The Yin & Yang of Being Beaten by Your Kid

I have three claims-to-fame in my 39 years on this lovely planet.

  1. I once placed 2nd in a BMX bike race. Seven years old. My first BMX bike. A brand new birthday helmet. A big dirt track with hills and jumps. Early 80’s when BMX was super cool. And I came in 2nd…in my very first race! There were only two riders. It was also my last BMX race. But I did hang my red 2nd place ribbon on my wall.
  2. In the 8th-grade yearbook, I was selected as “Best Dressed.” The climax of my life – and the height of my style – was only a short 25 years ago. Not too shabby.
  3. At six, I was the youngest green belt my YMCA Karate instructor had ever encountered. I stopped shortly thereafter. A local YMCA record seemed sufficient.

There are no BMX tracks near us.

8th grade is still a long way off.

But…

On Saturday, Little Dude captured his yellow belt in Tae Kwon Do. He’s only five.

My meaningless YMCA record has been crushed. By my prodigy.

Sort of.

There’s a bit of a technicality.

As “they” say, every great teacher wants their student to be better than them.

I love seeing Little Dude kicking ass and taking names. It literally warms my heart – yes, literally, as in my heart is physically warmer watching the awesomeness of my offspring.

But…

Dad’s don’t like to be beaten. Especially by their kids. At anything.

The technicality…

In the generic YMCA karate of my youth, the green belt followed the white belt. In Little Dude’s TKD class, green follows yellow.

In Little Dude’s mind, Dad is still in the lead. And I’m keeping it that way.

I have the green belt (thanks Mom), and I’ll pass it down when the time is right – IE when Little Dude is 7.

Long live the Dad champ!

Congrats Little Dude…

And for contrast…

An 8-Bit Dude. All is Right with the World.

Drunk Uncle is an SNL skit popular with the kids in the streets.

The Dudes are sans TV, so all I know is what I gather from the Tube of You

Photo: Margarita day...  @alexbradshaw @caseybradshaw #topsailvaca2013

Which is made that much funnier by this guy…

Mrs. Dude’s bro.

You may recall this gorgeous grin after a couple too many margaritas on the Dude Fam Summer Vaca.

Like Madonna, he has since been known by one title…

Druncle.

As you might expect from Druncle, he’s not afraid to share a fantastically grown-up video game with a 3.5 year old.

Little Dude came home from a recent visit with Druncle to tell his dear ol’ dad all about pulling the “popo” out of their car so he could drive it and crash into things.

Grand Theft Auto. Yep.

To Druncle’s credit, the sound was off and the “no weapons” setting was on. Phew. At least Little Dude can only punch the popo.

As we watched the Super Bowl with Druncle the other day, Little Dude made it a point to show me the “car game,” as he affectionately calls the most obscene game ever created.

I was blown away.

Yeah, it’s violent. But that’s to be expected. And at the end of the day, it’s a game.

What blew me away was the the quality of the graphics. Wow.

I’ve never been a “gamer,” and I haven’t played something like that in years. It’s like you are watching a CNN newscast of an LA riot, and you’re controlling the participants. Very realistic.

Pretty cool. But it made me long for the good ol’ days of Nintendo. 8-bit video game magic.

Up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A, Select, Start.

Who’s with me?!

I grew up blowing in the games to make them work. Where we had to use our imaginations to make ourselves believe the goalie in NHL Hockey actually looked like a goalie….psst…he can’t save the shot that riccochet’s off the post!

Where’s the work ethic with this new-fangled technology and the high quality graphics?!

Luckily, the Big Lebowski can make things right. He always does.

An 8-bit version of The Dude. All is right with the world.

Hat tip Open Culture.

Little Dude’s First Ninja Class

We’ve reached the ninja stage at the Dude Casa.

Ninjago is all the rage with Little Dude, and Teen Age Mutant Ninja Turtles are enjoying a resurgence.

It’s a good stage.

Turns out the local Tae Kwan Do class is accepting little ninjas.

The little man is a bit under the age limit, but we tested the scene with good success.

The newest ninja at his first class…

Dude Nesting?

We are days away from adding a new mouth to the Dude Clan. We will officially be out numbered any day!

Mrs. Dude has gone from, “we better make it passed Christmas,” to “this baby is coming soon!”

I’m not really sure what that means, but my guess is the baby will be coming soon.

We all prepare for life’s milestones differently. The Dude? He packs up Little Dude and hits Walmart to torture himself purchase a bunch of unnecessary crapola and organize under the bathroom sink.

Seems logical. Organization under the bathroom sink = ready for baby? Ok.

I guess the Dude has been bitten by a bit of pre-bambino nesting.

Seriously. I Googled it. Dudes nest too.

See you soon baby. 🙂

Dude Nesting - Part 1 #walmartisthedevil

Dude Nesting – Part 1 #walmartisthedevil

Dude Nesting - Part 2 #underbathroomsinkorganized=readyforbaby?

Dude Nesting – Part 2 #underbathroomsinkorganized=readyforbaby?

Thanksgiving Canceled! Turkey Day Replaced with Bill Day.

