Tag Archives: lessons

Life Lessons from the End: What can Aging & Death Teach Us?

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Considering the recent post about my Grandfather, this seems like a good time to share some life lessons from the end of a life well lived.

We push through our daily lives struggling, clawing, fighting for…????

We are continually distracted by all of the things we think we need to do. Places to be. People to impress.

In the end, what really matters?

  1. Marcus Aurelius on Mortality & the Key to Living Fully – Brain Pickings: Marcus Aurelius’ Meditations is an all-time classic. Sits on the table next to my bed. A few thoughts on the end of a life well lived…
    1. Just that you do the right thing. The rest doesn’t matter.
      Cold or warm.
      Tired or well-rested.
      Despised or honored.
      Dying … or busy with other assignments.Because dying, too, is one of our assignments in life. There as well: “to do what needs doing.”
  2. Top 5 Regrets of the Dying – Guardian:
    1. I wish I’d had the courage to live the life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
    2. I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.
    3. I wish I had the courage to express my feelings.
    4. I wish I had let myself be happier.
  3. What Can a Man Lear from His Grandparents –  Art of Manliness: You have their genetics. They are you. You are they. Learn from their…
    1. Work.
    2. Idiosyncrasies.
    3. Gifts to you.
    4. Activities with you.
    5. Strengths.
    6. Aging.
    7. Legacies.
  4. 7 Questions You Will Ask at the End of Your Life – Marc & Angel:
    1. Am I proud of how I lived?
    2. What did I discover?
    3. How well did I play the hand I was dealt?
    4. Did I take enough responsibility?
    5. What struggles did I conquer?
    6. How sincerely did I live through love?
    7. How much of my story did I actually write?
  5. 25 Life Lessons from a 100-Year-Old: Here are my top 5…
    1. Always maintain a good sense of humor.
    2. Your family is the most precious thing you will ever have in life.
    3. Education is important, but not necessary. Life can be an education in itself.
    4. Explore your world and stay curious.
    5. Life is a gift that you must unwrap. It’s up to you to determine if what’s inside will lead you to happiness or dismay. You have the power to make that decision for yourself.

What’s up 2013?!

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Adios 2012. So much for the end of the world. Ho hum.

Hello 2013!

The year of the Dude?! Fo sho. We expect big things every year. 🙂

Although, 2013 is most definitely going to get off to a fantastic start. The newest addition to the Dude Clan did not make an appearance during the holidays – although we were pretty darn sure we were close a couple times. So, we’ve crossed into a new month and a new year.

The Dude can only nest so much. I don’t think the house can get any cleaner. So, we’re just relaxing and waiting for the bambino to decide it’s (he or she?!) ready to say hi. Apparently there’s some cooking left to be done. No rush, baby, no rush.

I’m generally not much for New Year’s resolutions. I’m of the mindset that if you want to get ‘er done, then get ‘er done. We don’t need no stinkin’ resolutions.

However, we’ve had some time to kill, and I’ve come across some nice thoughts in my online travels, so here are some New Year’s thoughts – not resolutions – I’ll share with y’all…

Carpe Diem 
I subscribe to an online magazine called Bearings – “A Southern Lifestyle Magazine for Men.” It’s pretty great – food, music, fashion, drinks. I highly recommend it. They sent along a great end of the year message, and since you’re not a subscriber – yet, I thought I’d share a piece of their great message…

Seize the Day –  We are living bridges between who we were yesterday and who we can become, but the difference between the masterful and the mundane life is whether we make the most of the here and now. While some languish in their ode to past failures and others give up on their becoming because tomorrow never arrives, may we seize the day – purposefully living with the time, people and resources we have today.

Resolutions?!
Like I said, I’m not much of the resolution type, however, this is a pretty great list of 12 Powerful Resolutions You Should Make Every Year. Although, these feel like great life lessons more than fleeting resolutions.

I just started following this cat, but I’m digging what he’s laying down. I’ll let you click over to see the full list, but here are a couple good examples…

5.  Focus on solutions.

Life gets better when you choose to make it so.  Negative people make lots of noise about how bad things are, while positive people quietly and steadily improve things.

There are always problems, there are always challenges, and there are always people willing to transform those problems and challenges into great opportunities.  Those who have the courage, commitment and discipline to do so, create a better life for everyone.  Be one of these people.  Focus on solutions and work your way eagerly toward a brighter future.

9.  Set a good example.

It’s not about what you say; it’s about how you live your life every day.  The people who look up to you are watching you all the time.  These people are like sponges – what they see or feel you do, they will imitate.  So remember that your words mean a lot less than what you’re doing.  Choose to believe that you can and will change lives with what you do each day, and you will.

Let your actions speak for themselves.

Life Lessons
Speaking of life lessons, here’s a good list of 50 important pieces of advice that people usually aren’t told. Day 1 of a new year – a great time to soak up some great pieces of advice. Click on over for the full list, but here are a few of the Dude’s favs…

  •  Don’t lie to yourself.
  • Wealth is measured by your happiness and not by your financial statement.
  • Nobody has it all figured out.
  • Take your time.
  • Make mistakes – and LOTS of them!
  • Stop thinking so much and act.
  • Swallow your pride and apologize.
  • The grass is only greener where you water it.
  • You and you alone control how happy you allow yourself to be.
  • Be present here and now. You are lucky. Your life is a gift. Realize it.

Here’s to an awesome 2013! Keep on keepin’ on.

PS – Here are 10 great inspirational manifestos if you need a little added motivation.

Life Lessons from Jack Kerouac. An Original Dude.

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On the Road - Jack Kerouac

On the Road - Jack Kerouac

Did I just coin an awesome phrase? Original Dude – O.D. Like O.G. – Original Gangsta? No, reminds you of overdose?

