Tomato Thief

She’s crafty.  The title of a classic Beastie Boys ditty, but also an attribute Mrs. Dude has displayed with increasing consistency.  Mrs. Dude is crafty.

The hordes of avid readers may recall the Dude’s “This Little Piggy” post as a past example of her wily actions.

She struck again.  Preying on the unsuspecting Dude who has faith in the words the pour from her lips.

As the night wound down, and the Dude performed the end-of-the-night rituals of locking down the house, Mrs. Dude brought up an interesting topic…out of nowhere.

“I think we should call Little Dude by his middle name.”

?!?!?!

I was stunned and assumed this was a joke, but the joke didn’t seem to have a punch line, and the Mrs. wasn’t backing down.

“The middle name is growing on me.  He looks like his middle name.”

The Dude recommended the middle name early on as his number one choice, but Mrs. Dude wouldn’t have it.  I never got a concrete reason, but it seemed like she felt the name would be too popular down the road.  Who am I to argue with motherly psychic abilities?

After much deliberation the Mrs. approved it for a middle name.

We had a name chosen about five months into the pregnancy, so we’ve been acclimated to The Boy’s name for months…along with everyone we know.  Yet, now, on a whim, a name change seems to be a serious discussion.

I tried to explain the awkward discussions we would have to have every time someone mentions his “old” name.  How I liked his name, the meaning behind the name, and our reasoning for choosing the name.

I refused to believe this was a real discussion.  The conversation carried to the bedroom.  As I brushed my fangs it continued.  I hopped into bed in disbelief, but the Mrs. stuck to her convictions in a stubborn, unapologetic way the Dude has yet to witness from her.

She explained that she calls him by his middle name when I’m not around!

Ahhh…what?!

Just as smoke began to stream from the Dude’s ears, Mrs. Dude said, “I have something I need to tell you.”  99.99% of the time, “I have something I need to tell you” is not followed by words you want to hear.

Dude:  “Great.  I can’t wait to hear it.”  Sarcasm dripping from each word.

Mrs.: “I bought a lens for the camera.”

Dude:  “Are you attempting to kill me?  You want to change Little Dude’s name, and you are spending money on a lens for the camera?”  “And you choose to bring these topics up at the same time…as I’m going to sleep?”

The only response appropriate for this exchange was laughter.  If it wasn’t laughter is would have been tears.

Mrs.:  “I’m just kidding; I don’t want to change his name.  I did buy a lens tough.”

What a relief!

Dude:  “Little Dude can keep his name?!  I’m fine with a new lens.”

Mrs.:  “Actually, it’s two lenses.”

Unbelievably crafty!  A twenty minute setup for two new camera lenses…and based on the approach, I’m psyched about the outcome.

The Dude has his guard up, but I predict I’ll be hoodwinked again.

PS – The picture above is taken with the new “portrait” lens.  I could be tricking myself, but it seems like the picture is more crisp and bright.  It’s a picture of Beans thieving a tomato from the garden.  He doesn’t even like tomatoes, but The Hyena turned him on to the free food, and he can’t contain his animal instincts.