Daily Pixels: Apocalypse Now?

This beast is sitting in our driveway tonight.  Mrs. Dude has it out on an extended test drive.

It’s got to be the apocalypse, right?

Are we about to buckle under the pressure?  Are we about to do the unthinkable?  Have we really become a minivan family?

I’ll preface this next line of thought by saying that my feelings could be drastically different if I was the chosen one to drive this monster on a daily basis, but deep down I kind of dig the minivan.

It has so much room!  And bucket seats in the back…that recline!  And doors on both sides.  And captain’s chairs in the front!

I’m going to get Mrs. Dude a captain’s hat to wear when she drives it.

I can picture us cruising to the beach, surfboard on the top (yeah it has roof racks!) the windows down in the front (because no other windows open in that tank), stereo up full blast, Mrs. Dude with the captain’s hat on, the kids each with their own seat in the back, and me reclined in one of the back bucket seats enjoying the ride…and asking if we’re there yet.

Awesome.  Where do we sign?

Apocalypse Now?

Apocalypse Now?

Daily Pixels: Game Changer

The Dude is frugal.

No two ways about it.  I don’t like to spend money if I don’t have to.

Mainly because there seems to be a shortage on the cashish for just about everyone these days.  Trying to keep a stash under your mattress seems like a wise idea.

Plus, knock-offs and generics usually provide pretty good opportunities to save a few bucks.

However, there are times when the old adage “you get what you pay for” rings true.  We just received our Baby Bjorn in the mail after three frustrating months with a knock-off, and it’s clear we should have opted for the name brand.

Baby Bjorns are awesome.  I’m not sure why the knock-offs don’t buy a Bjorn and copy it a bit better, but they don’t…at least not the one we had.  Simple, sturdy, durable, comfortable; everything the knock-off isn’t.

A game changer for me and Little Dude.  Comfortably attached to my chest, he can now be much more productive with the Dude around the house.  Thanks Baby Bjorn.

And the icing on the cake, my frugality has rubbed off on Mrs. Dude, and when we decided to bite the bullet and get the Baby Bjorn, she hunted it down on e-bay for half the price.  Sweet justice!

Game Changer

Week 11 – Hopscotch & Hurricanes

Hopscotch & Hurricanes

Hopscotch & Hurricanes

Life is full of decisions.  Infinite decisions with infinite possibilities.  Unique moments that shape our individual lives.

But more importantly, our decisions help shape the lives of those we share our days with.

As the dude of the house, my decisions will help mold the lives of the little ones that, by default, have to deal with me on an everyday basis.  I’ll have plenty of opportunities to embarrass with my decision making, and I’ll have ample opportunity to nudge them in the direction that seems most prudent according to my sensibilities.  Every decision won’t carry the same weight, but each choice offers the opportunity to create.  Create fun.  Create love. Create manors, and caring, and comfort, and trust.  Or our decisions can create the negative yin to this positive yang.

Mistakes are inevitable, but the Dude’s goal is to make every attempt possible to create some positive yang for the brood to embrace.

When was the last time you played hopscotch?  Are there rules?  Or is it like Monopoly where every family has house rules?

The Dude and The Princess decided to enjoy an afternoon of hopscotching.

I think the Princess saw it at school.  I’m a sucker for games that require hopping on one foot, so when she asked, I was all in.

I’m not sure if I’ve ever actually played hopscotch according to a set of rules, so I decided to take a quick spin through Google.  After consulting the most accurate online source of information, obviously Wikipedia, I was saddled with some rules and headed outside with The Princess toting a collection of rainbow colored chalk.

With a loose grip on childhood memories and the aid of the fat orange chalk, the Dude was able to reconstruct the layout of a hopscotch board on the driveway.  Numbered one through 6, with one spot for a double jump and a free landing zone at the top, we got down to business.

I began to recite the rules, and The Princess commenced the hopping as the first words passed over my lips.  I stumbled through the set of rules, as The Princess lurched on one foot from one number to the next, landed a perfect double jump, spun like a ballerina in the free zone, wobbled and regained her balance bending to pick up the marker, and finished out of breath at my feet.

My old man brain was having a difficult time recalling the rules I consumed two minutes prior. It’s safe to say that five year old squash wasn’t executing a flawless hopscotch routine and taking in the rules at the same time.

Ah ha, an opportunity for fatherly decision making.  What to do now?  Should the Dude stick to the rules and slow the hopscotching to make sure The Princess understands the regulations?  I guess there’s some merit to this decision; there’s something to be said for following directions, especially when making the attempt to create a competitive environment.  And The Princess is reaching the age of competition; Tai Kwan Do just ended, and soccer and dance will begin in the next couple weeks.  Rules and directions will be important.

But how important are rules?  Aren’t they meant to be broken?  Don’t we all bend them to some degree?  Should a five year old’s creativity and enjoyment be hampered by an arbitrary set of rules?

My guess is you know the decision that was made.

