The Dude Goes All Griswold on Your Arse!

Happy December! Festivus is officially underway. And the Dude is kicking it off right with some sweet holiday lights.

I’m not much of a holiday person. I don’t need a random day to give me reason to get in a good mood and share cheer. We should be doing that every day. We shouldn’t need a special day to remind us to say “I love you.” Do it every day. And the gift giving! Oh, the gift giving! For real, stop finding reasons to buy more stuff we don’t need.

Let’s be nice to each other, remember to say “I love you,” and share some surprises all year long. Don’t store up all of life’s sweetness for a few random days.

Ba Humbug!

Ok, I’m a bit softer than that…but not by much. (Here’s a look at the Dude’s softer side from Christmas 2010.)

I LOVE holidays because they get families to slow down and spend time together. I don’t really like the contrived jolly fella that encourages materialism, but I love that kids are using their imaginations – don’t get me started about that damn bunny…or worse, the ELF! I don’t like feeling the societal pressure to spend money, but I do enjoy giving, and it’s nice to open a special gift.

As with most things in life, my guess is moderation is key. Let’s not get too hyped about the holidays, but let’s enjoy every last drop of loving family moments and burst of energy from the little ones. Life is sweet, and now’s as good a time as any to recognize.

So, to celebrate, the Dude has lit up the Dude Casa like Clark W. Griswold.

Ok, not even close to Clark. However, compared to last year, I’m definitely in Griswold territory.

Last year, I tried to quiet the holiday chirping around the house with a sweet string of lights on our outdoor staircase. Yes, 1 string of lights. I had them laying around the house, so I used them. It was pretty sad. Very Charlie Brown’esq. Needless to say, the chirping got louder.

Since I’m generally the ba humbug dude, I had no plans to hang more. I already struck out. Did I not prove my limited holiday lighting capability?!

But the Dude’s plans changed when 1,000 lights landed in my lap…on the same day. Conspiracy? Or just some fun loving folks spreading holiday cheer?

My guess is the latter, but I’ll play out both scenarios for you…

For the conspiracy buffs:

Mrs. Dude: Rex, Dude’s holiday lights are totally bogus! (Yes, Mrs. Dude talks like a 1980’s valley girl in my mind.)

Rex (Mrs. Dude’s Dad, & the landlord, & the mechanic – a man the Dude should listen to :)): I hear ya Mrs. Dude. Let’s make sure he gets it right this year. We’ll both give him lights to make sure he knows Charlie-Brown-style holiday light displays are not accepted in this family. Arrgghhh! (Pirate noises always sound evil.)

Mrs. Dude: My thoughts exactly! Mu ha ha ha ha!!!!!! (that’s an evil laugh :))

How it actually happened:

Mrs. Dude to herself: Same as above.

Rex to himself: Whoa, I bought way too many lights. I don’t want to hang all these. I’ll give some to the Dude.

So, I ended up with 1,000 little lights that needed a home. And I needed to rectify the wrong from last year’s lame lighting.

I used every bulb and even added two extra strings, a Red Flyer wagon, three poinsettias, and a wreath!

Let the holidays begin!

Drum-roll please….

Lookin' Good Griswold

Lookin’ Good Griswold

The Festivus Wagon

The Festivus Wagon

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0ar-__ub0rc[/youtube]

She’s Artsy

All Dolled Up for the Nutcracker

All Dolled Up for the Nutcracker

The Princess had the pleasure of attending the Nutcracker ballet over the weekend.  Nina and Rex brought her to the big city to watch the toe spinners.

Here’s a big thank you to Nina and Rex.  Without you I may have been forced to partake in another episode of the torture that many refer to as the Nutcracker.

I’ve been.  I think I was asleep in a bout five minutes.  Just not my thing.  Princess and I will have to bond over other life experiences…perhaps blogging.

But, as we all expected, The Princess fell in love.  Rumor has it that she was on the edge of her seat the entire time, and during a quick moment of silence as the crowd stopped applauding, she let out a spontaneous “woo hoo” that echoed through the theater.

Based on her lack of interest in soccer, and what seems to be a natural inclination towards all things girly, dance seems to be a perfect fit for The Princess.  It’s no surprise the Nutcracker is her jammy jam.

It’s fun to watch interests developing.

So after the ballet, I started to dig into what she liked, and eventually it led to me asking if she would like to be a dancer when she grows up.  The Princess replied with….

“My ribs get tired when I dance.”

Huh?!  For real?!

Your ribs?!  Get tired?!

