Week 24: Development

Week 24:  Development

Week 24: Development

Happy 6th month birthday Little Dude.

Responsibility can breed insecurity.

The knowledge that all accountability falls on squarely on your shoulders can make you question your tactics and the results.  Am I doing this correctly?  Is there a better strategy?  What are the consequences if I fail?

There is no larger responsibility than guiding a young life, and given the rapid pace of development in the early stages, there is no shortage of opportunity for insecurity.  Parents usually maintain pretty high standards for themselves, but young ones are much more resilient than we give them credit for.  The insecurity is often misguided

But that doesn’t stem the flood of uncertainty.

Is he eating enough?  Is he eating too much?  Why isn’t he pooping?  Why is he pooping so much?  Are we causing the reflux?  Is he too small?  Is his head too big?  Is he focusing enough?  Why does his hair look like he’s 50?

To add to the insecurity, we go to the doctor’s office where they make random measurements and tell us where our creation stacks up against averages.  And inevitably the young one visits with other young ones, and the comparison contest continues.

Ooohhh…she’s doing this and we’re not.  He’s this big and we’re only here.  If he can do it, should we be able to?

We’ve had a lot of opportunity to compare, and I’d say the first lesson of parenting should be don’t compare….ever.

The Intimidator

The Intimidator

In Week Nine I mentioned my newest nephew, Little Dude’s senior by 19 days, The Intimidator.  This beast was 20 pounds at birth….ok, maybe not, but he’s a giant…with a Cassey Cassum radio voice!  The Intimidator has consistently been in the 95th growth/size percentile compared to Little Dude’s 25th percentile.  And in the early stages, 19 days is a large opportunity for development.  We’re constantly talking with the Lady in the Shoe about updates on the bambinos.  It’s easy to let the mind run wild.

The first instinct is to wonder, question, speculate, but there’s no reason to draw conclusions.  Everyone is different.  Everyone will develop at a different pace.  Sure, it makes sense to have a vague sense of developmental stages and averages, but no need to pay more than a passing glance.

The Intimidator will level out…or The Lady in the Shoe will have a 6 foot 200 pound four year old on her hands.   My guess is nature will move towards a happy median.

But that doesn’t stop a Mom and Dad from feeling insecure.

Little Dude was consistently rolling over by Week 15, but here we are at Week 24, and I haven’t seen a roll in at least a month.  I’ve heard rumors of a roll here and there, but nothing consistent.  He’s not regressing.  Just not rolling.  As if he’s been there, done that.  He’ll do tummy time and just chill, maybe roll onto his side.  Then he’s over it and screams.  But no roll.

What are we to make of this?  Should we be concerned?

We’ve gotten a lot of input, and most don’t seem alarmed.  As long as he’s not regressing things are good.

He’s using his legs.  He’s trying to sit up.  When he’s on his tummy he’s starting to find his knees.  He’s starting to eat solid food.

He seems to be progressing.  But are we missing something?  Or just being insecure parents?

As if on cue, Little Dude gave us the answer today.  To celebrate his six month b-day, Little Dude decided to form his first semblance of a two syllable word/sound, and to the Dude’s great honor, he spit out “Dada”… three times!

I wasn’t there to witness it, but Mrs. Dude assures me it was no accident.  He was repeating after her directly.

Alright L.D, I hear ya.  You’re progressing.  No need to worry.  I’m giving up my insecurity.

My guess is it could return from time to time, but I’ll try to keep it at bay.

We Went to Thanksgiving and…

Family and holidays go together like turkey and naps.  (Side note, the Thanksgiving Day Nap is arguably the king of all naps.)

However, as life progresses, family dynamics progress as well.

Growing up, big holidays were spent at the Dude’s grandparents.  Birthdays, Easter, and Thanksgiving would shift from time to time, but Christmas Eve was a given.  Twenty five years straight, the Dude sat in the “No-no Room” singing Christmas carols, shaking Santa’s hand, and enjoying the company of the extended family.

Then life happened.

Changes in location, changes in career paths, and ultimately, changes in family life brought the Christmas streak to an end a few years ago.  Now it’s a struggle to make one holiday with the extended family, never mind a prolonged streak.

Mix in the complexity of alternating holidays between Dude and Mrs. Dude’s families, plus factoring in siblings and their in-laws, and determining a satisfactory holiday schedule is nothing short of a miracle.

