Category Archives: Family

Dude’s News: What’s Up 2012?!

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Little Dude - Not a Fan of Santa

Little Dude - Not a Fan of Santa

Happy New Year! So, here we are, 2012. Lots o’ hoopla these days; world’s gonna end, the Mayans said so, yadda, yadda, yadda.

After 15 whole days, I’d have to say, that it seems like more of the same. Which, isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Sure, there’s a wide array of world characteristics that could/should be improved, but overall, life is pretty groovy. Sure as shit could be a lot worse.

So, rather than looking at the “is the world gonna end perspective,” the Dude is going to spend 2012 focused on why life is rockin’…and doin’ my best to keep it that way.

I always say that I don’t do “resolutions,” but was that a resolution?

Nah, just a glass half full perspective that I try to maintain. So, keep your resolutions. 🙂

It’s been about a month since the last edition of Dude’s News, so hold onto your hats, we have catching up to do. Actually, it’s A LOT for one post, but it’s all sooo cool.

I really need to post more often. Another resolution?!…damn you resolutions!

Local News
6 children + 7 adults + three cars + 12 hours = ridonculous travel arrangements. Holy moly!

It was an awesome trip, but wow, what a blur. There is no good way to travel, but even more so with that many people/children over hundreds of miles. Just a matter of grinning and baring it.

It’s been too long since we’ve been able to spend Christmas with the Dude’s extended family. It was fantastic to be with my Grandfather and join in all the reindeer  games; Santa and Mrs. Claus, 30+ people, singing around the tree, living room stuffed with loved ones and gifts, a Yankee swap, lots of tasty food, football (extra bonus considering the Dude’s are still t.v.’less.), an overall fabulous time.

The downfall of taking so long to update DKB is that I lose the grasp on small details and clever story lines, but overall, there were no major fireworks. Traveling is never fun, but everyone was well behaved, and we all had a great time.

However, since I’m definitely underselling the chaos, here’s a quick video of some of the festivities with the kiddos.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Qd0GSwNC6A[/youtube]

While we’re on the subject of local news, check out this 14 month old baby using sign language with her mom. Both deaf, they carry on quite an extensive conversation.

Little Dude is putting some words together, but it’s clear that he has so much more he wants/needs to say…hence the screaming when he can’t convey his message. This video helps me understand how much must actually be going on in that fabulous little head of his. (Thanks Kid Should See This.)

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3o8Z2lzS764&context=C364dcd7ADOEgsToPDskKerngtSGaJDmFa63e-RujQ[/youtube]

Happy New Year
Check out Woody Guthrie’s list of New Year resolutions from 1942. Woody was 30 years young when he wrote this. The sweet spot; young enough to maintain his ideals but wise enough to be dangerous.

Woody Guthrie New Year Resolutions

Woody Guthrie New Year Resolutions

1. Work more and better
2. Work by a schedule
3. Wash teeth if any
4. Shave
5. Take bath
6. Eat good — fruit — vegetables — milk
7. Drink very scant if any
8. Write a song a day
9. Wear clean clothes — look good
10. Shine shoes
11. Change socks
12. Change bed cloths often
13. Read lots good books
14. Listen to radio a lot
15. Learn people better
16. Keep rancho clean
17. Dont get lonesome
18. Stay glad
19. Keep hoping machine running
20. Dream good
21. Bank all extra money
22. Save dough
23. Have company but dont waste time
24. Send Mary and kids money
25. Play and sing good
26. Dance better
27. Help win war — beat fascism
28. Love mama
29. Love papa
30. Love Pete
31. Love everybody
32. Make up your mind
33. Wake up and fight

This ditty from Woody is perfect for the kiddos…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DUDtFdnn9oQ[/youtube]

Let’s stick with the New Year subject to share a quick list: 12 Simple Steps for Going Green in 2012

It’s a decent list. I’m not sure I agree with all of them, but the Dude Family is happy to say we are trying to practice most.