Mark your calendars. 2012 marks the beginning of a new holiday tradition –  end of Turkey Day and the beginning of Bill Day.

Similar to Festivus, it is completely contrived, so it can be anything we want. We reserve the right to add a catchy slogan (how great is “Festivus for the rest of us!?”) and/or adjust the holiday name at a future date.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dS7-jcsB_WQ[/youtube]

But more on Bill Day in a minute.

So, The Dude Family trekked up the to DC area for Thanksgiving. Every other year we celebrate Turkey Day with my sister – aka Lady in a Shoe because she has a ridiculous amount of kids…although The Dudes are catching up fast.

Two years ago it broke out into a children’s Thanksgiving Day dance party…a rare sight on eat-until-you-sleep day.

This year, we stretched it out to four days and even included a trip to Washington, DC with three adults and six kids from 2-8…on the Metro! We’re ballsy.

Chillin’ at the White House…

Little Dude at White House

Little Dude at White House

led to antagonizing at the White House…

which led to a White House wrastling match…

White House Wrastling

White House Wrastling

that led us to taking a deep breath and watching the world pass us by at the Washington Monument…

Washington Monument Chillin'

Washington Monument Chillin’

Much to be Thankful for. Indeed.

After a great day in the big city, we learned that Thanksgiving had been canceled!!! 🙁

To be fair, Thanksgiving wasn’t actually canceled. It was just postponed to Friday. But “Thanksgiving Postponed” doesn’t have the same impact.

Turns out the Dude’s Padre – aka Bill – decided to get the flu vaccine the day before the turkey was to be served. And the flue vaccine made him feel muy mal.

Bill, Doc, really?! The day before Thanksgiving? #headshake.

Let me pull up my soapbox and clear my throat….ah hem…this is where I link to the Dude’s Tips for Cold & Flu season as an unveiled “I told you so.” 🙂

So, Bill was too sick to join us for Thanksgiving, and by Friday Grammie had to leave Papa at home to carry on with the festivities.

But Thanksgiving is Thursday, not Friday! Well, it was. Now Thursday has become Bill Day, and Black Friday has become the new Thanksgiving.

All the cool kids are doing it.

Bill Day = do anything you want day. Everyone else is busy, so the world is your oyster. We chose to go for a hike, cut wood, light a fire, drink beer and watch football…while relegating the kids to the basement to fend for themselves.

Much like Thanksgiving…but no turkey. The perfect Bill Day!

Then we enjoyed a great Thanksgiving on Friday while everyone was beating the shiz out of each other to get the last pre-paid cell phone and/or .50 cent towel at Walmart.

All in all, a pretty great tweak to the Dude’s favorite holiday (4th of July is a close 2nd). Although, we did miss you Papa.

But golfing by Sunday?! Are you sure you were sick…or just avoiding a house with 6 kids and a pregnant lady?

Hey, it’s Bill Day…do you. 🙂

Little Dude’s First Haircut. What Were We Thinking?!

We experienced Little Dude’s first “real” haircut today.

As you may recall, we’ve shaved that melon a couple times, but it has been almost exactly two years since we’ve touched that glorious coif.

As you can probably tell from my choice of adjectives, this has been a stressful day.

Mrs. Dude rolled out a fantastic blog post recapping Little Dude’s first haircut (yes, apparently we have blogging wars in our house. :)), so I won’t recreate the wheel. But I will make a few points and send you along to my lovely bride’s fantastic site.

  1. I need to start by saying how much we absolutely without a doubt whole-heartedly adored the Little Man’s hair. For real. Loved it! Look at that before shot…

    Little Dude - Before THE Haircut

    Little Dude – Before THE Haircut

  2. Little Dude hated every minute of this experience. Refer to Mrs. D’s post for photographic reference.
  3. The Dude’s dome is desolate when it comes to hair follicles.  Why would anyone let me sit in a barber’s chair (literally have not been in one in 10 years), hold my son while he screams and cries,  and then ask me for direction about my two year old’s mane?!
  4. I’ve given Mrs. Dude direction about this haircut for six months…”just an inch, no more, just an inch.” Why did I choke under pressure? Mrs. Dude reminds me that I uttered the words, “we’re not worried about the length, just make it look natural.” What?! Length is ALL we were worried about! Who am I, Vidal Sassoon?! Natural?! I shave my head with a bic razor that I sharpen on my jeans. What do I know about “natural?” Just trim that shit! How hard is that?!

I’ll preface this by saying that he’s our son, he will ALWAYS be amazingly handsome to us. HOWEVER, who is that dude? And where did his hair go.

Little Dude - After

Little Dude – After

Can’t put the toothpaste back in the tube.

How could a haircut be this stressful?

Geesh! Maybe bald is beautiful.

Check out Mrs. Dude’s post…she’s pretty great. 🙂

Inside a Toddler’s Brain: A Little Dude Update

Inside a Toddler's Brain

Inside a Toddler’s Brain

Yep, this chart is spot on. Fits Little Dude to a T. Tip o’ the hat to SwissMiss for sharing.

While we’re in his head, let’s hit a quick update.