As families grow and life marches on, priorities adjust.  The family focus that helped create my identity is shifting.  I have great holiday memories of family dropping their everyday concerns and coming together to strengthen bonds that have developed over generations.  Mrs. Dude and I now have the opportunity to create these memories for our kids.  But roles are chaning.  My parents are now the Grandparents that can’t say “no.”  My sister and brother-in-law are now the fun aunt and uncle.  And so on.

And while priorities change, the definition of family remains constant.  The bond that families share, and strengthen by coming together to celebrate life and the company of loved ones, is not sacrificed.  It’s fortified.  A new generation is added to the familial chain.  The bonds passed through the ancestry are extended once again.

While we can’t always share the holidays with each and every member of our family, the love persists.  The pride and comfort of knowing who we are and where we came from carry on, and more importantly, are shared with new faces.

Happy holidays from the Dude Family to our family and friends.  You may not be in our direct line of vision, but you’ll always remain in our hearts. We are very thankful to have you in our lives.

So, with that prelude complete…

We hit the road last Wednesday in search of some turkey.  We’re alternating Thanksgiving and Christmas between Dude and Mrs. Dude’s families, and this year was a Dude Turkey Day.  We went to stay with The Lady in the Shoe (as in “the lady in the shoe had so many kids she didn’t know what to do”), aka the Dude’s sister, and we had a blast.  Lots of great food, wine, football, jokes, and time spent with the ones we love.

We went to Thanksgiving and…

I learned a few things:

  1. My mother will sleep on a pull out couch in the middle of the house knowing there are two infants getting up throughout the night and four other kids up by 7:00 AM, and then she’ll change every diaper, run every bath, change every outfit, read every book, draw every picture, put the babies down for naps, with zero naps for herself, and bring four pies to Thanksgiving dinner…all to spend every waking moment with her grandkids.  In all fairness, Papa Dude does most of this as well, but that Grandma motivation is hard to duplicate.  I guess I’ve always known this, but it’s still impressive to witness.
  2. Despite that fact that The Lady in the Shoe has four kids under 6 pooping in one house and a mountain of diaper experience, she made the bold statement that Little Dude’s poop is the stinkiest she has ever smelled!  Can you believe that?  Could this be?Given the wretched smell of the formula we use for his reflux, and the nasty stench of the spit up, I suppose I can believe it.  But I wasn’t expecting this.  I just assumed that horrible odor was  natural for babies on formula.  I guess I’m pleased to know it’s not normal to smell that bad, but the downside is that we now have the stinky kid.
  3. Lastly, I learned that my Dad is crazy enough to sincerely ask the clerk at The Dollar Tree how much items cost!  And, according to everyone at the festivities, I’m just like my Dad.  Mrs. Dude, get ready for some absurd quirkiness as we grow old together.

But most importantly, we went to Thanksgiving and…

A rave/dance-fight broke out!

This video pretty much sums up the chaos that 6 kids under 6 can create when bottled up in one house.

Daily Pixels: Winter Beard

It’s officially Fall.  We’re past the day of candy begging.  It’s dark at 5PM these days.  A wet suit is a must for getting in the ocean.  And Turkey Day is less than two weeks away.

This can only mean one thing.  Time for the Winter Beard.

We are currently in the first stages of the Winter Beard.  It’s only been about two weeks (Oct. 30th), but I know it’s on the right track.

I stopped by the supermarket with Little Dude yesterday.  I wandered around the store with L.D. in the Bjorn, and we got all sorts of looks.  Perhaps it was L.D.’s cuteness that was overwhelming the passersby, but to the Dude, the looks had more of a strange than cute feel to them.  Given the beard and the Bjorn, perhaps our appearance conjured up memories of The Hangover.

Welcome back Winter Beard.  We’ve missed you.

My goal is for four months of growth.  A third of the year!…awesome!  We’ll see if my face, my employer, and Mrs. Dude can handle it.  Bring on the awesomeness.

Winter Beard

Week 21 – Dirty Secret

Dirty Secret

Dirty Secret

Last week, in response to the post about Little Dude’s acrobatics, Lady in the Shoe left the following comment:

“That Little Dude won’t be happy unless he is flying moch 3 with his hair on fire . . . wow is he a dare devil!

The Wiggles are creepy and so are a lot of other kids shows. Just know that most shows spend time and money researching the learning and entertainment from the kids’ perspective.  And enjoy!