1.  Recycle
2. Turn off the lights
3. Make the light bulb switch
4. Turn on the tap water
5. Turn down the heat
6. Support food recovery programs
7. Buy local
8. Get out and ride a bike
9. Share a car
10. Plant a garden
11. Compost
12. Reduce your meat consumption

Technology
A camera that is fast enough to capture light moving. Go get ’em MIT. It’s sort of a complex explanation, but pretty cool. (Thanks Kottke.)

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EtsXgODHMWk&feature=plcp&context=C32a9c62UDOEgsToPDskLORj8HPPm_p9RnBgiIPFDX[/youtube]

Space

  • Announced this week. The most advanced map of the “dark matter” that makes up 3/4th’s (that’s almost all!) of our Universe. Another great reminder of how small we are.
  • Here are 24 beautiful reminders of the teeny tiny size. Top 24 Deep Space Pictures of 2011.
  • In the last edition of Dude’s News, I mentioned the discovery of the largest black holes to date. Now we have some black hole news closer to home. The black hole at the center of the Milkyway Galaxy – our galaxy – (which is 27,000 light years from Earth!) is going to eat a giant dust cloud over the next decade. This is the first time scientists will have a front row seat of a black hole feeding…feeding! (at least that’s what we think).

Kids Shows

  • Since we’re still talking about the holidays, here’s a quick reminder about the joy of giving from the Dude and Little Dude’s fav show; Yo Gabba Gabba. (Thanks The Kid Should See This.)[vimeo]http://vimeo.com/33952163[/vimeo]
  • We’ve also been digging some Sesame Street lately, and Little Dude has become a die hard fan of Elmo – What does that little red dude have over kids? However, I’ve yet to see the “Hold On, Elmo’s Texting” Elmo. (Thanks Questionable Skills.)
Elmo - Hold on, Elmo's Texting

Elmo - Hold on, Elmo's Texting

Middle Childhood Rocks
Who even knew there was a “middle childhood,” but after reading this New York Times article, I have to say, MCH (I made that up) rocks.

“It is a time of great cognitive creativity and ambition, when the brain has pretty much reached its adult size and can focus on threading together its private intranet service—on forging, organizing, amplifying and annotating the tens of billions of synaptic connections that allow brain cells and brain domains to communicate,” states the NYT. Or as one anthropologist puts it, “Kids can do something now.” 

It’s so true. The Princess is 6 1/2, and this stage of development is fun to watch. She’s not a little kid anymore. The dots of life are being connected, and she’s becoming more confident and adventurous.

MCH…very cool.

Nature
As I’ve professed many times, the Dude loves the ocean. Here’s an awesome cover story in Outside magazine about a marine biologist that is training himself in neuroscience in an effort to demonstrate that the ocean physically makes us happier people.

Could there be a more worthwhile mission?

I’m sure this principle applies to all of nature…although the ocean does seem to have very unique effects.

Intense
This is the tearjerker section. Grab a couple tissues and sit down for two awesome videos.

Both of these videos tell their own story, so I won’t set them up, but I can say I felt better – in some way – after watching both of them.

Life is intense. But, intensity = growth.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vw5HLT-TyRs[/youtube]

 [youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BACnPBdsH20&feature=related[/youtube]

History
Over the past two editions of Dude’s News I’ve mentioned some interesting new findings in history, and here’s another one.

How is that we are so off in our history? I guess we are way off in a lot of things – health, economics, education. This is a crazy society.

So, this history lesson is that there is now evidence that Neanderthals 44,000 years ago were constructing buildings out of mammoth bones that were at least 26 feet across.

Our history education of 44,000 years ago is soooo not that. Perhaps they weren’t mere “cavemen.”

The collective “we” should stop passing on poor guesses as facts – across all aspects of society. And the collective “we” should all be more pissed about the fact that this is happening – again, across all aspects of society.

Art
Check out this awesome artist from England, Rob Ryan. His paper cutting skills are sick.

The Dude strongly dislikes a mess. And the Princess loves to cut up some paper. As you can imagine, this creates some paper cutting vs. clean floors tension. But after watching this awesomeness, I’m reconsidering how important paper cutting skills are. Princess, cut on.

