Love Me Today: The Significance of Small Moments & Great-Grandmother-in-Laws

stargazingIf you’re ever going to love me love me now, while I can know
All the sweet and tender feelings which from real affection flow.
Love me now, while I am living; do not wait till I am gone
And then chisel it in marble — warm love words on ice-cold stone.

I’m not often choked up.

Or at least, that’s what I tell myself.

As life progresses, I realize my rough exterior is pierced more often than I’d like to admit. Not by sadness, but by life’s significance. The significance of all the small details, small moments.

2017 has claimed my lovely bride’s two Grandmothers. As a result, the fam has experienced two memorial services for Great Grandmothers in the past month.

Neither a surprise. Both an opportunity to reflect.

Both remembered for strength and grace.

The above poem was read at yesterday’s memorial service. A great sum of my feelings on loss and funerals.

Let the ones you love, know you love them. Now.

One of life’s many lessons: be present, aware, with a focus on Now.

But our everyday life pulls us to the opposite poll – rushed, stressed, focused on the past AND the future.

The Now requires a focused effort…Easier said than done.

I practiced my best focused effort during yesterday’s service. I related to the poem, spent time with family and reflected on the kind words.

I was surprised by a familiar twinge of emotion starting in the chest and pushing towards the eye – a tear threatening to escape.

Not because of sadness – I hope I showed love when I had the chance. It was the significance that bit so hard.

As we age, life seems more significant. In reality, we’re just more aware of the significance that has been there all along.

Great-Grandmother-in-Laws have impacted me more than I could ever imagine.

They opened their hearts, their homes, and their families. They accepted me unconditionally and trusted me with their lineage.

These moments may seem small, but the significance cannot be overstated. This kindness, this love will carry on for generations. They are in our veins and they are in our actions. I see their love in my family every day.

I know I say the words, but I’m not sure I’ve understood the significance.

Saying I love you is easy (important, but easy).

Recognizing the significance of this moment is hard.

A memorial is a great reminder. But the opportunity is Now.

A Saturday night stargazing and a Sunday morning lounging with Curious George may seem simple, normal. But the significance is hidden by the normal.

Last night’s stars were extra bright, and the hugs this morning are extra sweet.

With the right focus, perhaps I can capture more of the significance life has to offer – the people, relationships, and love that can be lost in the everyday hustle.

Pay attention to the small details and the significance of each moment.

When they are gone, they are gone. Love me today.

Thank you Mimi and Granny. We love you.

 

The Joy of Swinging

The Princess has turned five, and at the same time reached an important life milestone; self-propelled swinging.

Five is huge.  Five is a major shift from little kid to medium sized kid, and along with the shift come some added responsibilities.  Five brings with it kindergarten.  School bus, cafeteria lunch, a big school, and a big playground.

Big playgrounds have big swings, and kindergarteners know how to swing (or at least that’s what I tell the Princess).  The Princess loves to swing.  She could spend days gliding back and forth, but she still needs to be pushed.

To avoid any further discussions of a hideous swing set being added to the Dude’s righteous landscaping, the Dude crafted a masterful plan to help the Princess and ring in the five year old birthday; a swing hooked to the underside of the deck/house.  The swing is the most popular part of the swing set anyway…it’s called a SWING set for good reason.

So, to ring in the festivities, the Dude surprised the Princess with a groovy new green swing with bright yellow rubber protecting the chain link running from swing to house.  A beautiful swinging specimen.

Joy of Swinging

Joy of Swinging

And the Princess rejoiced at the sight, but I’m not sure any of us were prepared for the true joy such a simple gift could bring.

Of course the Dude didn’t buy all of the right parts, but of course the Dude made due with the provided parts and some magic parts from the garage, and the swing was eventually hung with care…about an hour after a fifteen minute project began.  Typical Dude.  But, the end result is just right, and the Princess agrees wholeheartedly.

Within seconds of being hung, the swing was swinging and the joy was growing like the Grinch’s heart at Christmas.  After one or two introductory pushes, something clicked and self-propelled swinging began.  The Princess had learned how to pump her legs to swing.  A major hurdle overcome, and new life long skill was cemented into place.

The Princess was immediately in love with her new skill.  As the Dude tended the garden, the Princess excitedly talked as only a five year old girl can, quickly leaping from one random thought to another.  At one point I heard “Yippee!” yelled repeatedly at least 30 times; I say at least because that’s where I lost count.  The Yippee was followed by the My Little Pony theme song sung at top volume, which of course led to the proclamation, “I’m swinging…with my eyes closed…and singing!”

The singing eventually led to some Dude and Princess discussions (always interesting), and the Dude realized the swing was a great gift for both of them.  The Dude sidestepped the swing set in the backyard debates, helped the Princess with one of life’s simple pleasures, and created a great forum for Dude and Princess discussions.  The Dude gardening and the Princess swinging, delving into many of life’s mysteries…usually profoundly explained to the Dude by the Princess.

It was a struggle to pull her off the swing as the stars began to peek through the dusk sky, and the first words uttered the following morning were “can I go outside to swing.”

So begins the big summer of the Princess and the development of life skills all kindergarteners know (at least that’s what I tell her).  Next on the list:  swimming, tying shoes, and riding with no training wheels.  Watch out kindergarten.