PS  That is one loved swing – judging from the loks of the pillow…hahaha”

Ah, that Lady in the Shoe, as witty as she is wise.  Nice Top Gun quote; touche.  And great Wiggles input; gracias.  But the point I would like to emphasize is her PS.

“PS  That is one loved swing – judging from the loks of the pillow…hahaha”

Well, thanks for pointing out that the swing was looking grungy.  Are you picking up on the sarcasm?  There’s a little layered in there.

The Shoe Lady’s comment gave me a great reason to crack the whip.  Mrs. Dude had to take some advanced engineering classes to figure out how to get the swing off the stand, but Lady in the Shoe, you’ll be happy to know we are no longer sitting our child in filth on a regular basis…not in the swing anyway.

Other than calling us on our lack of hygiene, Lady in the Shoe made an important point.  That swing has indeed seen much love over the course of the first 21 weeks of L.D.’s existence.

In fact, it has been the sole slumber zone for all 140 nights leading up to this past week.

Little Dude fell in love with the swing immediately…as in the first night he arrived home.  The constant motion put him out quick and kept him out.  We’ve settled into a routine where he’s now waking up once a night to eat, but there were plenty of nights early on where he was giving us a full night sleep in that swinging miracle.

However, we received advisory suggestions from multiple sources that mentioned we should have had him out of the swing and in his crib weeks ago.  I think the Pediatrician may have been one of those advisory sources.  And I think Mrs. Dude may have fibbed about his sleeping locale at the last appointment.  Tsk, tsk, tsk.

Well, no worries.  The dirty secret (literally and figuratively) has been cleansed from our lives.  Little Dude is officially a crib sleeper.

And the best part is he loves it!

We thought it was Little Dude that needed to be in the swing.  We thought we would have countless sleepless nights and a cranky little boy when we made the move.  We intimidated ourselves into believing that we needed to choose the absolute perfect time to make the transition.

And none of that was accurate.  Little Dude took to the change immediately.

What the crib lacks in motion, it more than makes up for in comfy, comfy roominess.  Little Dude loves the space to stretch out.  He’s now taking all naps, and sleeping full nights in the crib.

So, I guess the lesson for week 21 is don’t stress about changes.  Kids will make it work.  There may be a few bumps in the road, but no need to wait for the perfect opportunity to change…there’s no such thing as the perfect opportunity.

Well, that, and before you post a picture of your child’s swing on the internet, make sure it’s clean.

Eat the Crust First

Are we a cut-the-crust-off-your-bread type of family?

I’m sure there is great reasoning on both sides of this discussion, but regardless of the decision, this seems like a choice that helps define a family.

Life lessons from bread crust?

I want to make sure my kids have what they need, but I don’t want to be cutting their crust throughout life.  Working through a tough crust – nice metaphor for life experiences – can help build character.

I was going to try to make the, crust has more nutrients argument, but the magic of Yahoo Answers demonstrated that this is most likely a myth.  So, I think I’ll fall back on the true crux of the issue.

From the Dude’s perspective, cutting the crust off a sandwich adds an extra step for busy parents, and throws the child/parent balance off.

There’s nothing wrong with the crust.  A little tough?  Sure.  But it’s part of the bread.  Why would we cut it off?

It seems frivolous, and to meet frivolous desires encourages more frivolous desires.  Ok, that sounds a bit extreme.

But the premise seems to fit.  We don’t need to create extra work for an everyday event that is unnecessary.

I suggest the complete opposite approach.  I can admit the crust is a bit harder to chew, so instead of stressing about it, tackle it first and save the best part for last.  That makes the last bite that much better…ah, the soft middle bite that offers the most gooey part of the fluffernutter.

Do we want our kids chasing every frivolous desire, or do we want them tough enough to tackle the tough challenges first so they can enjoy life’s finer points that much more?

Seems like an easy decision to me.

We are a crust-on type of family.

That’s what I thought until I walked into the kitchen this morning.

Mrs. Dude, we need to talk…

Eat the Crust First

Eat the Crust First

Daily Pixels: Eat It

The development just keeps on rollin’.  Kid won’t stop growing.

Sweet potatoes and bananas so far, but we have all sorts of goodies on the ready.

Cliché? Definitely.  Even at five months the thought crosses your mind: “They grow too fast.”   As much as I look forward to the next stage, I already miss where we just came from.

I guess it’s the now that matters most anyway.

PS – As you read the title of the post, I’d like to suggest that you have Weird Al singing in your head.

Have some more yogurt.  Have some more spam.  It doesn’t matter if it’s fresh or if it’s canned.” Lyrical genius.