[vimeo]http://vimeo.com/30265328[/vimeo]

Do you remember Bob Ross? No?! The dude from the 70’s with the huge afro that painted amazing landscapes – including lots of “happy trees” –  in about 15 minutes on PBS. The Dude killed many afternoons after school mesmerized by Bob. He must have painted so many pictures for his show, but I looked on ebay to buy one, and they are hundreds of dollars…if you can even find them. I guess I wasn’t the only one who dug his magical artistic talents. Here’s a peek at Bob doing his thing…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hRa5VhrbSLY&list=UUuXEB99IdPg_vSZKoVhNRVw&index=7&feature=plcp[/youtube]

Now check out this street artist. He might just be better than Bob…and that kills me to say. 🙂

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pGJCBGhyO7o&list=UUwAbrDxPOvgOCIgZ6jvaLKQ&index=3&feature=plcp[/youtube]

Extreme
In past posts/Dude’s News, I’ve shared some pretty rad videos of…I guess you’d call them sports…maybe extreme sports. I’m not really sure. The world is pretty cool today with all of the cross-over from one genre to the next…music, art, fashion, sports, etc. It’s hard to keep track of the stew that makes people who they are these days.

I’ve shared some street skiing and mountain biking that is not on a mountain, and now I’d like to introduce you to Scott Stevens, a snowboarder that seems to draw on a lot of skateboarding…and also is not on a mountain. Creativity is awesome! And he hails from the Dude’s home state…stand up MA! Enjoy. (Thanks Kottke)

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-MQMUIUkw0I&feature=plcp&context=C387c529UDOEgsToPDskKMqA2T82VqkMrRmwnC8DNR[/youtube]

Surf Break
Check out this amazing photo – Surfer Magazines’ photo of the year. I’ll admit, the Dude is a sucker for anything surf, but come on, does it get any better than this? A perfect wave at the end of a perfect rainbow…my kind of pot o’ gold.

Surfer - Photo of the Year

Surfer - Photo of the Year

2012 & Beyond
Here’s to an amazing 2012. Let curiosity be our guide.

From Skillshare, a fab group of peeps who are out to revolutionize the paradigms of learning, comes this beautiful manifesto for the transformative power of curiosity. (Thanks Brain Pickings.)

[vimeo]http://vimeo.com/34853044[/vimeo]

Do You Realize?

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I’ve been thinking about this post for a while. I guess on some level, it’s been knocking around the Dude’s noggin for years.

On September 5th my Grandmother passed away.

Grandma, Gram, Greatma. The Dude’s Mom’s Mom. The absolute epitome of a Grandmother.

Here we are 20 days later, and I’m just now getting around to putting pen to pad…or keystroke to keyboard. I can’t really explain my slow pace for turning this post around. I guess a life with kids is always an excuse, but that’s not really what held me up. It was more of a reluctance.

A reluctance to move on, a reluctance to face the closure, a reluctance to work through the feelings of mourning, a reluctance to let one of the last pieces of childhood fade away? Probably all of the above, but also a reluctance to the idea of my post not living up to  the amazing person that Gram is (she’ll always be in my heart, so I’m sticking with is rather than was).

The Dude has been blessed with some amazing genes. If my Grandparents are any sign of what’s to come, then Mrs. Dude is stuck with me for a long time. Gram passed away a month and a half before her 92nd birthday, and her amazing husband, Pop, is still watching the Yankees and doing his daily crossword puzzle  at the ripe age of 94.

92 years of life is amazing, and beyond just surviving for such a long period of time, Gram shared an infectious love with everyone she met for those 92 years. She had four children, 10 grandchildren, and eight great grandchildren. She definitely left a legacy, but that legacy is much more than the number of her offspring.

By the time someone you love reaches 92, it’s a safe bet that thoughts of their passing have crossed your mind. So, I’ve had time to ponder the importance that Gram holds for me. And it is a deep, down to my core, type of importance. But it is never fully understood until it is a reality. When that phone call comes, and that expected, yet dreaded, news is passed through the family.

