret to success!

The secret of success is to deserve success.

Health

It is perfectly natural for all persons to desire health because health creates confidence and gives assurance; it is the foundation of hope and faith; it gives one courage and banishes fear; health is itself energy and force; happiness and success are its twin children.

The ideal of health that each should have is not merely to be free of pain and disease but a health surplus, a reserve in the physical bank. Abounding health makes the eye sparkle, the step buoyant; one has the feeling of vim, vigor, and vitality; it is a quality of the body that radiates; there is an inner sense of joy and gladness.

Health is the first wealth. Personal magnetism is largely a matter of health. The spendthrift of health is the most foolish and reckless of all spendthrifts.

Illness

The creative, restorative, renewing, rejuvenating principle, the life principle is within every one of us.

A serious illness should be regarded as an opportunity to gather dividends, and create energies, that in health were not possible. Like any major experience, illness actually changes us.

An inner liveliness, illuminating the spirit and features of those who have learned to look upon illness as a challenge that must be met with hope and courage. If you have never been sick, never lost so much as a day in bed—then you have missed something!

Power of Thoughts

Every cell in the body gets an impulse from every thought in the mind. Your condition is therefore your thoughts objectified or out-pictured.

Guard well, therefore, the wellspring of life against the poisons of worry thoughts, fear thoughts, anger, revenge, or self-pity. All phases of fear and anxiety contract the blood vessels and impede the free circulation of the blood.

Thinking requires concentration, and when one perfects concentration and shutting out thoughts, and can meditate and accept back from the subconscious the great within, the answer to life’s problems, one has gone a long way on the road to health, happiness, and success. Every philosopher, every sage, every savior, got his thoughts, ideas, theories, philosophies only during a period of meditation, or concentration, or application, or silent uninterrupted study and thought.

We suggest that you find some time and someplace, where peace and quiet prevail. Concentration you may have to learn by degrees.

THOUGHT GEMS … 💎

  • A well-ordered life is like climbing a tower; the view half way up is better than the view from the base and it steadily becomes finer as the horizon expands.
  • It is good to dream but it is better to dream and work.
  • Faith is mighty but action with faith is mightier.
  • Desiring is helpful but work and desire are invincible.
  • Those with mediocre minds generally condemn and criticize everything they can’t understand.
  • Search as you may, you can find no evidence of a personal will operating in the universal-only changeless and unchangeable laws such is the “will of God.” If you would find the “Secret place of the “Most High,” the search must be within your own being. Within you is the shrine for resultful worship.

Instructions – Will:

In one simple sentence may be the conclusion from a life time of observation.

Concentration is one of the most marvelous forces that can be conceived. Without concentration, no success is possible.

Concentration develops all our senses and brings them to a degree of remarkable acuteness. He who succeeds in concentrating himself on a manual labor is certain to perform it with a minimum of fatigue, for he will be able to husband his strength, he will save himself from dissipating it in useless exertions, and he will concentrate all his faculties of attention, of calculation, of ingenuity, and of muscular power in order to succeed.

To think of an act which we are performing, to think of it alone, to concentrate everything and forget everything outside of it, there is the secret of so many successes, the explanation of so many good fortunes; the secret, also, of the immense influence which certain men exert over their fellows.

Walking is All the Rage – For Good Reason

“We should take wandering outdoor walks, so that the mind might be nourished and refreshed by the open air and deep breathing.” —Seneca, On Tranquility of Mind17.8

Synchronicity is pretty cool. Carl Jung was an interesting cat – another topic for another time.

The benefits/importance of walking regularly has come to my attention a number of times recently.

As an added bonus, the benefits of spending time outside, in nature, have been brought to my attention as well.

Synchronicity? Hmmm.

Worth a quick list of rad reasons to walk and be outside…

Order of Essenes: Book Four [Know Yourself & Power in Action + a Deep Self-Assessment]

New Thought is built on action and an understanding of your unique nature. Philosophy and ideals are important, but walking your unique Path leads towards success.

I dig the idea of taking control of what you can and letting go of what you can’t.

Flow.

Order of Essense: Book 4 hits hard on understanding your unique path and taking action. The self-assessment is deep.