Can ribs even get tired?

Perhaps physical exertion is not her bag.

At least she’s a good artist.

Jazz Mechanic

A nondescript building with no signage.  A yard filled with vehicles in various stages of disrepair…almost surrounding the building.  Two large garage doors wide open.  One car raised on the lift in the left-hand garage bay.  Miles Davis pouring through the open 15 foot doors at decibels you might expect from an outdoor concert.  And in the right bay?  A man in blue Dickies jamming to his hourly “dance break.”

A good, trustworthy, mechanic is as rare as an honest politician.

The Dude has given up on the political process.  But the necessity of transportation, and the Dude’s lack of mechanical knowledge, requires some form of Dude/mechanic relationship.

Luckily, I’ve had the good fortune of marrying into a mechanic family.  The Jazz Mechanic described above is Mrs. Dude’s padre, aka Rex, and not only does he know his way around a vehicle, but he loves his family enough to extend a family discount.

Trustworthy and an amazing deal!?

Unreal.  Gracias Rex.

Knowing that your car is running well, and you weren’t cheated, is a great relief.  But the true joys in life are the little things.

As I’ve mentioned, I love our minivan.  Mrs. Dude is still somewhat skeptical, but I dig it.  And for all the haters, we’ve got a captain’s hat and a mini machine gun to let them know we are legit minivaners.

But now, we’ve taken it to the next level.

The yacht rolls into the Jazz Mechanic for some new brakes, and it comes back stopping on a dime and rocking this…

Jazz Mechanic

Jazz Mechanic

Sweet surprise Jazz Mechanic.

That’s the browning logo.  I’ve never hunted a day in my life, but we now have multiple references to firearms on the family truckster.    Don’t underestimate the minivan.

It Takes More Than Rock n’ Roll

I’m no carpenter, but I think Starship is full of it.

Saturday was the day of reckoning for the stairs.  They concussed Mrs. Dude, so Rex and I decided we needed a little retribution (that and the stairs were 26 years old).

Down with the stairs!

As a humorous side note, when the Dude was growing up, we moved into a new house, and this new house had a cheesy cowboy/ranch style fence surrounding the front yard.  Included in this fence was an obnoxious entryway that extended over the entrance to the walkway leading from the driveway to the front door.  I was in third grade at the time, so I don’t have a clear memory of how tall it was, but apparently the previous owner built it to fit his elfin size.  A short time after we moved in, my Dad arrived home from work, and began to walk to the house from the driveway.  In full stride, he stepped under the entryway and was knocked flat on his back when his head made direct contact with the low hanging wood.  Clearly not enough room for a 10 gallon hat.  He marched to the basement, pulled out the extension cord, grabbed the saw, and after two cuts the entryway was lying in the yard.

This mission has a similar feel to it.

As I started the demolition, while Rex was off on his first trip to Home Depot (It’s a given that projects always take more than one trip to the Depot.), I kicked on some tunes.  The Black Keys to be specific.  While I can assure you this was some serious rock n’ roll, these tunes did not help build the stairs one bit.  I have no idea how Starship built an entire city on it.  I’m calling BS.

We put in a 12 hour shift knocking down and replacing the stairs.  We finished up under the lights at 10:15PM.  But, we finished in one day, and the stairs are awesome.  I’m not sure if they are any less slippery when wet, but they are amazingly sturdy.  And it’s pretty cool to build something.

I’m On a Boat!

I'm On a Boat

Do they make infant life preservers?  Would it matter if they did; could an infant actually preserve his life with one?  My guess is a parent and their life jacket suffice…right?

Well, the Little Dude had his first boat ride yesterday…sans life jacket…please don’t tell Social Services.

It was perfect.  We were watching that amazingly boring World Cup championship (Don’t get me wrong, I played soccer from kindergarten through college…I like it, but that game was lame even for soccer fans.), and Mrs. Dude’s Dad, aka Rex, saved us from boredom with a cruise on his power boat.

It was a gnarly summer day; bright sun, blue skies, calm water, hot, but with a good breeze.

Boats seem like a lot of work and money, but they sure are fun to be on.  It’s a whole new perspective from the water; literally and figuratively.  The trip refreshed all of us.

The Little Dude loved the motion and the breeze, and Mrs. Dude commented that it was the “most fun [she’s] had since being eight months pregnant”…when the real discomfort set in.

We made a point to stop a couple times to hop overboard to swim, so the Princess was delighted, and the Dude soaked in the entire experience…all the while silently singing I’m on a Boat in my head.