Santa Has Rules

Rain on the weekend is usually a bummer.  But after a 12 hour shift of manual labor on Saturday, a rainy Sunday is somewhat of a blessing.

I intended to catch-up on some yard work and clean up the work area from Saturday’s project, but just as I started, the rain began to fall.  Being forced inside was a bit frustrating at first, but a relaxing day inside grew on me pretty quickly.

However, for kids, a day inside is the antithesis of relaxing.  I’m not sure if we get lazier as we age, but parents clearly don’t share the same level of energy as kids.  And when they are locked inside with limited options for entertainment the pent up energy begins to build.  By 3PM the built up energy is ready to explode.

Signs of nervous energy begin to grow.  The feet start tapping.  The body starts to move.  Spontaneous dancing.  Lots of spinning in circles.  Attempts are made to turn furniture into trampolines.  Eventually it leads to pestering the parents looking for something to do.

The Princess started her Sunday lock-down with all of the above, which eventually led to following the Dude around the house, primarily hanging off my clothes, but also telling the same jokes over and over.  And I use the word jokes loosely.  It was mainly the Princess hiding where I can see her and then jumping out to scare me.  Clearly we needed some activities.

After listening to “I want that,” following every commercial, it occurred to me to have The Princess create a letter/list for Santa.  Yes, I know it’s only October, and don’t get me started on the concept of  Santa, but from a practical perspective, I see the value in kids using their imagination, this will give her time to think through what she’s asking for, and most importantly, this will easily kill an hour in lock-down.

However, prior to starting this process, the Dude needed to lay down some ground rules.

Dude:  “Santa likes to bring you gifts that help make you a well rounded person.  Like art, music, books, or paints.

The Princess:  “No, he brings toys.”

Dude:  “OK.  He likes to bring toys too.  But he has rules.  1.  Santa needs specifics.  2.  He will not bring the same toys you already have. And 3.  He will not bring multiples of the same toy.”

The Princess:  “Whatever.”

The Dude is easily dismissed, but I’m also the funding behind Santa, so these were necessary rules.

The Princess likes to explain what she wants with vague descriptions like “It’s small, but gets big.  And it’s round.  And you can play with it.”  Any idea what that might be?  I have no clue.  She also likes to ask for the newer versions of toys she already has that are collecting dust in her room.  And lastly, she likes to ask for complete sets of toys.  Like every My Little Pony.  Do you know how many MLP’s there are?  I don’t either, but The Princess does, and she can name each of them.  She wants all of them…even though they all look the same, do the same thing (nothing), and an abundance are collecting dust in her room.

So, Santa needs some rules.

Dear Santa,

I’m The Princess, and I’m super rad!

Hearts & Stars 4-Eva.

Love,
The Princess

  1. Unicorn pillow pet
  2. Barbie & the Mermaid Tail movie
  3. I have plenty of lipstick.
  4. Squeekies

It’s a work in progress, but the process was fun, it gave The Princess a reason to concentrate and think, and it burned some time.  All around winner.

The thought process definitely burned a bit of energy, but not nearly enough.  So, after the Santa exercise, we resorted to the simplest form of rainy day entertainment.  Rain boots, raincoat, and some splashing in the rain.

Singing In the Rain

Singing In the Rain

Daily Pixels: The Belly Button Store

A few days ago, The Princess and I were enjoying some time in the yard.  I forget what we were doing, but I suspect it was the usual “time in the yard” activities.  I was most likely inspecting the plants, and The Princess was probably swinging.

I decided to head in, and I mentioned “Let’s go in and see what Mommy and Little Dude are doing.”

The Princess replied with, “Nope.  I’m going to the belly button…the belly button store.  To get a new belly button.”

Awesome.

I wasn’t sure what to make of it.  I laughed and headed in.

Such a great comment.  Out of nowhere.

Does this mean she’s growing up, and her imagination and humor are taking shape?  Or is she’s holding on to the innocence of early childhood and talking nonsense?

She knew it was funny.  I think she was telling a joke.