  • Power is ability to produce change.
  • Mind is passive power; thought is active power.
  • All thought has a tendency to clothe itself in its physical equivalent.
  • Think straight and life will become straight for you.

THOUGHT GEMS 💎

  • The physical body contains mind in every part
  • Our thoughts are like roots that reach out in every direction into the ocean of energy around us.
  • Those thought roots set in motion vibrations like themselves and attract the affinities of our desires and ambitions.
  • How little we appreciate the marvelousness of this exquisite mechanism of the mind. It forms the connecting link between the created and the creator.
  • Our theology and our creeds have too much of seriousness and sadness – too little joy and gladness – too much of shadows and too little of sunshine – too much of the hereafter and too little of now—too solemn, too sad, too serious.
  • The whole world is engaged in the invisible commerce of thought.
  • Sincerity is a human trait that is hard to counterfeit. It comes from the soul of a man and not from the calculating mind.
  • The more thoroughly we are submerged in the world of superficial trivialities, the further we are removed in consciousness from the world of principle.
  • The hope of the nation is in the individual. Men are not equal, never have been, and so far as we can now determine never will be–so long as ambition enters into the measure of a man, and free will exists, there will be leaders and followers.
  • Success comes only from each man’s individual efforts wisely, swiftly, incessantly exerted.
  • Permanent power cannot be acquired by any artificial plan of leveling men.
  • Only as you stay close to nature’s plan of encouraging that which is best, can you reach supremacy.
  • The way to get things in this world is to make yourself worthy of them.
  • By giving you set in motion a law that brings returns
  • You can’t just think and change your condition. You must act, and act according to a plan.

Self-Assessment

No one can hope to get the best out of himself, no one can expect to be adjusted, to forge ahead to health, happiness and success, unless he knows himself inside and out.

Take pencil and paper and actually answer the following questions yes or no and grade yoursef. Partly yes or partly no. Don’t try to give yourself the best of it. Do this honestly and conscientiously; give yourself the worst of it, if you even hesitate in the answers.