Eat It

Eat It

Daily Pixels: Fantastic Voyage

The Dude has been on hiatus.  A fantastic voyage to San Antonio, TX this week set the posting back a bit.  Time to catchup.  Little Dude developments, the end of Princess’ soccer season, Halloween, a new Dude Knows Best installment, “Princess Pixels”…lots in store to makeup for the time off.

The journey was actually a business trip full of, well, business.  While San Antonio is a nice city, given the workload and lack of free time, I wouldn’t really qualify the trip as a fantastic voyage , but I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to reference Coolio.  (Although I did ride a mechanical bull…including a cowboy hat, sit on a 2k pound bull named Oreo, and visit the Alamo!…sort of fantastic, I guess.)

While I was off gallivanting around the Lone Star state, Mrs. Dude was left on her own for four days to hold down Casa de Dude, manage the dogs, and regulate the rug-rats.  Quite the task.  Thanks Mrs. Dude.  I’m happy to report that everyone survived in one piece.

However, while I may have been on hiatus, Little Dude was not.  Gone for four days, and L.D. decides to start feeding himself?!  Really Little Dude?  You’re going to go and grow up while I’m not here to watch it?!  You need to slow your roll.  Daddy needs to see this kind of stuff in person.

As much as I can’t wait for him to be older so we can do all sorts of Dude/Little Dude stuff, it’s tough to see this little guy getting so big so quick.  I guess life is full of great paradoxes.

Keep on keepin’ on Little Dude.

Fantastic Voyage

Fantastic Voyage

I Totally Redeemed Myself

Little Dude - Brooke Mayo

Little Dude - Brooke Mayo

An interesting Dude Family fact:  The Dude’s Mom, Dad, and Grandma (Mom’s Mom) all share the same birthday.  Today.

Bizarre.

Happy Birthday Mom, Dad, & Gram!

As a birthday gift (kind of), here’s a picture of your grand-baby taken by a rad photographer, Brooke Mayo.

My dad graduated with a master’s degree in math.  Old school math degree too.  They only had a calculator in the library that they all shared to break down ridiculous master’s degree math problems.  Nuts.  Clearly the man must know some math.

So I asked today what are the odds of all the same b-days.  Seems like he should be able to rattle this fact off.  He’s known Mama Dukes and Gram from like forty years.  Wouldn’t you think that crazy math mind would have to know the answer to this?

All I got in return was:   “If there are 20 people in a room the odds that 2 have the same birthday is over 50%.”

Huh?

Did he just give me his math homework?  My head hurt trying to figure it out, so I left it alone.

Anyway, of course I got the cards in the mail on time, and I gave each a birthday message today, but I totally redeemed myself on a Skype message with my Dad.

Dude: Happy b-day old man.  🙂 [10:40:11 AM]

Dude’s Padre: Thank you.  Mom and I will step out for a nice dinner at Bonefish Grille tonight.

Do you think you know how old mom and I are? [10:40:35 AM]

Dude: How old?  Hmmm.  I’ve been blessed with a memory like your’s (Dude’s Padre can’t recall where he was an hour ago.), so I’m not sure, but I’ll take a stab.

Mom = 61

Dad = 64

Bingo? [10:48:17 AM]

Dude’s Padre: right on Bucko. [10:48:33 AM]

It’s kind of funny that my Dad and I Skype like we’re stuck in the 1950’s. “Old man?”  “Step out?”  “Bingo?”  “Bucko?”  Sounds like a Leave it to Beaver episode.

Anyway, did you see how I totally redeemed myself there?  There’s no way he thought I knew their age.  And neither did I.

But bingo, I pulled it out.  Nice work Dude.

Not sure how I knew that.

Sort of reminds me of…

Daily Pixels: Tree Hugging Weather

In a previous post I mentioned that a rainy Sunday can be a blessing.  It’s safe to say a Sunday with bright sun, blue skies, no wind, and 75 degree temps is a blessing too.

Thanks Mama Nature.  The perfect weather to head outside for some time soaking up fall…tree hugging weather.  No actual trees were hugged, but we did consider it.

Tree Hugging

L.D. slightly over-dressed

Tree Hugging

I need a tree to hug

Tree Hugging

Sea Turtle Boil

Tiny Turtle Tracks

Tiny Turtle Tracks

Surprise!

Surprise!

Tree Hugger in the Making

Tree Hugger in the Making