She loves going to school now.  And she’s learning a lot in the first month.  All signs are pointing to The Princess doing a great job growing up.

And tonight was the next step towards adulthood; no more booster seat.  She made the request, so we made it happen.

We’ll see how it goes, but I think it’s in storage until Little Dude needs it.

Booster Seat

Booster Seat

No Booster

No Booster Seat

Zen and the Art of Parenting

Zen and the Art of Parenting

Zen and the Art of Parenting

Zen and the Art of Parenting

It’s 2010.  We have women’s suffrage.  Women have broken through the “glass ceiling” in corporations worldwide.  I read the other day that for the first time, more women are now graduating with PhD’s than men!

Women have made huge strides in equality, but from where I sit, Mom’s still keep the house together.  I think it’s an instinctual ability.

When Dad  steps in on a solo mission, there’s always a chance for a little craziness.  The mission will be accomplished, but it’s never quite as smooth as when Mom handles it.

Tuesday offered a good test.  The Princess had her first dance class, followed by soccer practice numero dos, and Mrs. Dude had her first photography class.  It was a busy day.  Tuesdays will be busy for a few weeks.  If you do the math, this leaves the Dude managing all parental tasks including to and from soccer, dinner, bath, bed…sans Mrs. Dude.

Solo parenting is tough.  There are a lot of challenges managing multiple little lives.

Parenting definitely creates an environment conducive to increased levels of stress.  Opportunities to worry.  Reasons for frustration.

But, it also gives us a catalyst to focus on the moment we’re living in.   Worrying and/or getting  frustrated with kids makes the situation that much more difficult to handle.  Kids sense emotions and energy, and when the energy is off, kids tend to shut down.

It’s an interesting task running a solo mission and trying to balance peace and tranquility with the hurdles along the way.

Ever heard of the book Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance?  It grabs my attention every time I see it at a bookstore.  I’ve never read it.  I don’t have a motorcycle.

But, based on assumptions I’m making solely from the title, I think parenting offers similar opportunities to motorcycle maintenance.  Parenting is stressful, but we have a choice between letting stress get to us or going with the flow.

I’m no Zen scholar, but my loose understanding could be summed up with the phrase “going with the flow.”

So, Zen and the Art of Parenting.

I approached this solo mission as most dads would, blindly.  I didn’t give it much thought.  See, dads tend to stumble our way through things.  Like that whole not asking for directions stereotype…it’s a stereotype for a reason.

I planned to leave work a little early, pick up the kids, and hit the road.  Shouldn’t be more to it than that.

Except, he’s hungry and his milk supply is leaving to learn how to snap pictures, so it’s bottle time, it’s getting chilly so he needs to change, might as well change the diaper, make sure the diaper bag has all of the necessities, Princess needs to get dressed, she needs to find her cleats and shin guards…and put them on, she needs a water bottle, and the dogs should probably go out.

Ok.  Not quite as easy as pick up the kids and hit the road.  Thankfully Mommy was there to offer these suggestions prior to me leaving the house with a hungry, underdressed baby, and a soccer player without her gear.

To test my stress levels, these instances always seem to stretch to the last second of available time.  So, we’re rushing out the door.  But there’s really no rushing with a five year old and a 3 month old.  Life just moves at a slower pace.

I realized this as we meandered to the car, and I decided to move slower but more deliberately.  Give myself time to make decisive actions, and ultimately move at the pace kids move.  But more importantly, I was focusing on the task at hand…the present moment.  I was moving slower, but I was more efficient with my actions.

We pile in, and Little Dude starts to wail before we’re out of the driveway.  He’s been doing this in his seat lately.  Not a big fan of being locked down.  But we didn’t have time for consoling.

We hit the road, and I reached behind me trying to soothe him.  Yeah, not the safest idea, but a screaming baby requires a bit of risk taking.

As I pull to a three-way stop in the neighborhood, I let the car to my right and the car across from me go before me.  Both slightly beat me to the intersection.  Once they passed, I made my way through the intersection, and some dude decided he was playing the role of Citizen Patrol and yelled “Nice stop!” at me.