He’s growing like a weed. Mrs. Dude and I realized – separately – today that he looks taller and thin. That baby belly is gone! Although, that could have something to do with his diet of Play-Dough and Goldfish.

His hair is insanely long. It will be two years of growth at Thanksgiving! Awesome. We keep discussing when to cut, but we just can’t commit. A mohawk sounds great, but his hair is soooo rad.

Rad Hair Little Dude

Rad Hair Little Dude

He’s constantly learning and asking questions. He’s talking so much. Constantly throwing new words and phrases at us. I have no idea how or where the sponge is soaking it all up. And the pronunciation of words at two is about the cutest sound that will tickle your eardrums.

Somehow he knows where to put all the body parts on a drawing. Mrs. Dude drew the head, and he finished it off. Rad. Perhaps this is the norm, but I like to think of him as a baby genius. 🙂

Little Dude Knows Body Parts

Little Dude Knows Body Parts

He’s figuring out his body too. For example, he realized his chin moves side to side yesterday. Hilarious.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mppPe0JYRAA[/youtube]

His hugs, kisses, and “uve u’s” are priceless, and we are amazingly happy.

Hearts & Stars…and trucks…forever!

The Zen of “Sure”

Sure

Sure

I’ve been on a bit of a blogging hiatus. Mrs. Dude has me working a second job painting the sun room.

We should be able to drop the brushes soon and get back to life without painting.

In the meantime, ponder the Zen of “sure.”

It turns out the Dude and/or Mrs. Dude must use the word “sure” from time to time. Little Dude has adopted “sure” as his “yes,” and he uses is ALL the time.

Almost any affirmative statement has become “sure.” It’s hilarious.

  • Do you want a Popsicle? Sure.
  • Let’s get your shoes on. Sure
  • Get down from there. Sure.
  • Do you want to go outside? Sure.

I’ve realized that “sure” is  the perfect word. It fits almost any situation and the interpretation is left open-ended. Small inflections make big a difference.

Is that sarcastic? Is that enthusiastic? Is he just tolerating me? I guess that means “yes”?

I may adopt “sure” as my new way to navigate life. I’m just going to respond with “sure” to everything that comes my way.

The Zen of “Sure.”

It’s a lot like “Dude”…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dyMSSe7cOvA[/youtube]

Real Life Hot Wheels! Little Dude Is In Love

Little Dude Car Love

Little Dude Car Love

Little Dude LOVES cars.

I had a plethora of Matchbox and/or Hot Wheels when the Dude was a youngin’, but I don’t think my love ran as deep as Little Dude’s.

Cars are a constant. The movie, the toys, clothes, tooth brush & tooth paste…he even digs NASCAR! He travels everywhere with a handful of cars. His current favorite is Light Queen (i.e. Lightning McQueen) and Monsta (i.e. a monster truck). But the favorites change by the hour.

It’s awesome to see his love of life taking shape. Regardless of what anyone else thinks, Little Dude knows what he loves – luckily, the Dude is still high on that love list.

So, when I saw these real life Hot Wheels doing loops, I knew I had to spread the car love…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c6PQ49B5Gpw&feature=plcp[/youtube]

First Pictures of the Newest Dude Bambino!

Mrs. Dude, Little Dude, and your’s truly made an hour + trek to the baby doctor the other day for our first baby appointment. We are officially 13 weeks preggo now, and probably should have had an earlier visit, but we’ve had a difficult time determining the Doc of our choice.

We’re stuck in an interesting position. The closest hospital – the joint where Little Dude was welcomed into the world – is not very open to natural birth techniques. In fact, their c-section rate is almost 50%! That’s ridonculous.

Now, the odds of us having a c-section are pretty slim considering Mrs. Dude’s awesome performances for bambinos numero uno and numer dos, but that stat is pretty telling for the overall birthing atmosphere. And we are all about a natural birth.

We’d love to have this baby born in a tub in our bedroom, but NC has some pretty crazy restrictions on home births. As a result, we are seeking a happy middle ground, a great midwife in a medical facility. However, this middle ground is over an hour from our house.

So, we’ll trek an hour to see the Doc and/or midwife for the next six months. However, I see potential for some excitement around the birth.

In the birth story I wrote about Little Dude’s entrance into the world, you’ll notice that from the water breaking through laboring at home, driving to the hospital and giving birth, we only covered a three hour period. Heck, the doctor didn’t even make it to the birth. The nurse and Mrs. Dude’s Mom, Nina, helped Little Dude make his entrance. And this hospital was only 15 minutes from the house.

So, how are we going to get over an hour on the third baby with Mrs. Dude trying to labor in a car? Great question.

We’ll work that out when the time comes. For now, we are jazzed about the great visit we had with a Doc that we could relate to, and we’re looking forward to meeting with the midwife.

We had the pleasure of seeing the little bean – or peach I guess – on the ultrasound, and he/she was even jumping around a bit – another lunatic like Little Dude?! Little Dude even seemed to enjoy seeing his newest sibling, although he still changes the subject when we ask him where the baby is. 🙂

Here’s the first picture of the newest Dude bambino. Best looking ultrasound you’ve ever seen, right?

Newest Dude Bambino

Newest Dude Bambino