Week Six – Firsts

Posted on August 2, 2010 by admin

Snoozing

Life is full of firsts. Firsts continue from day 1 to the end. I’m sure my Grandfather never realized we’d all be experiencing “Tweets” on regular basis. Not that he knows what a Tweet is, or email, but you get the point; we all have the potential to experience firsts until our last day.

Like every aspect of an infant’s life, firsts are intensified. Infants experience firsts at a breakneck pace. Everything is new to them. And new parents love to point out the firsts; first giggle, first hang nail, first poop on a Tuesday when it’s raining, etc.

The Dude and the Mrs. fall into the exuberant category when it comes to Little Dude’s firsts. We often comment to each other about silly firsts, but this week held some significant firsts…from the Dude’s perspective anyway.

First shower with Daddy. A short but sweet shower to close out the day and put a smile on Little Dude’s face…he digs the water.
First nap on Daddy’s chest. Up to this point, Little Dude had a hard time getting comfortable and staying still long enough to nap with the Dude, but the bonding is getting stronger and Little Dude’s calm periods are extending…hopefully.
Mower

First time mowing the lawn with Daddy. I have a rad new (old, but new to me) “reel” mower (think 1950’s-style push mower) that’s lightweight and makes no noise, so Little Dude was able to nap in the front pack while the Dude mowed away.
First trip to the beach. Saturday offered a relatively cool and overcast day, so we took the opportunity to get Little Dude acclimated to the beach. His first experience consisted mainly of nursing. Mrs. Dude wouldn’t let me take him body surfing.
The start of his first Shark Week on Discovery. The beach and Shark Week are not related in any way. The Dude likes to think of sharks like unicorns, imaginary…don’t tell the Princess unicorns aren’t real.
First evident quality inherited from the Dude. Mrs. Dude has some strong genes. Little Dude is an identical replica of the Mrs. when she was an infant; people have actually mistaken her baby pictures as Little Dude. It’s been a struggle to find the Dude in The Boy, but not anymore. Mrs. Dude declared this week that Little Dude has the Dude’s toes! That’s right, he’s my boy! Yeah, it’s just toes, and I’m kind of thinking the Mrs. was just being nice, but I’ll take it.

Crankiness Update:

Acid reflux was confirmed this week, and we got an increased dose of medicine. Mrs. Dude also cut out any food with taste from her diet to be safe. Thankfully, these adjustments seem to be working…for now. The acid reflux symptoms have decreased quite a bit. Notice, I did not say the crankiness has decreased.

In the ever-changing landscape of an infant, another crankiness source arrived on the scene. Could The Boy be hungry? He’s eating almost every two hours, but this week, the “I need food now” cry has increased in frequency and intensity.

We decided to do a little experiment. Mrs. Dude pumped while I fed Little Dude a 4 oz. bottle. He downed the bottle in about 20 minutes, and passed out for four hours. Mrs. Dude was only able to pump 2 oz. This isn’t a definitive answer. He may get more when he nurses, and it’s only one test, but it does show interesting results. Could it be that he’s not eating enough?

He’s gaining weight faster than expected, so clearly he’s eating. Perhaps a growth spurt this week? We are going to try to work in some additional pumping in an attempt to increase the milk supply and build some more reserves (and by “we” I mean Mrs. Dude…thanks Mommy), and keep an eye out for the hungry symptoms.

We’ll see what excitement week seven brings.

Week Five – Change

Posted on July 25, 2010 by admin

“The only constant is change.”

It’s difficult to find the precise source of this quote, but after extensive research (i.e. five minutes on Wikipedia), I’ve decided to give credit to Heraclitus, a Greek philosopher…mainly because he’s a really old dude (c.535 BC – 475 BC).

This is about as close to “fact” as you can get; as such it is a widely understood and accepted saying…almost common sense. Hence the difficulty finding the precise source.

I think the idea of change as a constant may be referred to as entropy in physics, but I’m all researched out now, so I’ll let The Professor (aka Little Bill, Papa, Dude’s Padre) correct me in the comments section if need be.

We all work every day to maintain the great aspects of our life and change those aspects that need some improvements…or at least we should be working hard at this every day. But, in the end, change will win; we can only prolong the inevitable. Nature will take its course and change will prevail.

This should not imply that we should commit any less effort to maintaining what we love; that’s arguably the most important thing we can do in life. But we should be able to accept change as a fact of life…perhaps even use change to our advantage.

For a short life span of five weeks, change is intensified. 20% of the Dude’s life is 6.6 years. Change across that period is relatively mild. The Little Dude on the other hand is in hyper drive; 20% of his life was spent last week. Change across this period is pretty intense…for child and parents.

We ended week four with what appeared to be a mysterious choking episode for Little Dude. I could have noted this in last week’s Lessons, but I really didn’t know what to make of it so I left it out.