We followed the rules The Princess created on the fly and worked up a sweat hopping on one foot, while laughing and ignoring the guidelines bestowed by the all-knowing Wikipedia.

And for all you hopscotch novices, like the Dude, it’s more tiring than you expect.  If I’m sore in the morning from our new activity, I will be severely disappointed with this aging process.

Luckily, The Princess’ span of attention is about as short as the Dude’s endurance, and we turned from hopping to drawing hearts and flowers pretty quickly.

A minor decision with limited impact on the future.  Then again, who knows.  If one decision leads to another, and the Dude is able to balance on the thin line between complying with and ignoring the rules, perhaps the young ones can be groomed to think for themselves, within reason.  But there are a lot of “if’s” in life.

On the other hand, some decisions are loaded with significance from the get go.

The Dude Family Vacation was cut short this week due to the threat of Mama Nature’s vengence.  Hurricane Earl was groovin’ up the East Coast, and we were in its path.  At its peak, it was a Category 4 storm with winds up to 145 mph.

This would have been a relatively exciting event for bachelor Dude, but family Dude had to look at this from a completely new set of decisions.  Rather than determining how much beer to get to witness Mother Nature’s wrath, the Dude and the Mrs. had to consider escape routes and whether to outrun the storm.  With kids involved, especially an 11 week old, how much danger can we expose them to?

Sure, hurricanes are unpredictable, and it could be a non-event, but hurricanes are unpredictable, so the flip side is that it could be a significant event.

Seems like a no-brainer.  145 mph winds = kids need to hit the road.  But every decision is fraught with multiple angles to consider.

  • The predicted path of the hurricane does not have it on a direct collision course.  How fast will the winds actually be?
  • Will the hurricane slow on its own?  Move out to sea?
  • Does the Captain go down with the ship?  Shouldn’t someone be here to look after the house and our limited belongings?
  • The Dude’s employment is somewhat hinged on providing support during a natural event.
  • It’s never a good time to be displaced, especially if the entire family isn’t together.
  • How long could the displacement last?
  • What risks need to be considered?

The Dude and the Mrs. hemmed and hawed until the last minute, but in the end, Mrs. Dude and the kiddos hit the road to stay with a cousin, and the Dude and the dogs held down the fort.

Hurricane Earl began to slow and stayed out to sea, so it was a relatively uneventful storm, but at just 80 miles off the coast, it was a nail-biter up to the end.  While relatively low, the winds and rain were still pretty intense, confirming the assumption that 145 mph would be outright destruction.

Never fun to be apart, but we made the right choice.  When Mrs. Dude’s motherly instincts speak up, it’s imperative for us to listen, even when it’s a tough decision.

I have faith that the Dude and the Mrs. can handle almost anything the world throws our way.  And statistically, they were probably in more danger driving in a car than facing the hurricane.  But it’s our job create with our decisions, and given the choice to create safety and comfort or the possibility of fear and mayhem, the choice seems obvious.  We need to craft environments of safety that build trust.

At some age, a hurricane experience is probably worthwhile.  (I think I was eight when my parents hunkered the family down in the house to ride out a Category 2 storm.) However, at this point in time, our kids need to enjoy the safety Mom and Dad can provide, not Mother Nature’s yin.

So, I guess the lesson from week 11 is choose wisely.  What do we want to create with our decisions?

Daily Pixels: Dude Family Vacation

The Dude has been on hiatus due to a family vaca and some raucous dude named Earl.  However, we’re all home safe and sound now, so the posting can resume.

Not only can the Dude pack a dishwasher like no one’s business, but the packing skills handed down through the generations carry over to the family truckster as well.

Even Beans found a spot.

Keep in mind, this was a four day trip.  And you can’t see the four people, two additional dogs, and other miscellaneous items strategically packed in the front.

Family Truckster

Family Truckster

Breakin’ Wood…Hearts are Next

Let this be fair warning for all future dudes; The Priness is one tough cookie.

Here’s the Dude’s take on an 80’s video montage (think Rocky training in the mountains of Russia) to celebrate The Princess’ first Tae Kwan Do experience, which cluminated with a broken piece of wood and a yellow stripe accenting her pretty white belt.

Congrats Princess. We are so proud of you.

PS – Bonus points if you can name the movie the song is from.

Week Nine – Chaos

Big Eyes

Big Eyes

Six kids.  One roof.

8 weeks, 11 weeks, 2, 4, 5, and 6 years.

There is no way to describe week nine other than chaos.  Pure, unadulterated chaos.

We had the pleasure of my sister and the kids visiting from Sunday to Thursday, and included in their luggage is a guaranteed bag o’ chaos.

As a primo example, towards the close of the first full day of the ruckus, both infants had wails and tears pouring out of them while one brother bit the other, eliciting more screams and tears, and the two year old princess proceeded to pee directly on the bathroom floor (Why?  “Because I like to pee on the floor.”  How do you argue with that logic?).  At the same time.  A complete overload.