Jack Kerouac’s On the Road and The Dharma Bums are two of the Dude’s favorite reads. Jack was on original dude. I’m sure the Big Labowski had Kerouac on his shelf.

So I was psyched when I saw this list of 30 Beliefs and Techniques for Prose and Life by Mr. Kerouac on Brain Pickings. And the list does not disappoint. Great life lessons and classic Jack.

A few of my fav’s:

  • Scribbled secret notebooks, and wild typewritten pages, for yr own joy
  • Submissive to everything, open, listening
  • Try never get drunk outside yr own house
  • Be in love with yr life
  • Something that you feel will find its own form
  • Accept loss forever
  • Struggle to sketch the flow that already exists intact in mind
  • Keep track of every day the date emblazoned in yr morning
  • No fear or shame in the dignity of yr experience, language & knowledge
  • Write for the world to read and see yr exact pictures of it
  • Composing wild, undisciplined, pure, coming in from under, crazier the better
  • You’re a Genius all the time

Eat the Crust First

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Are we a cut-the-crust-off-your-bread type of family?

I’m sure there is great reasoning on both sides of this discussion, but regardless of the decision, this seems like a choice that helps define a family.

Life lessons from bread crust?

I want to make sure my kids have what they need, but I don’t want to be cutting their crust throughout life.  Working through a tough crust – nice metaphor for life experiences – can help build character.

I was going to try to make the, crust has more nutrients argument, but the magic of Yahoo Answers demonstrated that this is most likely a myth.  So, I think I’ll fall back on the true crux of the issue.

From the Dude’s perspective, cutting the crust off a sandwich adds an extra step for busy parents, and throws the child/parent balance off.

There’s nothing wrong with the crust.  A little tough?  Sure.  But it’s part of the bread.  Why would we cut it off?

It seems frivolous, and to meet frivolous desires encourages more frivolous desires.  Ok, that sounds a bit extreme.

But the premise seems to fit.  We don’t need to create extra work for an everyday event that is unnecessary.

I suggest the complete opposite approach.  I can admit the crust is a bit harder to chew, so instead of stressing about it, tackle it first and save the best part for last.  That makes the last bite that much better…ah, the soft middle bite that offers the most gooey part of the fluffernutter.

Do we want our kids chasing every frivolous desire, or do we want them tough enough to tackle the tough challenges first so they can enjoy life’s finer points that much more?

Seems like an easy decision to me.

We are a crust-on type of family.

That’s what I thought until I walked into the kitchen this morning.

Mrs. Dude, we need to talk…

Eat the Crust First

Eat the Crust First

Week 12 – Groovin’

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The Boy is three months old this week.

Time flies.

Week 12 has been pretty much status quo.  We’re getting back into the flow after a short vacation and the hurricane, so just settling back into routines.

Groovin’ right along.

This picture elicits an immediate smile from the Dude.

Little Dude

Little Dude

As does this song.

Week Four – Poop Rules My Life

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Little Dude Snoozing

Little Dude Snoozing

As the Dude ventures down the path of blogging about family life, including a newborn, it’s inevitable that the subject matter will veer towards poop at some point…possibly often.  Given the first four weeks with Little Dude, my guess is poop could be a highly discussed topic.

Week four seems to be giving us some indication of the crankiness source.  We are not overly confident in this theory, infants are a fickle lot, but all signs point to some sort of development, or lack thereof, with digestion.

Poop is what it is.  A natural fact of life.  But for an infant, and especially Little Dude, it’s pretty much a matter of survival.  Really, everything at the age of four weeks is a matter of survival; it’s hard to be tiny, defenseless, and completely confused by everything around you.  But, for Little Dude, poop seems to be his kryptonite.  Serious discomfort.

The Boy shares hints of the serene quietness conjured in the mind’s eye with the thought of an “infant,” but the quiet periods have been short-lived.  Those tiny hints of calm have been separated by eating, sleeping, and fussiness.  However, the calmness is gaining strength, and Mrs. Dude reported today the Little One was smiling all day.  Smiles are a rare occurrence, never mind a full day event.

His body is beginning to operate more efficiently, and the stretches of calm, sometimes even happy, states are increasing.  The waves of fussiness are almost always ended by some form of gas; burp, fart, poop (he’s such a dude!).  Once he gets it out, the calm spreads through his body.  Uncomfortable digestion seems to be the source, and now that the digestion seems to be running a bit more smoothly, the periods of fussiness are decreasing…in length anyway.

This is a big improvement from week three where colic was able to maintain a strong position on the list of possibilities.  We may not be able to discount the Big C completely, but we are rapidly moving past this theory…or, at least the Dude is using the power of positive thinking.

In parts of the East Coast where I’ve lived, there is a cliché about the weather that seems to apply to infants (probably most aspects of life); if you don’t like the weather, wait an hour.  In other words, if you are faced with a challenge, a thunder storm or a fussy baby, give it some time, things will change.

Just when we get this digestion figured out, I’m sure another challenge will develop, but for now, it’s great to see the Little Dude moving past the largest challenge in his life….and we’ll be ready to tackle the next one.

PS – Since we’re on the subject of bodily functions; I love how changing a boy’s diaper is similar to participating in a cheesy game show.  Every time I’m wrestling with the Little Dude to change his diaper, I feel like I’m on an Asian game show with tacky English humor being dubbed in.

How quickly can you separate the cloth from the clammy skin, apply a goopy white substance, drag his butt in the air, slip a new diaper under, and grapple with the flailing limbs to secure the sticky straps, all before you’re sprayed in the face?  There are a range of theories to prevent this hilarious struggle, but reality tends to trump theory.  Babies are surprisingly strong and pee is difficult to shield.  Changing requires speed and efficiency.

There should be a Dad Olympics.