I’ve had twenty days to let the reality sink in, and Gram’s importance to me grows everyday. But I’ve moved beyond my reluctance to falling short. I know my writing can never live up to the person that Martha Louise Olsen is. Words can’t capture how special she is and how she could warm people’s hearts by just being herself.

There are endless examples and stories to tell. We relived great memories when we celebrated her life at the funeral. Tea parties, surprises under our pillows, singing around the Christmas tree, tennis camp, hours spent traveling to soccer games, our favorite desserts. But to me, Gram’s lasting significance was as simple as it could be, love…and lots of it.

Gram always had a smile to share and never had a bad word for anyone. She was a fighter for what she believed in, but she would fight in the absolute most loving way. I never once heard a complaint, saw an angry face, or witnessed even the slightest mean-spirited action. Family was always the top priority, but her love stretched way beyond the family tree. Her love was all inclusive. And her husband, Pop, was the man she loved the most until the final breath of air.

I am who I am, on so many levels, because of Gram’s love. I am the husband, father, and person that I am because of the lessons that Gram passed on to me. And the brilliance of it all is the Gram never once “taught” me a lesson. She passed on everything I needed to know to live a good life and be a good person by just being who she was. Her love infected me from day one, and it will never let me go.

As I’ve pondered the passing of people I love over the years, I’ve had a song by the Flaming Lips that sticks with me. There are a lot of nice thoughts in the song, but one that stands out, and is fitting for this particular moment goes like this:

Do You Realize – that everyone you know someday will die
And instead of saying all of your goodbyes – let them know
You realize that life goes fast
It’s hard to make the good things last

We’ll all be moving to the great unknown someday, but while we’re here, the most important thing we can do is share our love and let the people who are important to us know how much we care for them. When they are gone, they’re gone. I can’t tell Gram that I love her today, but I know beyond a shadow of a doubt how much she loved me and she knows how much I love her.

The Dude family is basking in this love as well. We don’t let a day pass without saying those three magic words…many times. 🙂 It’s hard to make the good things last, so enjoy them while they are here, let them know how special they are…and fight like hell to keep them close.

Before I share the great Flaming Lips tune, I want to share a Bible verse. Stop choking, yes, a Bible verse. I believe this is the first time the Dude has quoted the Bible; not sure if/when it will happen again, so enjoy. This is a verse from Gram’s funeral service, and it captures Gram’s essence and her enduring lesson…plus, it uses the word “abide”…as in The Dude abides.

1 Corinthians 13
Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends…And now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; and the greatest of these is love.

Can I get an amen?!

And now on to the Flaming Lips, but before I go, I’ll sign off as I always do with Gram; “I love you Gram.”

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ETI72zGyzZI&feature=related[/youtube]

On the Road

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The past couple weeks have been a whirlwind. Two trips to Connecticut in two weeks. And by trips I mean car rides. And by two I don’t mean up and back; I mean up and back TWICE. For the record, that’s approximately 12 hours each way. But when you factor in a stop to rally the troops at my sister’s house, it’s more like 14+ door to door.

Ouch.

The first trip was a much needed visit to my Mother’s parents, i.e. my Grandparents. It had been a little over a year since we visited, and Gram and Pop had yet to meet Little Dude. Some QT was definitely a necessity.

However, there is no easy way to travel. After some hemming and hawing, we decided that Dude and Little Dude would hit the road on their own and rendezvous with the Lady in the Shoe, one of her many offspring, and my mother for a group trip in one minivan to CT. Makes the trip easier for everyone and saves quite a bit of cabbage…although the whole fam was missed.

It was a fantastic trip. Little Dude did much better in his seat than I expected…driving through the night is a must. So good to see my Grandparents and have them meet LD…GreatMa was the first to teach him how to clap! 🙂 It was a great opportunity for some Daddy/Little Dude bonding….it’s fun being his Dad. We even found time to add some flowers to their yard. All in all, a great trip, and we made it home safe and sound. Although, these before and after pictures describe the effects of traveling with a toddler pretty accurately:

On the Road - Before

On the Road - Before

On the Road - After

On the Road - After

Two days after arriving home, we received the unfortunate news that my Dad’s mother, aka Baba, passed away. And the services would be held in CT. Back to the road.

