Princess Speaks

When a five year old speaks, the verbal onslaught is completely unpredictable…and hilarious.

It seems the Princess has some innate parenting skills…which she is happy to share with the Dude…

• “Babies don’t like the dark.”
• “Babies like to be with Mom.”
• “I can’t feed Little Dude; I have little girl nipples.”
• “It’s alright if he cries.  It hurts my ears, but I’m not frustrated.”
• “Mom we’ve tried everything with Little Dude and he won’t cooperate.  I think he’s hungry.”

These parenting skills extend past Little Dude to the Dude.  Some of her go to lines these days…including hands on the hips and eyes rolling…

• “What has gotten into you?”
• “How many times do I have to tell you this?”

Another innate quality or already brainwashed by The Man?  Consumerism…Nature vs. Nurture

• Princess excitedly proclaims,  “I just saw a bed on TV for $70!”
  Dude:  “Great.  Is that a good deal?  Do we need a bed?”

How are they making a bed look appealing to a five year old?  And why?  Just to torture parents?

• While watching a kids channel, which should be providing quality stimulus but instead advertises products to kids that will torment parents, the Princess shouts to Mrs. Dude, “We need to go here.  I’m not sure where it is, but it’s only $53 a night.”

For real?!  Can we take a break from selling stuff 24 hours per day…to five year olds who have no money?  The Princess can’t distinguish a one dollar bill from a twenty dollar bill, but that commercial somehow has her convinced that $53  per night is a good deal and worth a trip to No Man’s Land.  Get out of our heads TV!

In addition to hilarity, most Princess speak also includes a heavy dose of cuteness.

• Accepting a serious life transition; “I like having a new brother in my life.”
• Watching Mommy nurse; “Is he biting you?”
• Talking to her friends at school; “When you have a new brother or sister, you can have a baby vacation too.”
• While she enjoyed her first experience with the Wizard of Oz; “You can’t buy a brain.  All you need to do is ask God.”
• Trying to avoid dreaded bedtime; Dude: “What time is it?”  Princess:  “Don’t ask Mommy, she doesn’t know.”
• Mental preparation for the next big life transition, kindergarten; “I have to go to school in the fall.  But I can still trick or treat.  It’s at night, not during the day.”
• Picking out the uniform for her new hobby, Tae Kwan Do (i.e. the all white “karate” uniform); “Mommy, is there a pink one?”

It’s pretty fun to witness life coming together one day at a time for a kid.