  • Are you ambitious ————-… or indifferent
  • Are you always calm ——-Dr do you get nervous or worry
  • Have you courage —————–Or are you fearful
  • Are you always cheerful ……… or gloomy
  • Have you enthusiasm —-.. or just luke warm
  • Have you faith—–or suspicious
  • Are you honest ——-or dishonest
  • Have you hope —-or despair
  • Are you always just or unjust
  • Do you love or hate
  • Are you loyal —–or disloyal
  • Are you bold -or timid, bashful
  • Are you modest – or egotist
  • Are you optimistic —————. or pessimistic
  • Have you patience – or irritable
  • Are you polite —–or rude
  • Have you self esteem or conceit
  • Are you sympathetic or apathetic
  • Are you sincere ——— or deceitful
  • Are you tactful or brusque
  • Are you truthful —- or lie or exaggerate
  • Are you unselfish ———- or envious or jealous
  • Can you concentrate —- rr do you diffuse
  • Are you decisive or do you vacillate
  • Are you economical — ——-or wasteful
  • Are you firm——-or unstable
  • Are you industrious ———or slothful
  • Have you initiative —————or wait for others to start
  • Do you persevere ————–or give up easily
  • Are you punctual ————–or procrastinate
  • Have you self-control ——— or rash
  • Have you self-confidence —— or doubt your ability to perform
  • Are you thorough ————- or negligent
  • Do you think for yourself…… or depend on others
  • Do you reason ———— or go on your feelings
  • Are you always considerate…. or thoughtless
  • Do you exercise judgment or act on impulse
  • Are you physically clean or “go dirty.”
  • Do you know your job or are you excelled
  • Are you a good listener or interrupter
  • Are you forgiving or revengeful
  • Are you generous or stingy
  • Are you friendly or cold and indifferent
  • Are you lovable or hateful
  • Are you one person at home, different in company
  • Can you hold your temper or go in rages
  • Are your moods under your will or are you temperamental
  • Is your disposition good or bad
  • Do you talk clearly and distinctly or mumble
  • Is your voice soft or harsh
  • Are you careful of appearance or slovenly.
  • Do you gossip and talk about others
  • Do you thoroughly chew your food or gulp it
  • Do you eat until you feel stuffed or in moderation
  • Do you think more about getting or doing
  • Do you think and say kind things r critical in thinking
  • Do you dwell in present, past, or future
  • Have you any secret past you are always trying to cover up…
  • Have you had any terrible experiences that keep coming to mind
  • Do you remember any treatment of your childhood or early maturity that has been a load on your mind
  • Have you it in mind to get even with anyone
  • Do you think anyone is trying to do you an injury, get even with you, rob you, slander you or “do you dirty”
  • Is there anyone you are always suspecting of ulterior motive, envy, jealousy, etc.
  • Are you domineering-bossy, giving orders, or hard
  • Can you cooperate with others or do you prefer to “go it alone”
  • Have you a secret ambition you have never carried out – What have you ever done about it
  • Do you think you have any special talent or ability you have never had the opportunity to exercise
  • Do you think you are getting a square deal from your employer, if employed; if in business for yourself, do you think any competition is more successful than you by reason of unfair trade practices
  • If you are not succeeding, do you think any other person is to blame
  • Do you talk too much
  • For lack of English words to express yourself, do you use profanity, or slang, or too loud
  • Do you think your eyes, your face, or your manner give expression to your feelings
  • Do you think anyone loves you
  • Do you love anyone
  • Do you think the world owes you a living
  • Make a list of the things you fear
  • Make a list of the principal things you think about in an ordinary day
  • Set down about how many hours a day you sleep, work, read, play, or other things
  • Make a time schedule.
  • Do you love a budget system for income and spending
  • Do you express or show appreciation for anything that is done for you or that you receive
  • Do you take any physical exercises
  • Do you stand erect, throw back your shoulders, or stoop and slouch
  • Do you walk with firm step or shuffle or slouch along
  • Do you keep your eyes up when walking or down
  • When talking to anyone do you look at them or down away from them
  • Do you ever give any conscious thought to breathing deeply
  • Are you graceful or awkward
  • Do you sit erect or slouch over cramping your lungs
  • Do you know any game, art, trade, science, subject or tricks so well that you could instruct others so that they could become proficient in them?
  • Do you belong to any club, society, fraternal order, civic organization, trade organization, union, brotherhood or church or religious order?
  • Why did you join it –  for what you could get out of it or for what you could do in it
  • Do you take an active part
  • Do you ever say kind complimentary, or considerate things to friends or acquaintances or to others, when merited and you have it in your heart, or keep silent and neglect it for any reason; why
  • Are you touchy, easily embarrassed, self-conscious, often offended
  • Are you efficient in any particular line of endeavor
  • Do you excel in any game or sport
  • Have you any work you do as a pastime or as an avocation and outside of your vocation
  • Is your sense of sight good
  • Is your sense of hearing good
  • Is your sense of smell good
  • Is your sense of feeling good
  • Is your sense of taste good
  • Is your skin soft, flabby, firm
  • Do you observe things closely so you could describe them later
  • Do you do any reading connected with your work, business, or profession, such as trade journals, treatise on the subject, etc,
  • Do you ever get by yourself and meditate or concentrate on anything; what
  • Can you keep your mind on one subject, or does it wander
  • Do you know how to relax your muscles, and get limp, and relieve tenseness and tension
  • Are you a good neighbor
  • Are you a good citizen
  • Are you a good brother, sister, mother, father, friend
  • Put down anything else you can think of about yourself.

Order of Essenes: Book 3 [Self-Engineering]

We continue our review of lessons gleaned from the Order of Essenes.

Book three mentions the idea of “human engineering.” The entire Order of Essenes course is about self-improvements, but this is the first mention of the “human engineering” concept.

I dig it. I might modify to “self-engineering.”

Most of us haven’t graduated with an engineering degree, but we’re all engineers at heart. Will our constructs be strong and build us up, or are we building on a foundation of quick-sand that is pulling us down.

It’s your choice.