This time it was like my childhood revisited. The Dude, Mom, Dad, The Lady in the Shoe, and one of her many offspring piled in a minivan. Family roadtrip. I don’t think we made a trip like that since my sister was looking at colleges twenty years ago. Strange but fun.

Death tends to instigate reflection. It’s an opportunity to remember the life someone led and the effect they had on other people.

Driving in a car for 12+ hours also tends to instigate reflection. Quite the combo; faced with one of life’s most basic truths (i.e. death), and nothing but time to think about it. As the tires rolled along the highway, I filled my time with thoughts of the lasting effects Baba would leave with me.

It’s a deep thought process. What do we take from someone we love? How do they make us who we are?

Baba was a character. Many would categorize her as a disciplinarian…usually her family. But the flip side is that many would say how loving and generous she was. Complicated, but I guess everyone is.

I fall somewhere in the middle. As her second Grandchild, I was early in the cycle of her relaxing with age. I was exposed to her disciplinarian ways, but I never really took her seriously, and as the older sibling, the Lady in the Shoe was outspoken enough for both of us. Over the years, I developed a joking but loving relationship with Baba where she never forced discipline on me, but always offered a loving hug, smile and kind word.

In the end, I have nothing but fond memories of my time with Baba. As I rolled through the catalog of Baba memories, I searched for that lasting effect. The nugget that I would always say was Baba.

After a two day trip north, I still could not hit the bulls-eye. I wandered through memories, and smiled at the loving thoughts, but could not land on the life lessons I would hold close.

Then I went through the funeral process – the wake, pallbearer, and burial – and I realized that my thoughts didn’t need to be so deep. I didn’t need to look so hard for the lasting effects. Perhaps the process was needed to work through a loss, but the answer was much simpler.

Family.

That’s the lasting effect I take from Baba. Family. And the importance of holding family close.

This may seem like an odd lesson considering the trajectory of Baba’s life, but to me (and I think Baba in the end) it makes complete sense.

Baba was a fighter, and she could hold a grudge. I won’t pretend to know the difficulties she faced through her life or the experiences that shaped who she was, but I do know that she would tell you what she believed (right or wrong), and if you didn’t like it, she wasn’t afraid to cut you out of her life. Seems harsh. And it is. But it’s part of who she was.

As a result, there are groups of family members that we don’t knowt. But a funeral brings people together. It brings long-lost family out of hiding.

As I took in the funeral process, I realized how much family is connected…regardless of disagreements. Baba may have been a fighter, and probably alienated some folks, but family remains connected. Memories remain and similarities persist.

It is amazing to see a group of distant relatives in one room. Similar looks, similar memories, similar mannerisms. Connections that run deep, despite disagreements and separation.

Genetics is strong.

We may disagree – and maybe even dislike – members of our family, but in the end we are connected…and we will always be.

Baba was not the same person when she passed as she was throughout her life. I’m sure none of us are. We grow, mature, and relax. As I said, I have fond and loving memories of Baba, and despite any imperfections, this is the woman I know she was; kind, loving, and an outspoken fighter for what she believed to be right.

Baba loved her family. Despite disagreements, that love was strong. Families do not  always get along, but the love that she shared with her kids, grandkids, and great-grandkids was evident and passed down through the generations.

To laugh often and much;
To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children;
To earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends;
To appreciate beauty, to find the best in others;
To leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition;
To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived.
This is to have succeeded.

— inaccurately attributed to
Ralph Waldo Emerson

I love this quote. I think it is a great description of a life well lived, and I can unequivocally confirm that Baba lived a great life according to this standard.

I am a better person for knowing and being loved by her. I can’t pinpoint that single lesson that Baba bestowed, but I know that I am who I am as a result of having her in my life and the genetics passed down the long line to me.