I’m still reaching back trying to soothe a screaming baby.  The windows are down, so he should be able to see this.  This seems like a situation where regardless of a minor traffic infraction, you should probably give the driver the benefit of the doubt.

Plus, I did stop!  I let two people go!  Perhaps I was rolling slightly, but it was a stop.

It seems like these types of situations always happen at the most inopportune time.  A perfect opportunity for me to lose it.  But before any words could pass over my lips, my mind jumped back in and reminded me slow down.  Getting upset isn’t going to make this trip any easier.

In a minute or so I was passed it, but Little Dude was not past his screaming.  I pulled over and was able to calmly tuck some blankets around him, and he was asleep in seconds.  If I had been mad, that stop would not have been that easy.

Zen and the Art of Parenting

Zen and the Art of Parenting

Eventually we made it to the parking lot.  As I’m wrestling with the Bjorn, the pacifier bounces out of his blankets and rolls under the car.  At this point I’m relaxing into things, and rather than letting that be the straw that breaks my will, I recruit The Princess, and she crawls under to grab it.

We roll into practice a couple minutes late, but we are all in good spirits, and we didn’t miss much.

Mission accomplished.

Well, except that whole dinner, bath, bed thing.  But the kids were great, and I was practicing my Zen and the Art of Parenting, and we were good to go.  Whatever minor hurdles we encountered along the way we easily surmounted.

And the reward for a job well done, other than the opportunity to practice a little Zen, is a hug and kiss goodnight from a princess and  some Dude/Little Dude bonding time with lots of silly voices, tickles, smiles, and a five second lock of the eyes where it was clear connections were being made.

My boy is starting to realize who his Daddy is.  Glad I was in the Zen frame of mind to enjoy the moment…well, five seconds anyway.

Daily Pixels: The Princess Gets Her Dance On!

Videos have pixels, right?  Well we’re extending our Daily Pixels to include videos.  How ya like me now?!

Last week I discussed The Princess’ sportiness, or lack thereof.  I’m happy to report that after a little more tutoring and the second team practice, The Princess is feeling more confident on the soccer field. 

I witnessed her feet moving fast enough to be considered a run, and I even saw her steal the ball from another rugrat during practice! 

However, she did spend the majority of the practice staring off in the distance rather than listening to the coach, and she’s become very skilled at staying just far enough from the herd surrounding the ball to make it look like she’s trying to be involved, but not really. 

Definitely lacking that killer instinct.  Perhaps princesses aren’t supposed to be killers. 

But, hey, we’re improving.

However, like I mentioned in my last post, dance is probably a bit more natural for The Princess.  She had her first dance class on Tuesday, and the teacher actually pulled Mrs. Dude aside after the class to say she was impressed with the confidence and poise The Princess had. 

And if that’s not enough to demonstrate The Princess natural inclinations, this video should seal the deal.  I haven’t seen this kind of fire and enthusiasm for a split second on the soccer field.  She is a free-flowing dance machine! 

Everyone is made different, and apparently The Princess was made with dance in her blood!

Daily Pixels: Sporty Spice

The Princess started soccer this week.

We’ve been building up to this for a while; little black cleats with pink accents, black socks/shinguards to match the black cleats, and some Dude/Princess practice time.

Our practice time focused mainly on kicking, passing, and stopping the ball.  Some good basics, but our practice wasn’t very consistent or intense.  Lots of lolly-gagging and goofing around.

The Princess did get a hang of the basics.  She can pass the ball and stop it pretty well.  But after witnessing the first official practice, I realize some additional basics would be helpful.

Soccer was the Dude’s jam back in the day.  I played from age 5 – 20, including a couple years in college.  So, needless to say, my hopes may have been set a bit high.

I played a lot; rec, travel, club, college.  But I’ve never coached.  Playing and teaching are two different things.  After doing something for years, the basics become some ingrained that it’s easy to overlook the learning process that led to the assimilation of the skills.

The Dude/Princess practice time didn’t focus much on the rules or physicality of soccer.  We didn’t focus on the running, bumping, falling, positions, watching the ball, what to do when the ball is not near you, or even what the goal is for.