  • “The heights of great men reached and kept were ne’er attained by sudden flight, but they, while their companions slept, were toiling upward in the night,” are words of wisdom, the expression of a universal principle.
  • You understand that you have taken years to acquire your present accepted opinions, your habits of thoughts and action. Your condition physically and mentally is the result of your past. Your social and financial position is an effect of long-standing causes. Life Science is a study of causes, and how to motivate them – human engineering.
  • There are unlimited possibilities for you. You will soon come to appreciate this — When you do, a new day will dawn for you.
  • When Christ, who was an Essene, taught that “as you give, so shall you receive,” he was not talking religion; he was expounding a metaphysical law that always works. The time and thought that you give to this study cannot be lost. No effort is ever lost. Men are not rewarded nor punished for their deeds, but by them.
    • Get what you give. Simple, but not easy.
  • If on all occasions you express thankfulness, that giving has an appropriate reward for you in the cosmic universe. If in your work you give your very best efforts, that form of giving will be rewarded though you may not appreciate it at the moment. Each should be a stylist in his work.
  • This is a world of cause and effect, of action and reaction, of law, of perfect order.
  • It is the dominant trend of your secret thoughts that make or break your whole career, which beautify or mar your personality and which render you either radiant or repressive.
  • Therefore, be more careful of your thinking than you are of your money if you would safeguard the greater values.
  • One of the first principles to learn is that there can be no effect produced, without there being a cause back of it.
  • Take the lantern in the hand and you will always have light enough for your next step, no matter how dark, for the light will move along with you. Do not try to see a long way ahead.

History: Egypt, Order of Essenes, and Jesus

  • About fifteen hundred years B. C. Amenhotep III, Pharoah of Egypt, is known to have written certain philosophies, and deductions with respect to natural laws.
  • A society known as the Essenes, two centuries B. C., which was a secret order,
  • Jesus at the age of twelve was adopted by the order and therein He learned principles, philosophies, and the secrets of the order of the Essenes.
  • He became so enthused with the teachings, and saw in them such possibilities for the human race that he became possessed with the urge to give to the world this understanding, and began his ministry at the age of thirty…
  • There could be no question but that the 104th Psalm of the Bible was taken almost literally from the writings of this Pharoah 1500 years B. Ć.
  • What Jesus was trying to teach was that the life spark, the spirit, the soul, or whatever it is within man that is permanent, the you, is a part of the universal.
  • All religions are but aspects of the one truth.

Instructions – Eating:

I’m not following these suggestions at this point, but they are very interesting. There is a lot of discussion online about these food combining ideas.

  • Scientific combination of foods
  • Proteins don’t mix with starches – different digestive environments
  • There are certain foods which together form a harmonious combination, and require the same digestive juices, while others in combination conflict, and the digestive enzymes are ineffective because in opposition. Making up a general list of these we find that there are two classifications, one that we can call positive, and the other negative
  • Polarity is operative throughout all Nature, as we have seen, and its cardinal rule is: Likes repel and unlikes attract. So we find that two positives conflict if combined, thus the rule is not to combine any of the Protein list with any items of the Carbohydrate list, either of them will combine with items of the Negative list. Another Rule, is, not to combine Proteins with a concentrated oil or fat.
  • The simple way to understand this is to take the list of protein foods which will follow and call it group one (1), then, take the carbohydrates and mark it group two (2), and then, take the Neutrals and mark it group three (3). Then remember you can combine in one meal 1 and 3, or 2 and 3, but avoid so far as possible combining foods in groups one and two.
  • Avoid too many soft foods that are simply swallowed without being chewed and are therefore improperly prepared for treatment in the digestive tract.
  • Never eat when you are mentally disturbed and the negative ’emotions are aroused. Do not eat rapidly. Thoroughly chew what you eat. Do not wash down food with your drinks. Have your food reduced to almost liquid form by the chewing process. Immediately after eating do not engage in violent physical exercise
  • A safe rule. Each meal a few simple foods. A variety in the different meals. Don’t strive for great variety in a single meal.

Order of Essenes: Book 2 [Power of the Breath]

Order of Essenes

Order of Essenes

I introduced the Order of Essenes in the last post.

Book 2 doesn’t disappoint – wide-ranging advice that reads like it’s been passed down for generations and closes with a focus on the power of the breath.