The plot thickened in week five, and with some added information, the “choking” is now seen in a clearer light.

Last Saturday, Little Dude was sleeping in his swing (five feet from us) while the Dude and Mrs. Dude half watched tv and half watched The Boy. About 45 minutes into his slumber, he woke up with a loud screech and then went silent immediately. Mrs. Dude noticed that the air flow seemed to stop and jumped up to scoop him out of the swing. The Dude, being a Dude, was a bit more slow to react, but the level of distress was clear in Mrs. Dude’s face (her Mommy Senses kicked in quickly!), and she was a bit frozen with Little Dude in her hands, so I grabbed him, flipped him over and began to pat his back. With a whimper, the breathing was back in probably 30 seconds, but it was an intense 30 seconds, and there was no breath and no noise during that time…an eerie silence.

There was no way he choked on anything. Nothing in his swing with him, he was in there for 45 minutes, and we were watching the entire time.

It shook us a bit. We contemplated a visit to the Emergency Room, but Little Dude was immediately back to normal and enjoying his swing; so the Dude, being a Dude, convinced the Mrs. to skip the trip. But in return, I stayed up and watched Little Dude the entire night to make sure everything was status quo.

I enjoyed some late night yoga to stay awake, and Little Dude slept like, well, a baby. We switched shifts at the 6:30 AM feeding and kept him on watch the rest of the day. After the 24 hour surveillance, we felt pretty confident Little Dude was ok. However, we were still pretty confused by the experience.

Mrs. Dude conducted some further research (luckily her research is a bit more extensive than the Dude’s) down a path mentioned by the Pediatrician, and we are now adding a new variable to our “Poop Rules My Life” theory. It seems to us that poop and heartburn rule Little Dude’s life.

The Mrs. found this link about an infant “choking” due to acid reflux and this list of acid reflux symptoms. Not only does the article describe the “choking” episode almost word for word, but the additional symptoms are pretty spot on with The Little One.

Unfortunately, the acid reflux seems to be gaining momentum in week five and the past few days have seen an increase in spit up and some crankiness reminiscent of earlier weeks. We’ve been using some meds the Dr. gave us “just in case,” but they don’t seem strong enough or The Boy has already outgrown the dose prescribed. So, back to the Dr. tomorrow.

I’m not sure if we’ve figured out how to use this intense period of change to our advantage just yet, but we are doing our best to accept it and move on to the next curve life throws our way.

Luckily, the Dude and the Little Dude have found a calming mechanism they can both agree on; the vacuum. My guess is a burned out vacuum could be in our future, but if The Little One is happy, that’s a change I’m willing to accept.

Baby's Best Friend

PS – Here’s one of my favorite songs about change. The video is on the strange side, but the song is pretty good…plus, the Dude is a sucker for some good harmonica.

Week Four – Poop Rules My Life

Posted on July 20, 2010 by admin

Little Dude Snoozing

As the Dude ventures down the path of blogging about family life, including a newborn, it’s inevitable that the subject matter will veer towards poop at some point…possibly often. Given the first four weeks with Little Dude, my guess is poop could be a highly discussed topic.

Week four seems to be giving us some indication of the crankiness source. We are not overly confident in this theory, infants are a fickle lot, but all signs point to some sort of development, or lack thereof, with digestion.

Poop is what it is. A natural fact of life. But for an infant, and especially Little Dude, it’s pretty much a matter of survival. Really, everything at the age of four weeks is a matter of survival; it’s hard to be tiny, defenseless, and completely confused by everything around you. But, for Little Dude, poop seems to be his kryptonite. Serious discomfort.

The Boy shares hints of the serene quietness conjured in the mind’s eye with the thought of an “infant,” but the quiet periods have been short-lived. Those tiny hints of calm have been separated by eating, sleeping, and fussiness. However, the calmness is gaining strength, and Mrs. Dude reported today the Little One was smiling all day. Smiles are a rare occurrence, never mind a full day event.

His body is beginning to operate more efficiently, and the stretches of calm, sometimes even happy, states are increasing. The waves of fussiness are almost always ended by some form of gas; burp, fart, poop (he’s such a dude!). Once he gets it out, the calm spreads through his body. Uncomfortable digestion seems to be the source, and now that the digestion seems to be running a bit more smoothly, the periods of fussiness are decreasing…in length anyway.

This is a big improvement from week three where colic was able to maintain a strong position on the list of possibilities. We may not be able to discount the Big C completely, but we are rapidly moving past this theory…or, at least the Dude is using the power of positive thinking.

In parts of the East Coast where I’ve lived, there is a cliché about the weather that seems to apply to infants (probably most aspects of life); if you don’t like the weather, wait an hour. In other words, if you are faced with a challenge, a thunder storm or a fussy baby, give it some time, things will change.

