Ruffled Feathers

Ruffled Feathers

Ruffled Feathers

The Dude can be a bit abrasive at times.  Not intentionally.

I think most dudes have a tendency to be a bit rough around the edges.  It’s sort of the nature of dudes.  We say how we feel without mixing too many words.

This abrasiveness can lead to a difference of opinions, and from a blogging perspective, it can lead to disgruntled readers.

It seems my post about Mrs. Dude’s spill the other day has ruffled a few feathers, including Mrs. Dude.  And for this I am very sorry.  My intention is never to offend.

I jumped into the world of blogging for a few reasons; I have an itch to write, it gives me a great opportunity for self-reflection, and the blog creates a chronicle of our lives for us to look back on for years to come.

I love the idea of capturing moments as they happen, when emotions and thoughts are still raw.  And Dude Knows Best gives me a chance to capture these raw moments.  We can’t recreate life, and as time marches on, moments are gone forever.  My goal is to grab moments as they happen and make sure they aren’t forgotten.  I want to remember what happened, what we looked like, where we were, who we were with, what we thought, how we felt.  Good and bad.

Yes, I can determine the subjects covered and what details to include, and I want to protect emotions and take other people into consideration.  But I also want a truthful look at our lives.  I’m not trying to over-share, but I’m also not trying to sugarcoat.  I want us to be able to look back at our lives in the raw form.  For better or worse.

Looking back, and readers looking in from the outside, we may not agree with all of the thoughts or feelings, but at that moment, when my fingers are stroking the keys, these are the raw thoughts and feelings.  I don’t check with Mrs. Dude prior to writing, so I’ll never claim to speak for her, but I can say with unequivocal certainty that we are a team and I respect her thoughts in the same way that she respects mine.  We may not always agree 100%, but we will never do anything to harm each other.

My blogging is a bit selfish.  Selfish from the perspective that I do it for myself and my family.  I love that people enjoy reading it, and I want my readers to be happy with what I write, but in the end, the blog is crafted to chronicle the Dudes in their raw form, and this raw form may not always agree with outside opinions.

As for the Concussed post, outside interpretation seems to view the post as a bit callous and focused on the wrong priorities during a time of need.  I can see this perspective.  I don’t agree, but I respect those opinions.

I love my family more than anything, and I’ll do anything necessary to protect and keep them safe.  The decision that Mrs. Dude and I made to wait out her concussion was not done lightly, and by no means was money the driving force behind the decision.  Mrs. Dude’s safety is always priority number one.

However, I don’t disagree with my statement that “a trip to the emergency room will cost a pretty penny,” and I can’t ignore the fact that money plays a role in healthcare decisions for 99% of the world population.  To quote the wise voices from Metallica, “It’s sad, but true.”  Healthcare costs money, and while it certainly isn’t the top priority, health and safety will always hold the top spot, I would be less than truthful if I ignored that it plays a role in decisions.  And, as I’ve mentioned, my goal is for a truthful, raw blog.  I’m interested in protecting, but not glossing over.

Western medicine has made the world a safer place, and it saves lives every day.  However, it’s not magic, and the people practicing medicine are just people, people making educated decisions with the information and experiences they have been exposed to.

While I believe Western medicine is great, I do not have 100% faith in it, nor do I think anyone should.  Mistakes are made, difference of opinions are rampant, misdiagnosis is probably more normal than correct diagnosis, and how many times have health professionals made steadfast claims only to turn around and say the opposite at a later time?  I believe wholeheartedly in guidance, but at the end of the day, we need to make the best decisions for us based on the advice we’ve received and our personal experiences.

The Dude and Mrs. Dude are unbelievably fortunate to have two amazing nurses in our family, my Mom and Mrs. Dude’s Mom.  Both Moms were exceptionally concerned about Mrs. Dude after she fell, and rightly so.  Head injuries are very serious, and subtle changes can have major impacts, possibly deadly.  The guidance that we received explained this to us with great emphasis.

Mrs. Dude and I understood the risks.  However, we also had the benefit of experiencing Mrs. Dude’s symptoms first-hand.  We saw that she was coherent and her symptoms were fading.  We also understood that 9 out of 10 times things are ok (that might not be the exact ratio with head injuries, but you get my point).  If Mrs. Dude expressed concern or seemed less than coherent at any time, the decision to seek medical attention would have been an easy Yes.

Is it wise to gamble like this?  There’s no good answer to that question, but what I can say is that life is a gamble.  Every day we wake up we gamble.  I don’t view the decisions we make with our health and wellbeing as any different than our everyday gambles.  I view it as an assessment based on the information available and our personal feelings and experiences.

Yes, we postponed going to the hospital, and in the end everything worked out.  Does this mean we got lucky?  Yeah, but we get lucky every day we make it to bed in one piece.  Does this mean we made the “right” decision?  I don’t think we can qualify health decisions as “right” or “wrong.”  They are personal choices based on our best, personal, judgment.  If we went to the hospital, I certainly would not qualify that as “wrong.”  But we didn’t, and things are good.   So, I guess I would qualify this as the right decision for us in this particular situation.

I don’t view this healthcare decision any differently than I view our choice for Little Dude’s natural birth or our decision to monitor Little Dude after the choking scare with no medical attention.  As a team, Mrs. Dude and I are making the best decisions we can with the input that we have available at the time.  We are more than happy to listen to and consider all opinions, but at the end of the day, we need to live with the consequences of the decisions we make…just like everyone else.

I’m sorry for any ruffled feathers.  I do not mean to offend, but I can pretty much guarantee that this won’t be the last time readers have a difference of opinions with thoughts expressed at Dude Knows Best.  That’s the risk I take writing in a public forum, and it’s the risk you take reading.  I hope we can respect each other’s opinions and continue to enjoy the Dude Knows Best experience.  I’m going to keep writing, and I hope you keep reading.

Thanks for the feedback.  I guess it’s a good post if it ruffles a few feathers.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.