If you’re ever going to love me love me now, while I can know
All the sweet and tender feelings which from real affection flow.
Love me now, while I am living; do not wait till I am gone
And then chisel it in marble — warm love words on ice-cold stone.
- If You’re Ever Going to Love Me – Poem by Anonymous
I’m not often choked up.
Or at least, that’s what I tell myself.
As life progresses, I realize my rough exterior is pierced more often than I’d like to admit. Not by sadness, but by life’s significance. The significance of all the small details, small moments.
2017 has claimed my lovely bride’s two Grandmothers. As a result, the fam has experienced two memorial services for Great Grandmothers in the past month.
Neither a surprise. Both an opportunity to reflect.
Both remembered for strength and grace.
The above poem was read at yesterday’s memorial service. A great sum of my feelings on loss and funerals.
Let the ones you love, know you love them. Now.
One of life’s many lessons: be present, aware, with a focus on Now.
But our everyday life pulls us to the opposite poll – rushed, stressed, focused on the past AND the future.
The Now requires a focused effort…Easier said than done.
I practiced my best focused effort during yesterday’s service. I related to the poem, spent time with family and reflected on the kind words.
I was surprised by a familiar twinge of emotion starting in the chest and pushing towards the eye – a tear threatening to escape.
Not because of sadness – I hope I showed love when I had the chance. It was the significance that bit so hard.
As we age, life seems more significant. In reality, we’re just more aware of the significance that has been there all along.
Great-Grandmother-in-Laws have impacted me more than I could ever imagine.
They opened their hearts, their homes, and their families. They accepted me unconditionally and trusted me with their lineage.
These moments may seem small, but the significance cannot be overstated. This kindness, this love will carry on for generations. They are in our veins and they are in our actions. I see their love in my family every day.
I know I say the words, but I’m not sure I’ve understood the significance.
Saying I love you is easy (important, but easy).
Recognizing the significance of this moment is hard.
A memorial is a great reminder. But the opportunity is Now.
A Saturday night stargazing and a Sunday morning lounging with Curious George may seem simple, normal. But the significance is hidden by the normal.
Last night’s stars were extra bright, and the hugs this morning are extra sweet.
With the right focus, perhaps I can capture more of the significance life has to offer – the people, relationships, and love that can be lost in the everyday hustle.
Pay attention to the small details and the significance of each moment.
When they are gone, they are gone. Love me today.
Thank you Mimi and Granny. We love you.