  • Life is a search for power; and this is an element with which the earth is so saturated there is no chink or crevice in which it is not lodged — “no honest seeking goes unrewarded.”. All the power you can ever use exists and awaits your intelligent mastery.
  • To each is given the power to become a master builder in the temple of destiny but it is latent power and must first be discovered, then used.
  • Let us do our best to satisfy the hunger of the mind, to ascertain the secrets of nature, to the end that we may make the invisible forces of nature the servant of man and fill the land with happy homes.
  • Our mental attitude, our heart’s desire, is our perpetual prayer which nature answers. Heart prayers, not head prayers, are answered.
  • Give me the storm and tempest of thought and action rather than the dead calm of ignorance or cowardice.
  • When we are in tune, life lengthens, fear dies, joy de ens, love intensifies and the world is free.
  • “A Life Principle” Be not disappointed, if you find the so-called supernatural is in reality perfectly natural.
  • He who seeks to discover must first reduce himself into a kind of abstract idealism and must make way for the faculties which meditate and contemplate, and give rein to the faculty of imagination
  • In this world, there is neither chance nor caprice, neither magic nor miracle. Force is eternal. It can neither be created or destroyed.
  • An open mind is the one essential–the first step, the great necessity, and the forerunner of progress.
  • You have a higher self and all the while you have been thinking in terms of flesh and blood, and not as a center of consciousness, just clothed by a garment of flesh.
  • To get these powers into proper channels, to come into a realization that you not only possess them but can manifest – make use of them in, every situation and under all conditions, in the everyday affairs of life, is our objective,
  • And just as a preliminary training we suggest that whatever task you are engaged in, whatever thing you have before you to do, do it just the best you know how, not to please another, but to experience an inner satisfaction on awakening of unused power sources.

 Breathing:

  • After retiring each night and upon awakening and before you get up – lie prone (upon your back) then lift up or puff out the triangular space just below the sternum.
  • By “puff out’ we do not mean to breathe and puff out with your breath, we mean for you to learn to throw the abdominal muscles out and the diaphragm down.
  • The diaphragm is the arch of muscles over the abdominal cavity.
  • You will have the position correct if you feel a pressing outward high on the side of the ribs. This will free the solar plexus and put you in position for the next step.
  • When in position, close your mouth and inhale through your nose in a series of small puffs, the same as though you were pumping up a balloon short little strokes.
  • Fill your abdomen first, then gradually extend to the upper part of the chest, then after reaching your capacity in expanding, hold the breath for a short space.
  • Then get rigid or stretch-which is a tightening of the muscles of the entire body.
  • Then suddenly exhale through your mouth, ejecting the breath somewhat forcibly.
  • Don’t strain or try to over-do.
  • After some days or weeks of practice, you will be taking in a lot more air and expanding more.
  • You are requested to do this five times night and morning.
  • You will more than likely want to yawn. Go ahead and yawn, but don’t count that as one of the five exercises. That is just nature’s welcome and putting a balance in the system.
  • If you don’t pump that air into the abdomen and get way down with it, you miss three-fourths of the value.
  • When correctly done you have pressure from within, by reason of a full breath held, and pressure from without by reason of muscular tension.
  • The objective is to give a sort of squeezing to the cells of the body just like squeezing liquid out of a sponge – the cells and organs of the body being the sponge.
  • We want you to thoroughly understand the objectives of these exercises so that as you do them you picture in your mind what is taking place.

Order of Essenes: Book One [Old, New Thought Resurrected to Offer an Operating System for Life]

Order of Essenes

Order of Essenes

For a number of months, I’ve been studying a 24 “book” mail-order course from a now-defunct New Thought organization called the Order of Essenes.

Also referred to as “Life Science.” I dig the science of living. 🙂

New Thought is a bit tough to define, but if we must…New Thought as defined by Encyclopedia Brittanica:

New Thought, a mind-healing movement that originated in the United States in the 19th century, based on religious and metaphysical (concerning the nature of ultimate reality) presuppositions. The diversity of views and styles of life represented in various New Thought groups are difficult to describe because of their variety, and the same reason makes it virtually impossible to determine either membership or adherents.