Baba, I love you. You will be missed, but I smile when I think of the great life you lived. Thank you for being the person you are.

We Went to Thanksgiving and…

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Family and holidays go together like turkey and naps.  (Side note, the Thanksgiving Day Nap is arguably the king of all naps.)

However, as life progresses, family dynamics progress as well.

Growing up, big holidays were spent at the Dude’s grandparents.  Birthdays, Easter, and Thanksgiving would shift from time to time, but Christmas Eve was a given.  Twenty five years straight, the Dude sat in the “No-no Room” singing Christmas carols, shaking Santa’s hand, and enjoying the company of the extended family.

Then life happened.

Changes in location, changes in career paths, and ultimately, changes in family life brought the Christmas streak to an end a few years ago.  Now it’s a struggle to make one holiday with the extended family, never mind a prolonged streak.

Mix in the complexity of alternating holidays between Dude and Mrs. Dude’s families, plus factoring in siblings and their in-laws, and determining a satisfactory holiday schedule is nothing short of a miracle.

As families grow and life marches on, priorities adjust.  The family focus that helped create my identity is shifting.  I have great holiday memories of family dropping their everyday concerns and coming together to strengthen bonds that have developed over generations.  Mrs. Dude and I now have the opportunity to create these memories for our kids.  But roles are chaning.  My parents are now the Grandparents that can’t say “no.”  My sister and brother-in-law are now the fun aunt and uncle.  And so on.

And while priorities change, the definition of family remains constant.  The bond that families share, and strengthen by coming together to celebrate life and the company of loved ones, is not sacrificed.  It’s fortified.  A new generation is added to the familial chain.  The bonds passed through the ancestry are extended once again.

While we can’t always share the holidays with each and every member of our family, the love persists.  The pride and comfort of knowing who we are and where we came from carry on, and more importantly, are shared with new faces.

Happy holidays from the Dude Family to our family and friends.  You may not be in our direct line of vision, but you’ll always remain in our hearts. We are very thankful to have you in our lives.

So, with that prelude complete…

We hit the road last Wednesday in search of some turkey.  We’re alternating Thanksgiving and Christmas between Dude and Mrs. Dude’s families, and this year was a Dude Turkey Day.  We went to stay with The Lady in the Shoe (as in “the lady in the shoe had so many kids she didn’t know what to do”), aka the Dude’s sister, and we had a blast.  Lots of great food, wine, football, jokes, and time spent with the ones we love.

We went to Thanksgiving and…

I learned a few things:

  1. My mother will sleep on a pull out couch in the middle of the house knowing there are two infants getting up throughout the night and four other kids up by 7:00 AM, and then she’ll change every diaper, run every bath, change every outfit, read every book, draw every picture, put the babies down for naps, with zero naps for herself, and bring four pies to Thanksgiving dinner…all to spend every waking moment with her grandkids.  In all fairness, Papa Dude does most of this as well, but that Grandma motivation is hard to duplicate.  I guess I’ve always known this, but it’s still impressive to witness.
  2. Despite that fact that The Lady in the Shoe has four kids under 6 pooping in one house and a mountain of diaper experience, she made the bold statement that Little Dude’s poop is the stinkiest she has ever smelled!  Can you believe that?  Could this be?Given the wretched smell of the formula we use for his reflux, and the nasty stench of the spit up, I suppose I can believe it.  But I wasn’t expecting this.  I just assumed that horrible odor was  natural for babies on formula.  I guess I’m pleased to know it’s not normal to smell that bad, but the downside is that we now have the stinky kid.
  3. Lastly, I learned that my Dad is crazy enough to sincerely ask the clerk at The Dollar Tree how much items cost!  And, according to everyone at the festivities, I’m just like my Dad.  Mrs. Dude, get ready for some absurd quirkiness as we grow old together.

But most importantly, we went to Thanksgiving and…

A rave/dance-fight broke out!

This video pretty much sums up the chaos that 6 kids under 6 can create when bottled up in one house.