To offer one more example, my sister felt it would be a good idea to leave Little Dude and my newest nephew alone with the Dude while the rest of the gaggle went around the corner to play.  “Both are sleeping.  Nothing to worry about.”

Really?  How long do you think that slumber will last once all scent of mommy vacates the building?  Right, long enough for them to be out of screaming distance.

The Intimidator

The Intimidator

I wrestled with two screaming infants for 25 minutes, and I use the term “infant” very loosely.  I can handle Little Dude, and he does resemble an infant.  However, The Intimidator, he is a completely different story.

These infants are nineteen days apart, but on the growth chart they are 75 percentage points apart, 25% to 95%!  Can an infant intimidate a grown man?

Simple answer, yes.  I consider myself a strapping young man (sounds like something my grandmother would say), but this kid had my number for 25 minutes.

It was like wrestling a toddler.  I love the swaddle.  I swaddle Little Dude and put him out in minutes.  The Intimidator kicked out of my tightly constructed swaddle before I could pick him up.  And before he commenced his true scream, I think he laughed at me…in my face.  Then he proceeded to scream with the low radio voice of Cassey Cassum.  I swear this 11 week old baby had a deeper voice than me.

In between my prayers and walking from one end of the house to the other, Little Dude would chime in with his own scream fest.  They fed off each other for 25 minutes.

Right. Chaos.

Chaos tends to have a negative connotation, and these tales seem to lend credence to that negative perspective, but chaos isn’t necessarily a bad thing.

Chaos theory is an intriguing school of thought that weaves an intricate mosaic of mathematics, physics, economics and philosophy to develop a theory of behavior for dynamic systems that are highly sensitive to seemingly insignificant conditions  I.E. the “butterfly effect,” where the flapping of a butterfly’s wings in Africa is theorized to make a considerable impact in the development of weather conditions across the globe.

This understanding of chaos can hardly be considered negative.  It draws a  complicated network of connections from the irrelevant to the significant.  It brings an intense focus to average events.  It forces us to live in the “now,” and pay attention to the variety of stimulus and activity occurring around us at all times.  The majority of spiritual practices seem to point towards this same focus.  Hardly negative.

Otherwise, if we neglect to appreciate the mundane, minor actions will have much larger, potentially detrimental, effects.

That’s right, I just tied mathematics, physics, economics, philosophy, spirituality, and parenting together under a single theory.  That adds a lot more importance to week nine.

But, it makes sense.  With six kids running around, every action becomes important.  Every decision plays a role in how the next decision will play out.

Technically, this is true for every decision we ever make, but life with six kids is far less forgiving than “normal life.”  Every decision needs to be executed to perfection or you’ll pay the price, which is usually a crying, diaper filled baby that can’t be calmed or an explosion of glitter that covers the floor like Times Square on January 1.  Either one not the end of the world, but definite speed bumps that lead to increased chaos with six rug rats running the show.

“Living in the now,” and “going with the flow” become necessary requirements.  As The Dude wisely bestowed in The Big Lebowski, the Dude abides.

Abiding is the only way to survive in chaos.

Unfortunately, this is easier said than done.

The population at Casa de Dude consisted of six kids, the Dude and the Mrs., my sister, and her au pair.  My brother-in-law stayed home to work (Wink, wink.  You’re welcome for the vacation), so the Dude was the sole hombre of the casa.

This is a tough line to walk.  Dude of the house, fun uncle, and peaceful warrior abiding every minor step of the way.  Is it possible to maintain such a focus?…without an elevated level of stress?

Mrs. Dude thinks I’m a different person when the chaos ensues.  She’s probably right.  Maintaining an increased level of alertness requires a different frame of mind.  But with practice, stress dissipates and relaxation grows.

I tend to handle the chaos of two better than the chaos of six, but the exposure is developing my tolerance.  I watch my sister’s level of calm patience with every minor explosion, and I realize how much she is controlling the chaos.  If she allowed her butterfly wings to flutter aggressively with every tiny issue, the chaos would be pushed down the road of destruction rather than fun very quickly.

This tolerance takes time to develop, but it’s great to feel the calluses of parenting growing on the fabric of the Dude’s daily existence.  This tolerance and attention to detail are great habits to develop.  They will pay dividends as the kids grow…and as we visit with family more and more.

Little Dude embraced this attitude throughout week nine.  He has shown an increased level of peace and tranquility.  He handled six kids without any increased level of stress.

Although, he did get his two month vaccinations on Friday which led to the need for increased comforting for a couple days, but the peace and tranquility seem to be habits that are sticking around.  I guess the Dude has a lot to learn from Little Dude too.

Daily Pixels: Self-soothing

So close to finding that thumb.

The Dude and the Mrs. were big time thumb suckers as bambinos.  My parents had to duct tape socks to my hands to get me to stop…they also duct taped our couch when I was growing up, apparently duct tape does fix everything.

Seems thumb-sucking is in our blood.

How great will it be when he figures this out?  May the Force be with you Little Dude.

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