I don’t necessarily prescribe to the board idea of New Thought, but I am a fan of systems…

Before the internet, people actually took courses through the mail. Not email, actual mail. Crazy, right?!

The Oder of Essenes mail correspondence course was recently put online by John Greer (also mentioned recently in the Box Breathing post.)

I’ll let Mr. Greer share his background with the Order of Essenes: A Few Notes on American Magic.

For purposes of this discussion, a few points…

  1. I’m going to share my notes from the 24 Books here.
  2. These notes allow me to digest what I read and easily review going forward.
  3. These thoughts align well with the systems thinking I mentioned above.
  4. To move into Book 25 and beyond, the Order requires written commentary on the passages – I’m hoping these posts qualify to see what’s next.

The “books” are short, but they are full of insights on life – love, work, relationships, self-improvement, spirituality, etc.

The books are intended to be reviewed 1 per week – read, think, practice, rinse and repeat.

Each book also offers a direction or instruction for the week.

Check out the list of great thoughts in Book 1, including some basics on water…

Order of Essenes: Book One

  • The greatest sin is fear.
  • The best day is today.
  • The best town is where you succeed.
  • The most agreeable person is one who would not have you any different from what you are.
  • The great bore is one who will not come to the point. A still greater bore is one who keeps on talking after he has made his point.
  • The greatest deceiver is one who deceives himself, The greatest secret of production is saving waste.
  • The best work is what you like.
  • The most ridiculous asset is pride.
  • The worst bankrupt is the soul that has lost its enthusiasm.
  • The cleverest man is one who has always done what he thinks is right.
  • The most dangerous person is the liar.
  • The most disagreeable person is the complainer.
  • The best teacher is the one who makes you want to learn..
  • The best play is work.
  • The greatest comfort is the knowledge that you have done your work well.
  • The greatest mistake is giving up.
  • The most expensive indulgence is hate.
  • The cheapest, stupidest and easiest thing to do is find fault, The greatest trouble maker is one who talks too much.
  • The greatest stumbling block is egotism.
  • The meanest feeling of which any human being is capable is feeling bad at another’s success.
  • The greatest need is common sense.
  • The greatest puzzle is life.
  • The greatest mystery is death.
  • The greatest thing, bar none, in all the world, is love.
  • Careful planning, backed by enthusiastic effort, is as essential in human engineering, as it is in structural engineering.
  • Millions now living are dead but don’t know it. Dead to the possibilities of their future. Dead to the opportunities of lite. Dead to a vision of their own potentialities.
  • Experience is cumulative and the next best step begins where the last one ended. We can’t go back and do the thing over; neither can we reach a destination ahead without setting our gaze in that direction. The shortest route is a continuous straight line.
  • It is not selfishness to think about yourself, only by self-enlightenment can you be prepared for a full measure of service, giving of yourself, and thus attain your cherished aims.

Instructions – Water 💦:

  • 85% water
  • Vehicle of life
  • 2 quarts per day
  • Drink when you get up/before bed
  • Drink balance of 2 quarts through the day
  • Don’t wash food down
  • Best time is 20 mins b/f eating

Settling Into Life as a Special Needs Family

It’s been a while since we chatted about special needs, the Dudes, and Handsome Mack

No time like the present for a catch-up sesh. We’ve definitely grown – figuratively and literally.

We’re no experts – because no one is – but we are settling into our life as a special needs family.

The shock and awe of the diagnosis, the rapid learning phase, and mobilization of a “team” are behind us – although the ground is always shifting. The true tests are underway – how do we manage our day-to-day?

No small task.

I’ve located a few interesting Mack-related links that share similarities with my perspective of this journey…


I like this open letter from a dad to his non-verbal autistic son. I understand the feels. Sometimes the deeper meaning is right on the surface. “I promise you I will spend my life keeping you safe and making this world better for you.” Hard to get deeper than the natural love from dad to son.


I try to relate to the thoughts in Mack’s head. Not easy. We’re all locked in our own heads, but Mack can’t even attempt to describe. Non-verbal is an interesting quality.