Just when we get this digestion figured out, I’m sure another challenge will develop, but for now, it’s great to see the Little Dude moving past the largest challenge in his life….and we’ll be ready to tackle the next one.

PS – Since we’re on the subject of bodily functions; I love how changing a boy’s diaper is similar to participating in a cheesy game show. Every time I’m wrestling with the Little Dude to change his diaper, I feel like I’m on an Asian game show with tacky English humor being dubbed in.

How quickly can you separate the cloth from the clammy skin, apply a goopy white substance, drag his butt in the air, slip a new diaper under, and grapple with the flailing limbs to secure the sticky straps, all before you’re sprayed in the face? There are a range of theories to prevent this hilarious struggle, but reality tends to trump theory. Babies are surprisingly strong and pee is difficult to shield. Changing requires speed and efficiency.

There should be a Dad Olympics.

Week Three – The Baby Blur

Posted on July 14, 2010 by admin

Little Dude Week Tres

With the week one exuberance and the week two naïve belief in routines behind us, we are working through week three, where the true baby blur starts to set in. Actually, I could be wrong…is this week three? I’ve completely lost track of time.

Limited sleep is not easy, but at some point nature takes over and limited sleep is turned from groggy crankiness into a calm blur that is almost manageable…almost, i.e. the Baby Blur. The Dude and the Mrs. have conversations about how Little Dude is sleeping and who got up when, but most of these conversations fizzle out when one of us asks, “wait, was that last night or the day before…or two nights ago?”

There is just no way to keep track of time when the clock has become an irrelevant decoration on the nightstand. When The Boy is up, we are up, and there’s no way to combat that fact; so it becomes an exercise of acceptance, and with acceptance comes a somewhat peaceful blur.

Little Dude is settling in pretty well. He’s eating and gaining weight, the small amount of jaundice is pretty much eliminated, his belly button is about 99% healed, and he’s starting to show signs of smiling. However, he has been a bit uncomfortable over the past week or two.

There are a wide array of theories about the source of this discomfort, but the Dude is realizing that while everyone has great insights and valuable experience, when it comes to an infant (and probably all aspects of life) no one really knows; we’re all guessing and making estimates based on the experiences we’ve had in our individual pasts…life is one big mystery composed of a series of experiments from start to finish.

Luckily, the Dude and the Mrs. have a stable of valuable advisors with extensive baby experience. When one piece of advice (or guess) doesn’t work, there is no shortage of suggestions waiting to be applied.

The gas medicine that I mentioned in last week’s Lessons does seem to help the Little Dude to some degree, but it’s definitely not a cure-all; he’s still been relatively fussy. So, is it gas, allergies, over-sensitivity, or the Big C – colic?…noooooo, don’t say the Big C! Perhaps a bit dramatic, but a crying baby is about as dramatic as it gets; so to think of a baby with colic that is inconsolable is a bit nerve-wracking.

We can’t seem to figure it out, and the advisors are a bit perplexed as well, so we decided to get some doctoral advice. After an appointment with the Pediatrician, we are making some changes, and seeing some good results, but we’re talking about a human life span of three weeks; we really don’t have much to measure success against. When he’s able to relax, it could have more to do with the changes he’s going through than any changes we make. However, to be on the safe side, changes are being made, and we’re seeing positive results. The Mrs. has cut out all dairy, peanuts, eggs, caffeine, spicy foods, and is off an anti-biotic she was taking. And fingers are crossed.

We’re seeing smiles and yesterday we were all able to lay on the bed and play without the hint of any fussiness. Perhaps the advisory committee does know what they are talking about, and the Dude is crazy for second-guessing.

I’m not so sure. At this point the Dude is subscribing to the belief in Voodoo, Grammie Voodoo.

Over the weekend, the Dude’s Madre, aka Grammie, came to visit, and prior to her arrival, the Dude’s sister (we really need a good nickname for her) told Mrs. Dude that Grammie would work her Grammie Voodoo magic on Little Dude while she was here. Indeed she did.

In defense of every piece of advice we’ve been given, this visit did coincide with all of the changes that we implemented, but the Dude is leaning towards the Voodoo…I saw it with my own two eyes. Unintelligible singing, strange patterns of walking and swaying that almost seemed ceremonial, and an immeasurable amount of hugs and kisses were used to mesmerize the Little Dude, and he loved it. The Dude and Mrs. Dude loved the extra hands as well.

I have no hard proof that the Grammie Voodoo worked, but then again, I have no hard proof that any of the other changes are working either, so I’m going with Voodoo on this one.

I guess the lesson for this week is seek advice but use discretion; Mom and Dad are ultimately responsible for the bambino and the bambino’s happiness. Use advice as you see fit. But, the true lesson is get Grammies involved as much as possible. They might just be guessing, but they seem to understand how to make the right guesses at the right time.