This was the Princess’ first go at a full scale team practice of any kind, and her first real experience with soccer.  Not to mention it is a 5-6 year old league, and she’s 5, so most of the other kids are bigger and have experience.

It’s a lot to take in, so I’m giving her the benefit of the doubt, and I can honestly say that she did a great job just being there and not getting overwhelmed.  However, “sporty” may not be the adjective we use to describe The Princess.  I’m still holding out hope, but words like pretty, sweet, graceful, artistic, friendly, or great style may be more fitting.

My gut is saying that dance (starting next week), may be a bit more natural.  But I’m still holding out hope, and we’ll have some additional Dude/Princess practice time today.

This picture is a bit deceiving.  It looks like she’s actually running!  My guess is it was just a fast walk.  Most of her practice time was spent chatting it up with a girl in a pink shirt (she’s attracted to pink like a bee to a flower), spinning in circles, and avoiding the ball.

At one point, The Princess and another underachiever were actually sitting on the field talking (yes, sitting) while the rest of the team played a scrimmage and raced towards the idle chatters.  Luckily she realized the group was hurdling towards them and was able to get out of the way at the last second.  However, getting out of the way of the ball is generally frowned upon when you are the last line of defense.

Oh well, she survived her first soccer experience, and we’re looking forward to practice number two this week.  But we’ll have a little extra Dude/Princess practice time.

And I’ve started subliminal messages to Little Dude to get him mentally prepared for his time on the pitch.  After this experience, I figure it’s never too early to start.

Sporty Spice

Sporty Spice

Week 11 – Hopscotch & Hurricanes

Hopscotch & Hurricanes

Hopscotch & Hurricanes

Life is full of decisions.  Infinite decisions with infinite possibilities.  Unique moments that shape our individual lives.

But more importantly, our decisions help shape the lives of those we share our days with.

As the dude of the house, my decisions will help mold the lives of the little ones that, by default, have to deal with me on an everyday basis.  I’ll have plenty of opportunities to embarrass with my decision making, and I’ll have ample opportunity to nudge them in the direction that seems most prudent according to my sensibilities.  Every decision won’t carry the same weight, but each choice offers the opportunity to create.  Create fun.  Create love. Create manors, and caring, and comfort, and trust.  Or our decisions can create the negative yin to this positive yang.

Mistakes are inevitable, but the Dude’s goal is to make every attempt possible to create some positive yang for the brood to embrace.

When was the last time you played hopscotch?  Are there rules?  Or is it like Monopoly where every family has house rules?

The Dude and The Princess decided to enjoy an afternoon of hopscotching.

I think the Princess saw it at school.  I’m a sucker for games that require hopping on one foot, so when she asked, I was all in.

I’m not sure if I’ve ever actually played hopscotch according to a set of rules, so I decided to take a quick spin through Google.  After consulting the most accurate online source of information, obviously Wikipedia, I was saddled with some rules and headed outside with The Princess toting a collection of rainbow colored chalk.

With a loose grip on childhood memories and the aid of the fat orange chalk, the Dude was able to reconstruct the layout of a hopscotch board on the driveway.  Numbered one through 6, with one spot for a double jump and a free landing zone at the top, we got down to business.

I began to recite the rules, and The Princess commenced the hopping as the first words passed over my lips.  I stumbled through the set of rules, as The Princess lurched on one foot from one number to the next, landed a perfect double jump, spun like a ballerina in the free zone, wobbled and regained her balance bending to pick up the marker, and finished out of breath at my feet.

My old man brain was having a difficult time recalling the rules I consumed two minutes prior. It’s safe to say that five year old squash wasn’t executing a flawless hopscotch routine and taking in the rules at the same time.

Ah ha, an opportunity for fatherly decision making.  What to do now?  Should the Dude stick to the rules and slow the hopscotching to make sure The Princess understands the regulations?  I guess there’s some merit to this decision; there’s something to be said for following directions, especially when making the attempt to create a competitive environment.  And The Princess is reaching the age of competition; Tai Kwan Do just ended, and soccer and dance will begin in the next couple weeks.  Rules and directions will be important.