This article attempts to explain what it’s like to be autistic. Decent attempt for someone that isn’t autistic. I really like The Reason I Jump for a glimpse inside an autistic mind. Might be challenging for caregivers, but it sure is hard for the autistic mind too.


Mack turned 7 in January. I feel this mom worried about her non-verbal son that just turned 10. Special needs begin to stand out as you age. School becomes less relevant as the progress gap widens. Support is harder to find as the years add on. Reality can be raw.


The above article is our present – starting to see a vision of the short AND longterm perspectives. This complex life of a mom and her 22-year-old non-verbal son is a glimpse of the future. The challenges coming into view at 7 are real.

Challenges build.

But so does resilience, strength, love, beauty, appreciation…a life lived with a view of a deeper meaning that is hard to find and harder to hold onto.


Siblings live a life touched by special needs as well. Our family – top to bottom – is forever improved by our everyday life. This article sharing the deep relationship between brothers, one disabled and non-verbal, offers an understanding of connections made beyond words. It’s amazing to watch these relationships form with people around Mack – especially his sister and brothers.


Mack seems most at home outside. Especially at the edge of the ocean. He can dodge crashing waves all day. Sun. Wind. Movement. Fresh air. A peace that is difficult to recreate away from the water.

I feel this dad of a son with a “shockingly rare genetic disorder” – also non-verbal – when he explains The Importance of the Family Cottage…

[I]t was also a place where Walker could be who he was, free from the stares and expectations of others. As could the rest of us. The light and the wind seemed to change my son, calm him down

[A] developmental pediatrician revealed how delayed Walker actually was. He told us Walker would never read or drive a car. Then he asked if had any questions. I replied by explaining how Walker changed when we went up there to the island, how he seemed to lift his head toward the light and the breeze in the west and settle. I asked if I would ever be able to explain to Walker how much that place meant to me.

“Not rationally, no,” the doctor replied. “But it sounds as if he already understands it anyway, in his being. You know what the Buddhists say: get out of the way of your own mind. In that way, Walker’s miles ahead of all of us.”


I wonder how much words get in our way? How much thought diverts our attention and delays our true potential?

Huckberry tackled this question in a post I’ve held onto for a while – Active Mind: Thinking Without Words.

They build a strong case for the power of words…

Put simply: the words you know and use are going to affect the way you act. It’s Mom’s famous advice: you are who your friends are; it’s just that your friends happen to be the words you know and use. So the better words you have, the better you can describe and (ostensibly) understand and experience the world.

But, more importantly for this discussion, also the great happiness and peace of no words.

The absence of inner speech does not mean unhappiness, in fact, it may lead to profound joy.

So to complete our question: No, man didn’t think before words, he acted on instinct. But, it wasn’t a horrible existence, and it may have been extremely peaceful.

Knowing there may be profound joy and extreme peace in Mack’s mind makes me happy. 🙂

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Lessons in Love: 10 Years of Marriage…and a Bunch of Blog Posts

The Mrs and I celebrated 10 years of marriage this year.

A 7 day all-inclusive trip to Antigua – pretty awesome, but we did lose an iPhone (last picture to the right), get food poisoning, and realize we’re not all-inclusive people.

Life is full of lessons.

This momentous occasion led me to think about doing my part to make the next 10 the very best they can be.

Wish I could say I have it all figured out, but really do we ever have it figured out – life, love, ladies…very confusing topics.

I horde links of great blog posts on the reg, so I turned to my “Love” category to see what lessons I need to incorporate in the next 10 amazing years of wedded bliss…

Lessons in Love

Let’s start with a couple quotes from Esther Perle

A Definition of Love by Esther Perel

It’s a verb. It’s an active engagement with all kinds of feelings—positive ones and primitive ones and loathsome ones. But it’s a very active verb. And it’s often surprising how it can kind of ebb and flow. It’s like the moon. We think it’s disappeared, and suddenly it shows up again. It’s not a permanent state of enthusiasm.

Marriage by Esther Perel

Marriage is an aggregate of multiple narratives. It belongs to the people who are in it, but it also belongs to the people who are supporting it and living around it: family, friends, community. As I once said, and it became a kind of a saying for me, when you pick a partner, you pick a story, and then you find yourself in a play you never auditioned for. And that is when the narratives clash.