Lessons from the Front Lines – Week Two

Posted on July 4, 2010 by admin

Little Dude's Little Feet

1. Crankiness does not take away from cuteness, but it sure does lead to long nights and tired days. Little Dude has been a bit cranky this week; unable to stay comfortable for much longer than an hour stretch. This crankiness leads to some long nights and tired days making the development of a routine pretty unlikely at this point. It seems that the still developing intestines are the source of the Little Dude’s gaseousness and resulting crankiness…that’s our theory anyway. Which leads me to point number two.

2. There are over-the-counter gas relief medicines specifically designed for infants. Awesome! We’re not a huge “medicine family,” but considering The Boy’s discomfort and our sleepless nights, we’re cool with making some exceptions. When we heard this from a trusted source, Mrs. Dude made a straight-line to the nearest pharmacy and stocked up. To our amazement, it worked…very well. Little Dude started to show signs of his true calm and relaxed nature within an hour. Our nights are still relatively sleepless, but at the least The Boy is more comfortable.

3. In the week one ruminations, the Dude couldn’t commit to the absolute necessity of a baby swing, but with an additional week of experience comes an additional commitment to the baby swing. It’s a must. No two ways about it. A must. This is a big step for the Dude considering that during pregnancy I questioned why we needed this large contraption cluttering our house, and after week one I liked it, but wasn’t sure of the necessity, and by week two the Dude has asked the Mrs. if we should have two, one for the bedroom and one for the living room! Little Dude trumps all other priorities; so decluttering and saving money are pushed aside as soon as it’s clear that one of The Boys happiest spots is gliding back and forth in the swing. If it brings Little Dude happiness, the Dude is all for it.

4. Adjusting back to work after a bambino enters your life is not easy. The job is the same, and getting back in the groove is the same as returning from any other vacation, but the mind is on the family and the time being missed while locked inside the confines of another work week. There’s got to be a better way. Is this work-our-lives-away American Dream the best we can offer as a society? Are our priorities properly aligned? Shouldn’t our amazing technological advancements be pushing us towards a “Leisure Society” where family and quality of life trump hours in an office and the accumulation of money? The economy sure does seem to be going through some growing pains these days; perhaps a shift of priorities is on the horizon…let’s hope.

Happy week two birthday Little Dude.

Lessons From the Front Lines – Week One

Posted on June 29, 2010 by admin

After a day and a half at the hospital (one overnight), the Dude, the Mrs., and Little Dude joined the Princess back at Casa de Dude, and we’ve all fumbled our way triumphantly through the Little Dude’s first week on Earth. Happy one week b-day Little Dude.

Looking back on the blur of the first seven days, some lessons are evident.

1. Mom’s are tough as nails…except when they cry…then they need lots of hugs. Birth is a doozey, and that’s just the beginning. At one point the Mrs. compared the early pains of breastfeeding to “monkey’s beating on my chest”…not sure if she’s actually had this experience, but point is well taken…mommying is painful. Added to the physical pain are sleepless nights, complete loss of personal space, and mental somersaults that accompany a constant pull in every direction at once.

2. Dads aren’t too shabby either. True, Dads don’t endure the physical pain, but the mental somersaults are just as much a part of their life trying to balance the increasing priorities within a decreasing scope of time. Sleepless nights are sleepless nights to Mommies and Daddies; someone needs to burp and change the boy after Mom feeds him, and the Princess and pooches still need breakfast come morning. I have no idea how a single parent functions.

3. The rest of the tribe is almost as important as Mom and Dad. As the saying goes, “It takes a village…” Babies change everything in an instant, and other members of the “parent club” recognize the magnitude of this transition and actively offer support without a request. It seems like it’s just understood that it’s needed. No one has offered to setup a trust fund for him yet, but gestures as simple as dropping off dinner help a day flow smoothly.

This voluntary assistance also extends to the Princess who has happily taken on the role of big sister without a fuss.

4. Nature is amazing! This boy is incredible, growing and changing on a daily basis, and to think a short seven days ago he was housed inside of another human being. Millions of minute interactions occurring at precise moments to bring the tiny lad into our lives. Thanks Mama Nature.

5. The Moby rocks. It allows you to wrap the baby around you using a simple cloth as I imagine our ancestors have done for quite a while. Allowing for hands-free mobility, and letting the Dude and Little Dude cruise around the yard watering the gardens and taking in the scenery.

6. A battery operated swing and bouncy chair come in very handy. I’m not sure I would say a must, but pretty darn close to a must.

7. All hail the swaddle! I’ll spare you the detailed descriptions of this relatively boring topic, but if you know anyone with an infant, or expecting, I highly recommend “The Happiest Baby on the Block” by Dr. Karp. Here’s a video that shows some of the techniques in action.

Dude Knows Best

Dude Abides

Category Archives: Lessons from the Front Lines