But how important are rules?  Aren’t they meant to be broken?  Don’t we all bend them to some degree?  Should a five year old’s creativity and enjoyment be hampered by an arbitrary set of rules?

My guess is you know the decision that was made.

We followed the rules The Princess created on the fly and worked up a sweat hopping on one foot, while laughing and ignoring the guidelines bestowed by the all-knowing Wikipedia.

And for all you hopscotch novices, like the Dude, it’s more tiring than you expect.  If I’m sore in the morning from our new activity, I will be severely disappointed with this aging process.

Luckily, The Princess’ span of attention is about as short as the Dude’s endurance, and we turned from hopping to drawing hearts and flowers pretty quickly.

A minor decision with limited impact on the future.  Then again, who knows.  If one decision leads to another, and the Dude is able to balance on the thin line between complying with and ignoring the rules, perhaps the young ones can be groomed to think for themselves, within reason.  But there are a lot of “if’s” in life.

On the other hand, some decisions are loaded with significance from the get go.

The Dude Family Vacation was cut short this week due to the threat of Mama Nature’s vengence.  Hurricane Earl was groovin’ up the East Coast, and we were in its path.  At its peak, it was a Category 4 storm with winds up to 145 mph.

This would have been a relatively exciting event for bachelor Dude, but family Dude had to look at this from a completely new set of decisions.  Rather than determining how much beer to get to witness Mother Nature’s wrath, the Dude and the Mrs. had to consider escape routes and whether to outrun the storm.  With kids involved, especially an 11 week old, how much danger can we expose them to?

Sure, hurricanes are unpredictable, and it could be a non-event, but hurricanes are unpredictable, so the flip side is that it could be a significant event.

Seems like a no-brainer.  145 mph winds = kids need to hit the road.  But every decision is fraught with multiple angles to consider.

  • The predicted path of the hurricane does not have it on a direct collision course.  How fast will the winds actually be?
  • Will the hurricane slow on its own?  Move out to sea?
  • Does the Captain go down with the ship?  Shouldn’t someone be here to look after the house and our limited belongings?
  • The Dude’s employment is somewhat hinged on providing support during a natural event.
  • It’s never a good time to be displaced, especially if the entire family isn’t together.
  • How long could the displacement last?
  • What risks need to be considered?

The Dude and the Mrs. hemmed and hawed until the last minute, but in the end, Mrs. Dude and the kiddos hit the road to stay with a cousin, and the Dude and the dogs held down the fort.

Hurricane Earl began to slow and stayed out to sea, so it was a relatively uneventful storm, but at just 80 miles off the coast, it was a nail-biter up to the end.  While relatively low, the winds and rain were still pretty intense, confirming the assumption that 145 mph would be outright destruction.

Never fun to be apart, but we made the right choice.  When Mrs. Dude’s motherly instincts speak up, it’s imperative for us to listen, even when it’s a tough decision.

I have faith that the Dude and the Mrs. can handle almost anything the world throws our way.  And statistically, they were probably in more danger driving in a car than facing the hurricane.  But it’s our job create with our decisions, and given the choice to create safety and comfort or the possibility of fear and mayhem, the choice seems obvious.  We need to craft environments of safety that build trust.

At some age, a hurricane experience is probably worthwhile.  (I think I was eight when my parents hunkered the family down in the house to ride out a Category 2 storm.) However, at this point in time, our kids need to enjoy the safety Mom and Dad can provide, not Mother Nature’s yin.

So, I guess the lesson from week 11 is choose wisely.  What do we want to create with our decisions?

Breakin’ Wood…Hearts are Next

Let this be fair warning for all future dudes; The Priness is one tough cookie.

Here’s the Dude’s take on an 80’s video montage (think Rocky training in the mountains of Russia) to celebrate The Princess’ first Tae Kwan Do experience, which cluminated with a broken piece of wood and a yellow stripe accenting her pretty white belt.

Congrats Princess. We are so proud of you.

PS – Bonus points if you can name the movie the song is from.