How to Easily Make Your Relationships Awesome: 4 Secrets

  • Bids & responses
  • Turn toward bids
  • Decode bids
  • Ok to miss 20%
  • Curiosity, depth, and feelings
  • Collector of emotional moments

8 Things Happily Married Couples Do 

  • Pay compliments
  • Express thanks
  • Take their workload
  • Apologize when wrong
  • Help de-stress
  • Physical – light touch, small kiss
  • Send partner out
  • Send self out

Became More Self-Aware in Your Marriage

  • Tripple A
    • Attention
    • Affection
    • Acknowledgment
  • “Thank you for putting aside yourself to do this for me.”

100 Small, Nice Things

  • All good ideas

5 Habits of Happy Marriages

  • Prioritize positivity
  • Cultivate healthy passion
  • Savor experiences
  • Focus on character strengths
  • Emphasize gratitude

7 Tips for Building a Marriage

  • Daily practice
  • Make sure on the same page
  • Control your own happiness
  • Balance parenting and marriage
  • Ask, “how can I help?”

8 Communication Traits of Happy, Healthy Marriages

  • Daily appreciations – quantity leads to happiness
  • Active listening
  • Write down criticisms – if ever needed
  • Practice positivity – 5:1 ratio positive:negative
  • Embrace the power of timeout
  • Make contact
  • Use “I” statements
  • Ask questions – get curious

How to Keep a Long-Term Marriage Thriving, According to 7 Happily Married Men

  •  Prioritize date-nights
  • Remember the little things
  • Revisit places
  • Know love languages
  • Surprise romantic gestures
  • Court once per month
  • Compliment her

How to Have a Happy Marriage: Powerful Secrets from Research

  • Bad things are exceptions, good things are traits
  • Give thanks
  • Celebrate the good times (capitalization)
  • Communication is key
  • Try a new restaurant after you go skydiving

10 Relationship Skills All Husbands & Wives Need to Master

  • Show appreciation (validation): be there, listen
  • Listen: what would help you most right now?
  • Avoid interruption
  • Flirt: practice posture of interest
  • Set appropriate boundaries
  • Prioritize marriage
  • Watch words during arguments: use “I” statements
  • Stay clear of invalidation
  • Know when to take a timeout
  • Pay attention to body language

Small Facial Expressions Let You Know Your Marriage is Happy

  • 80% of communication is nonverbal – faces display an immense amount of information
  • Grab nose = more space
  • Bite or grab lower lip = solve a problem/get rid of something
  • Upper lip = stimulated by conversation or appearance
  • Copied or repeated behaviors = positive
  • Rolling eyes and not focusing on the partner = lack/loss of respect

4-Fold Breathing (aka Box Breathing) is a Killer Addition to Your Meditation and Daily Routine

Breath control and breathing exercises are killer, brah.

And there are a variety of methods to choose from…

When I added discursive meditation to my daily routine, I also added a breathing routine/exercise – 4-Fold/Fourfold Breathing, aka Box Breathing.

I start my meditation with a few rounds of 4-fold breathing to center, relax and get in the meditation groove.

  • In for 4
  • Hold for 4
  • Out for 4
  • Hold for 4
  • Repeat

The same cool Druid cat that intro’ed me to discursive meditation also open the fourfold breath path – they go hand-in-hand. Here’s the description

“Once you’ve settled into your position, consciously relax each part of your body, starting with your feet and moving step by stap up to the top of your head. Then spend a few minutes paying conscious attention to your breath, breathing in and out slowly, evenly and fully. A traditional breathing exercise called the Fourfold Breath is commonly used here. Breathe slowly in while counting mentally from one to four; hold your breath in, while counting from one to four; breathe out, counting from one to four; and hold the breath out, with the lungs empty, while counting from one to four, and repeat. The counts should all be at the same pace, and the breath should be held in or out with the muscles of the chest and diaphragm, not by closing the throat, which can lead to health problems.”

Navy Seals dig box breathing, Laird Hamilton/Gabby Reece are down with it too, and the interwebs are full fo love for the fourfold breath.

Super easy. Works wonders.